Do you spank your kids - Truckers' Trucking Forum

Baack · **^ Top** #1 10.26.2009

This poll is based on the reader either being Christian or appreciating Christian standards

I seems the popular thing to do now days is to preserve your child's self esteem
With abuse rampant in some cultures, many feel the hands off approach method is the best
For Some Parents, Shouting Is the New Spanking

I am going to include two different thought processes on this subject

Feel free to vote and get involved in the discussion

How did or how are you raising your children?
Would you change anything, on how you did things?
Advice to others struggling with raising their own kids?

Quote:

Answer: How to best discipline children can be difficult task to learn, but it is crucially important. Some claim that physical discipline (corporal punishment) such as spanking is the only method the Bible supports. Others insist that “time-outs” and other punishments that do not involve physical discipline are far more effective. What does the Bible say? The Bible teaches that physical discipline is appropriate, beneficial, and necessary.

Do not misunderstand—we are by no means advocating child abuse. A child should never be disciplined physically to the extent that it causes actual physical damage. According to the Bible, though, the appropriate and restrained physical discipline of children is a good thing and contributes to the well-being and correct upbringing of the child.

Many Scriptures do in fact promote physical discipline. “Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death” (Proverbs 23:13-14; see also 13:24; 22:15; 20:30). The Bible strongly stresses the importance of discipline; it is something we must all have in order to be productive people, and it is much more easily learned when we are young. Children who are not disciplined often grow up rebellious, have no respect for authority, and as a result find it difficult to willingly obey and follow God. God Himself uses discipline to correct us and lead us down the right path and to encourage repentance for our wrong actions (Psalm 94:12; Proverbs 1:7; 6:23; 12:1; 13:1; 15:5; Isaiah 38:16; Hebrews 12:9).

In order to apply discipline correctly and according to biblical principles, parents must be familiar with the scriptural advice regarding discipline. The book of Proverbs contains plentiful wisdom regarding the rearing of children, such as, “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (Proverbs 29:15). This verse outlines the consequences of not disciplining a child—the parents are disgraced. Of course, discipline must have as its goal the good of the child and must never be used to justify the abuse and mistreatment of children. Never should it be used to vent anger or frustration.

Discipline is used to correct and train people to go in the right way. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). God's discipline is loving, as should it be between parent and child. Physical discipline should never be used to cause lasting physical harm or pain. Physical punishment should always be followed immediately by comforting the child with assurance that he/she is loved. These moments are the perfect time to teach a child that God disciplines us because He loves us and that, as parents, we do the same for our children.

Can other forms of discipline, such as “time-outs,” be used instead of physical discipline? Some parents find that their children do not respond well to physical discipline. Some parents find that “time-outs,” grounding, and/or taking something away from the children is more effective in encouraging behavioral change. If that is indeed the case, by all means, a parent should employ the methods that best produce the needed behavioral change. While the Bible undeniably advocates physical discipline, the Bible is more concerned with the goal of building godly character than it is in the precise method used to produce that goal.

Making this issue even more difficult is the fact that governments are beginning to classify all manner of physical discipline as child abuse. Many parents do not spank their children for fear of being reported to the government and risk having their children taken away. What should parents do if a government has made physical discipline of children illegal? According to Romans 13:1-7, parents should submit to the government. A government should never contradict God’s Word, and physical discipline is, biblically speaking, in the best interest of children. However, keeping children in families in which they will at least receive some discipline is far better than losing children to the “care” of the government.

In Ephesians 6:4, fathers are told not to exasperate their children. Instead, they are to bring them up in God’s ways. Raising a child in the “training and instruction of the Lord” includes restrained, corrective, and, yes, loving physical discipline.

http://www.gotquestions.org/disciplining-children.html

Quote:

Should Parents Spank Their Children?

According to National Family Violence Surveys and a number of research studies, over 90 percent of parents use some form of punishment that involves inflicting physical pain when disciplining their children.

In considering this statistic, the questions that come to mind are:

Can spanking our children lead to them having emotional problems in the future?
Are there methods of disciplining our children that do not involve hitting our children?

According to a study published in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, corporal punishment can lead to emotional and behavioral problems down the road. In fact, this study suggests that children who are spanked even occasionally are more likely to experience depression or low self-esteem compared to children who are not spanked.
The study in question was conducted by Dr. Paul Frick of the University of New Orleans in Louisiana. Dr. Frick and his research team were not able to find any positive effects that come from spanking.
In fact, they found that children who are spanked can learn that when they are angry and upset at another person, hitting is appropriate behavior. Put another way, getting spanked does not help children identify inappropriate behavior, nor does it teach them what they can do differently in similar circumstances in the future.
Alternatives To Spanking
Dr. Frick and his team suggest that taking away privileges, assigning extra chores, and applying "time outs" are more effective and useful forms of discipline than spanking.
They also suggest that the key is to be consistent with whatever form of non-hitting discipline that parents choose to apply, and to vary the forms of discipline used according to the age of the child. In general, Dr. Frick has found that assigning a time out is effective for younger children, while taking away privileges like television and toys tends to be effective for older children.
Once children are old enough to understand and communicate with their parents, the key is to provide clear choices when they are behaving inappropriately, and then to make it clear that any discipline that arises is due to them making the wrong choice.
For example, if Johnny hits his mother on her leg with his tennis racket, his mother can say "Johnny, when you hit mommy or anyone else it hurts, so you can either play nicely with your tennis racket, or mommy will have to take it away."
If, after having understood this, Johnny hits his mother or anyone else again, his mother can say "I see from your behavior that you don't want to play with your tennis racket right now," and take the racket away for an appropriate amount of time.

To answer the title of this article, I firmly believe that parents should not spank their children. I wish that every country would follow the examples of Austria, Finland, Germany and Sweden in making it illegal to use corporal punishment at home or in schools.
If parents are not going to spank their children when their children are big and strong enough to physically overpower their parents, it seems to me that choosing to spank them when they are small is somewhat thoughtless, and perhaps even cowardly. I believe that every human being can be thoughtless and cowardly at times, so I am not condemning people who spank their children; I am condemning the act of hitting another human being.

http://drbenkim.com/should-parents-spank-children.html

TripleSix · **^ Top** #2 10.26.2009

They are promoting weakness. Teddy Roosevelt said it best "Speak softly and carry a big stick."

Screaming is a sign of weakness. I always tell MEN that a Real Man should NEVER raise his voice to a woman. A man is supposed to be 'a hiding place from the wind' for his family. The family should feel secure when the Man is there. Do not raise your voice to the woman, especially if you have kids. Why?
1. The first male a little girl knows is her father. She will base her relationship with all males on her experience with her father.
2. Boys should be raised to show honor to women. He will learn from your example not to speak to his mother in a disrespectful tone AND he too will endeavor to be a Real Man with his own family.
Do not scream at your wife. Do not scream at your kids. Speak softly...even when angered.

Be a mountain. 'Let your yes mean YES and your no NO.' When you speak, speak truth.

Discipline:

Every man needs his 4$$ beat one good time. The first person he will try is Mom. Take him out, mom. If you let this guy walk on you, he will continue to walk on you. Today's culture teaches guys to hold women in very low regard, and so he is going to try you first. Dont scream. Ball your fist up and crack him right in the nose. He will learn instantly that no matter how tough he grows up to be that mom does not tolerate any disrespect from her children. No, its not cruel and no, he will not die. You will only have to do it once.

Children should learn responsibility early...the earlier the better. Give them chores. If they do not take care of their responsibility, take away the privileges.

truckermario · **^ Top** #3 10.26.2009

My sister has moved from spanking to "front leaning rests". Basically a push up without the flexing.

soonk · **^ Top** #4 10.26.2009

they should use the Maddox guide to disciplining your child.
[LINK POSTED BY MEMBER] Only Members Can View This Truck Forum Link.
Link does have adult language Beware!!!!

lonewolf4ad · **^ Top** #5 10.26.2009

Like 6 said teach discipline and responsibility early. But also give rewards for good behavior. I am not saying outrageous bs, but simple things with a word of appreciation can mean alot even if the behavior is something that should be expected.

I got whoopings as a kid, I deserved them. The ones I got that I didn't deserve made up for the times I wasn't caught. Personal responsibility is lacking in our culture, and it begins with square 1. the parents

_ton bundle · **^ Top** #6 10.27.2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baack

This poll is based on the reader either being Christian or appreciating Christian standards

I seems the popular thing to do now days is to preserve your child's self esteem
With abuse rampant in some cultures, many feel the hands off approach method is the best
[LINK POSTED BY MEMBER] Only Members Can View This Truck Forum Link.

I am going to include two different thought processes on this subject

Feel free to vote and get involved in the discussion

How did or how are you raising your children?
Would you change anything, on how you did things?
Advice to others struggling with raising their own kids?

Our kids are 11 and 16 and we have never spanked them and I doubt that we will start now. My goal is not for my children to follow a specific set of rules, but for them to make correct choices based on looking at the consequences of those actions. Children can understand reason as soon as they can understand language. We set up strong boundaries for our kids and they know what the consequences are for crossing those boundaries--- BECAUSE WE ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH!!! That's the key. I never had the desire to spank my children and I don't see what purpose that it serves. I never yelled at them either, in fact, they always know that the quieter I speak to them, the more trouble that they are in. Most of the time, 'the look' is all it takes to get them back in line.

I'm happy to say that with one teenager and one pre-teen in the house, we have had only a few, very minor problems and both are happy kids with excellent grades. My 16 year- old says, 'of course I'm gonna get good grades, otherwise I won't get into college.' YES! Look at the consequences! Use foresight! That's exactly what I'm looking for!

All of this is highly influenced by Christianity. To me, God did not give us a set of arbitrary rules to be slaves, but to live happy, healthy, fulfilled lives. 'Sin is destructive' is the spirit of the law.

truckermario · **^ Top** #7 10.27.2009

I'd like to think that after a certain point they get desensitized to butt whoopins and you have to start dealing with them on the more complex levels. To me the thought of spanking a 17-year-old is just absurd.

Carolina Thunder · **^ Top** #8 10.27.2009

My dad used to lay some hard belt straps along my back side when did something wrong and when my grandmother used to tell me to go out and cut a hickory stick down i knew that i was in big trouble! They both made me see that if i did something bad i would pay for it and because of that i have never not once been in trouble with the law, i show respect to those that deserve it and i will raise my 2 sons in the same manner that i was raised!

To many people use religion as a parenting tool. You cant expect to have a child sit in church and learn the word of God and think the threat of eternal damnation along will be enough to keep him or her on the straight and narrow. A parent must be involved with the discipline of that child or they will not know or think about the end results of wrong doing!

If more parents would have spanked their kids when they were young and let them know that there WILL BE repercussions to their actions then the prison system would not be so over crowed today!

DieselManDownSouth · **^ Top** #9 10.27.2009

I got the belt straps from my daddy too Carolina. They were hard but they were deserved and I learned my lessons. My boys are pretty good but it's an ongoing process. Round here a whuppin is a last resort but when needed they get it the same way I got it, with that ol wide leather strap.

TripleSix · **^ Top** #10 10.29.2009

Discipline should not be viewed as punishment, but correction. Sometimes, you can make correction by reasoning and suggestion. Sometimes you have to use strong persuasion, like that old hickory stick. The goal of all of it should be to raise strong (mentally, emotionally, physically strong) children.

But the most important part is that you the parent have to take the lead by your example. Otherwise, everything else will fail.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread:

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Trucker Forum	Replies	Last Post
Obama Wants A Longer School Day And Longer School Year	Mooney	Politics	35	4 Weeks Ago 11.25 PM
Poll-Are kids dumber than kids 40 years ago?	Baack	A Discussion About EVERYTHING	10	11.07.2009 08.57 PM
Jim’s Kids: North Carolina trucker leaves joyful legacy	Cybergal	Spiritual Gardens - Remembrances & Virtual Memorials	1	01.30.2009 08.02 AM
Making kids money savvy	Baack	A Discussion About EVERYTHING	0	03.06.2008 01.55 PM
Study: Food in McDonald's wrapper tastes better to kids	firstcav	News - NON Trucking News	20	08.09.2007 07.51 PM

Truckers' Trucking Forum/Message Board - The Premiere Truck Driver Forum

The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TripleSix For This Useful Post:
GAPrincess (10.27.2009), GuysLady (11.15.2009), lonewolf4ad (10.26.2009)

The Following User Says Thank You to lonewolf4ad For This Useful Post:
goin2fast10 (10.26.2009)

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to _ton bundle For This Useful Post:
GuysLady (11.15.2009), Saint Scott (10.29.2009)

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Carolina Thunder For This Useful Post:
lonewolf4ad (10.27.2009), Mooniac (10.27.2009)

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)