A stressfilled topic, how best to cope?? - Truckers' Trucking Forum

luvmyhubby · **^ Top** #1 01.29.2007

Big sisters, little brothers, black sheep, Dad’s favorite — all the old roles, battles and rivalries resurface when a parent’s health is failing and decisions must be made.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16542396/

Many of us face these issues everyday, the decline of a parents health, how to deal with siblings, doctors, and all the emotions that go with trying to do what is right........it seems there are no right answers

Cybergal · **^ Top** #2 01.29.2007

You posted this article for me didn't you?

YEP! Went thru alot of difficult emotions when my Father died with my dysfunctional family and Iam sure those feelings will still be there when my mom passes, if I don't go before her.

It's amazing how in my family hardly anyone talks to each other till a funeral then it's like....."We should get together some time"....ya right....you never liked me when we were growing up....what has changed!?

theroadagain3 · **^ Top** #3 02.06.2007

Meditation is definitely the best way-at least for me to combat stress. Just go to a dark, quiet room, and focus only on your breath, and slow ur thoughts down. Let all the tension melt away. Unfortunately, it might not b that easy. Meditation takes years and years of practice. I found it arbitrary, and dull at first. Then I came to a point in my life where I really needed to slow my thoughts and my life down. Since then, I basically try to meditate every day, or at least do some yoga, also a great stress reliever, but nothing can help u come back to yourself more than just taking some deep breaths and telling yourself that everything is going to b OK. Life's not a race, don't treat it like one. Sometimes you've got to chill.

Ducks · **^ Top** #4 02.06.2007

There was no squabbling in my family when our parents needed our care. My father passed away 23 years ago and my mother passed on 10 years ago. At the time, I had a full brother and sister, and two living half-brothers. (My half-sister died in 1963.) Neither of my half-siblings lived in the immediate area, so my parents' care fell primarily to my brother, sister, and me.

It's hard to explain -- it wasn't easy, but it wasn't difficult, either. My brother couldn't cope with their decline, but he supported my sister and I while we did the hands-on care. My sister and I took "shifts" -- with Daddy, it meant moving him between our homes until his condition forced us to seek outside assistance. With Mom, it was providing her care in her own apartment, 24/7. We had a hospice nurse check in on us weekly, but we learned how to handle the wound care... IV medications... the bathing and bed care. And it was all done with love and a willing spirit. We were usually exhausted, but went to bed content... knowing that we were able to care for our parents as they had cared for our needs so many years before.

And when they passed on, there was certainly sorrow and grief, but also a sense of peace among us. This peace got us through the disbursement of their possessions and the execution of their wills. There were no hard feelings. No bickering. Just total cooperation and respect for one another.

I was truly blessed.

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