Greetings Drivers! OTRA here to share some exciting improvements we're working on for our fellow drivers! We know you're going to be as excited about these developments as we are.

First; we're kicking around some ideas with America's favorite truck stop, The Flying Pilot, on how to enhance the lives of drivers. Then it occurred to us: Truck Stop Drive-In Movies Theaters! Come in for your ten and enjoy!

Next on the list is an advancement that's sure to tingle the taste buds. Modern food sciences have often been geared toward astronauts. But since the president decided that Obamacare was more important than the hunt for E. T., those advancements in the works had to look for another place to belong. Here we are.

In a multi-venture partnership, we are excited to announce the Taco Bell Patch! When you're at the Flying Pilot you can pick up a sheet of these delectable delights, slap one on your forehead and within moments your mouth will start watering with the irresistible flavors of your favorite Taco Bell treats.

These handy patches will provide Taco Bell goodness to your taste buds while at the same time allowing your body to absorb all the nutritional value that Taco Bell has to offer. But as an added bonus, food scientists have engineered the Taco Bell Patch to delay the diarrhea normally associated with Taco Bell consumption until the end of your shift.

After simulating food, slap on a nicotine patch and simulate your after meal smoke.

On another note: It has come to the attention of OTRA that there seems to be a vast government conspiracy. It seems the fed has mandated that cash registers use a special kind of quick-fading ink. In this case, unless special precaution is taken, our receipts will vanish before we can itemize them for tax breaks. FIGHT THE POWER with OTRA!

Later drivers! And remember, we haul it all; we can put a stop to it all! Be safe.