This has been the worst day in a while. I shoulda stayed in bed at least another 30 minutes. It would have made all the difference.

Actually, yesterday..... On my way to pick up.....we have to call for a "pep talk"; every single load we have to call in so they can read a script to us about how important this load is. So on my way there I call. I ain't gonna sit around waiting for them to answer the phone. It's against company policy to even use a hands-free phone while driving. So, knowing how long it takes them to answer and that I'm pushing it to be on time, I figure when they answer, I'll pull over.

About thirty minutes later she answers. As we get to business she asks me if I'm driving. From now on the answer is "no." Just gotta make sure the volume is off on the GPS or it'll tattle tell on me.
I told her, "I am driving, but pulling over."
"Well call me back when you are someplace safe & legal."
"No, no...I'm stopped. Go ahead."
"You're already stopped? This soon?"
"Yeah, It's just how I roll. I'm good like that."
"Where are you?"
"Shoulder."
"No. You need to find a parking lot or some place like that; safe and legal. Then call me back."
"Uh, no. #1, I'm in the friggin Piny Woods of Texas. There ain't no parking lots here. Second, even if there WERE, I'm not gonna sit in some random parking lot for an hour waiting for y'all to answer the phone. Have a good day."

Today they set me up with a relay from the Houston OC to Dallas. I was at least an hour away, but ok. When I arrive I drop my empty and realize they don't have the trailer number that I'm supposed to pick up. So I call, thinking it was the right thing to do. Hey, trying to get home here. They've squeezed me out of home time a lot lately.

So after several minutes they tell me they are just going to remove this load and give me something else. A couple hours later it arrives.

Baytown Wal-mart DC to Weird-Name-Town, Louisiana. So I call back.

"There must be some kinda mistake. See, I'm supposed to be heading home. Louisiana, though very lovely this time o year, is the WRONG FRIGGIN DIRECTION!" (ok, I may NOT have said it that way. Maybe I did. I dunno, I'm on anti-psychotics.) Anyway, "Look I'm on a specified tour and we generally run back-n-fourth. Usually when I'm in this area they have me pick up here and go here which basically takes me right to my front door so I'm ready for the next weeks load. So is that available?"

"I see. Let me check with the planner." I bet all these fuggers sit right next to each other all night and just change hats for each others calls. "Naw Bill, he's gotta take that load because I'm headin out fer a smoke! .... Oh, and a cookie. And a big gulp."
He comes back with, "we really need you to pick up this load cause it's due by 0520."

Lack of failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

Against my better judgment, I press on. I pick it up and head to lovely Louisiana. Being almost seven, I call my wife. I love her.

A few minutes later I'm sittin at the Flying J with my DBL on the phone. "Look my man, Louisiana....."
Him: "WTF?"
Me: "DUDE!"
Him: "Aiight. Cool it, dawg."

Maybe it sounded more human than that. But anyway; Especially since Road Check is goin on and I gotsta hit the scales and could get picked for a random inspection and I have an outstanding ticket in Louisiana....... Bad day there.

Anyway, he had me back at the OC to drop for a relay. That was nice.

What wasn't nice was what he set me up with began with "P/U mt" from the OC. That is never a happy idea.
Again it proved true. I grabbed an mt and, as usual the computer said it was unavailable. After a while of going back-n-fourth on this matter I went in and had a DBL assign it to me so I could get out the gate.

The gate keeper came over the speaker and said, "I see an open work order on that trailer. You'll need to go to the shop first before I can let you out." BAAAAHAAHAAAsheet

After about another 45 minutes and four trailers later they let me go.

Took a couple hours to load, no chance of making Dallas today. Knowing my DBL was at lunch, I message him to let him know I won't make the 2300 delivery time.

At 1500 I see new preassignments built on the idea I would be in Dallas. I call my DBL and get support. Odd.

I tell them the Ft. worth run is not doable because it will run me out of hours before I get home. Long story short: "This is set up as a line to get you home."

"Yeah, assuming I was in Dallas. I'm not. That won't get me home."
"Where are you? Houston? Yeah, that could be a problem. Well, after you drop this load call your DBL and see what he wants you to do."

"When I drop this he will still be asleep."
"Yeah, that could be a problem too. Just go on to Ft. Worth and call him from there."

I would like to make a lot of comments about how ludicrous this all is, but...... I overdosed on happy pills. So now I just sit here and laugh.

I wait a bit and send a message that I am refusing this load on grounds of stupidity.... Or something like that.

A couple minutes later my DBL finally returns my call. When I explain what's going on he says, "Well you can't go to Ft. Worth. Call them back and..... Blah, blah, blah...... Nevermind. I'll call them."

Soon I get a reply message that my loads are planned as best as can. Sorry I'll be late getting home.

I immediately reply, "negative....blah, blah....stupid incompetence..... Blah blah....ignert goat turd....blah...yo momma...."

A Lil while later the assignment was withdrawn. I think it was the "ignert goat turd" remark, but it could be that my DBL called.

So now there are fluffy bunnies and rainbow gum drops here at the Flying J.