REMARKS BY THE PRESIDENT TO LOG CABIN REPUBLICANS AT THEIR WEEKLY INTERSTATE 95 REST AREA GATHERING
Address by the President to Conservative Sodomites

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. I'm very uncomfortably honored to be addressing you people of the Log Cabin Republicans here at the Exit 17 Rest Area - a place which I'm told is so intimately significant to you all. You know, when I first received your invitation, I thought you were all just really big fans of pancake syrup, and that we would be having one hell of a buffet breakfast. Since agreeing to appear here however, I have learned that you are, in fact, a coalition of G.O.P. homos, who while ignored and marginalized to within a hair of non-existence, nevertheless still toe the party line like the snarling and perfectly coiffed poodle boys that you are. For that, I'd like to thank your parents, for instilling in you just enough self-loathing to enjoy getting dumped on. (Snickers.) What? What's so funny?
Anyway, I can't tell you how surprised Karl Rove was when I told him this is where I was going this morning. As I was climbing into my limousine, he asked, "Where you headed, Prez?" And I said, "To go collect donations from a couple hundred hellbound sodomites at the Log Cabin Republican breakfast." To which a shocked and dismayed Karl responded, "A breakfast? I thought they only did those great after-hours parties in the cellar of the Arlington Ground Round!" He was downright heartbroken I hadn't asked him to come along. But he gave me this hundred dollar bill, and made me promise that when the Chippendales start serving coffee later, I will tuck it somewhere appropriately dark and warm on his behalf.
You know, until a few days ago, I couldn't figure out why it is that you people worship me the way you do. I kept asking myself, is it because my advisors in the Presidential Prayer Platoon condemn all of you to an eternity of being tortured by Satan in a non-metaphorical lake of fire? No, that couldn't be it. Is it because we firmly believe that all of you secretly use your taxpayer-financed vacation time to travel to Africa and have sex with monkeys? No, I don't think so. Or is it because I advocate the fiscally disastrous tax cuts which will put a few measly extra bucks in your rubber pants pockets, and allow you to buy a bigger bottle of Giorgio Armani bath oil for your next hot tub orgy? Well, that might play in to it somewhat, but in the end, I have to accept that most of my appeal for you people is a direct result of my spectacularly muscular ###. I mean, I'm not blind. I know there aren't any other 55 year-old alcoholics running seven minute miles in Washington DC. Just look at this body. (Flexes.) And look at this ###. (Points.) Pure ripped power. Hell - I can shell a 20 oz. can of whole walnuts with these cheeks. Which is all to say, I understand why you support me, and while I remain profoundly revolted by every cell in your bodies, I am nevertheless willing to appear here today, pretend to not fear and despise you, and rack up your votes come November. (Applause.) And on that note, I need to wrap up. I made a deal with the Christian Coalition that if I limited my remarks here to under 10 minutes, then promptly fled the scene to sign legislation prohibiting you people from using public water fountains, that they would refrain from launching a devastating smear campaign against me. And it's been nine minutes. So please - make your checks payable to "Bush/Cheney 2004." Candace Gingrich will be around to collect them later. Thank you all, and may God Bless if you ever decide to give up your wholly voluntary lifestyle of sickening depravity which guarantees that you will burn in hell forever.

__________________
Proud Supporter Of: St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

Don't you just love tolerant people.

Always worried about what other people are doing.

So much for the family values of the GOP.....lol

Wow...Another blatently homophobic slur of a post from a republican ..

What a suprise..

I always thought the gay republicans were idiots myself...I mean, look who they allign themselves with, the people who hate them..But like most gay republicans they are self loathing "creatures".

Aparently,they can look past the hateful policies of the republican party and find a shred of something decent in them which they identify with..

I think they need help myself,I think it stems from a false belief that the racists and degenerates in the republican party will look past their "immorality" and accept them because they too are against civil rights..kinda like a "stockholm syndrome" thing..

I think you people cause a lot more trouble than you are worth..A lot more..You stand in the way of all that is decent and right,things like equality, justice for FOR ALL..

Normal Americans have been battling this mindset for decades, and you can rest assured these people who attack gays are the same types that lynched black people years ago..

They always seem to come from the same part of the country too..The 'smart' part..

They stand as reminder to the rest of the world, that while the US may appear to be for civil rights around the globe ,we still have a long way to go battling the ignorant amonst us..A long way to go..

Here something for all you insecure guys, who feel that slamming gays re-affirms your rather shakey masculinity..

[LINK POSTED BY MEMBER] Only Members Can View This Truck Forum Link.

PS.. Arrest records indicate the rest area's and public restrooms are a favorite haunt of closted gay republicans/truckers, who very often turn out to be married with children...

Because of the legisation they write and support , there is no way they could be seen in the gay community, so they haunt dimly lit bathrooms amid the sewage ..Where they belong..

lol...Yes you all know how much of a Republican i am.

__________________
Proud Supporter Of: St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

I don't know..I haven't been on here long enough to become familair with everyones affiliation...

It seemed like something a republican might post..

What party do you belong to that encourages this type of tripe?