Alright ya'll. I've been pretty good about everything so far. My husband being on the road for seven weeks at a time, and home for only seven days. My 18 month old son gets to see his daddy for SEVEN days...but have I complained or cried? No...Well...maybe at night yes. But not to my husband. I know that would only make his job harder.
I've been understanding about all sorts of crazy things, such as: his mood swings, not calling, taking up smoking again, wanting all sorts of "must-haves" for his truck, and the list goes on.
Here's where I'm getting upset...and yes, I know it's something we all struggle with.....MONEY. I don't like the fact that we're going through all this for about 1200 a month. What REALLY upsets me is that the amount is so small because of my husband! He's an 'advance hog'. I can't imagine what it's like out there, but c'mon. When you have a fridge, a cooker, and you actually LIKE eating pb&j sandwiches, what kinds of things do you need that would involve $75 dollar advances once, sometimes twice, a week? (Please don't postulate that he's using the money for sexual reasons....he values his marriage, and his life)
I'm angry because I know that when he gets money in his account he takes it all out, and then with money burning in his pocket he buys energy drinks or eats at pizza hut, and then when it's time to go grocery shopping he has no money, so he has to get an advance. Well that's money that my son and I have to use for LIVING expenses....not frivolities like eating out everyday...but for diapers and milk. C'mon.
Am I over-reacting? I know I'm venting way too much, but at least I know that ya'll will be honest with me. It's hard to tell all this to my husband without sounding like a screeching shrew, and possibly distracting him while he's working. I don't want to do that. Ugh. Please help. Thanks

IMO, you HAVE to discuss this with him. Especially when you say it's taking away from you and your sons ability to live.

Not trying to sound too harsh, but $1200 a month and he's out for 7 weeks at a time? I would say something HAS to change....BOL to you.

he sounds as bad as myself with money,
i haven't gone out yet but i have always in the past let my wife
handle all the bills (i suck with money except spending it)
and will continue to do so. i plan on hitting the dollAr general before i go to training to hep ease food costs but there are some GOOD healthy eating threads here worth following

Running that hard the figure should be three times that much.

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I am sorry first that your having this issue, it seems to be one that a lot of families suffer thru when daddy is out on the road. It really is something that you are going to have to talk to him about, WHEN he not driving down the road, wait till he is done for the day. IF you fear he will get angry simply bring it up as a lets get on a budget type of conversation not the YOU spend to darn much money fight.

IT is hard out there but, he shouldnt have to spend more than 100.00 a week on food (eatting out) drinks etc. IF he is having a hard time restocking the truck once he is on the road, tell him where the walmart is on his route (most are open 24 hrs) so he can get supplies.....it might just be a matter of his ability to manage his time too.....run hard, get stopped, be dog tired and run in to grab a bite rather than cook in truck. You need to stock the truck when he is home, that way you know for at least 2 weeks he shouldnt have to eat out very much.

Your right not to start the conversation while he is driving, but since he is out so long you need to learn how to have your relationship and do it over the phone. His job should not take away from you or your sons needs either. Good luck and I hope together you 2 can find away to make things work, AND I agree being out 7 weeks he should be making way more money.

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LuvMyHubby

I've tied a knot in my rope and I am hangin on!

Ok first of all, he needs to change companies.....


7 weeks at 1200 a month.... I assume this is take home, which with everything taken out might be in the area of $575 a week before the advances....


$575/.30-mile = right around 2000 miles a week....


I dont have kids but I am married, we do not hurt for $$$ even if I did not make $$$, but that being said, I keep my expenses to $100 a week or less. And usually once every 2 weeks I stop at a walmart and spend $60-100. so possibly $150 a week in expenses.....I eat mostly out of the truck, but a few times a week sit down for a meal.

IDK if i had a kid and wife to feed at home, I would be a little more careful about what I ate and spent....



K

Is $1200.00 what he has actually given you in 4 weeks? If yes
then he really made $1500.00 (the cash advances are coming out of his bring home money) I still believe that is low income if he "is" running. But I wanted to add for the others she probably is only looking at what he is giving her ; add in the advances. If he is smoking that adds where some of the 75.00 he is spending (depends on how much, I spend # least 50.00 a week in cig )(I KNOW I KNOW). If he is drinking energy drinks and pop, he can spend # least 20.00 in that stuff alone. I am not taking sides by any means (I wonder about my man and he is home) but smoking and pop and boredom makes you spend more money! Does he need to control it "Yeah" take the advice above it sounds the best. But do remember he is going different states things are higher every where. Suggest on getting Cigarrettes in Kentucky (stock up). Catch the energy drink he likes on sale and stock him up (this can help you see where the money is going and he can't use that as an exscuse). Make sure he doesn't enjoy gambling, I "hear" they have gambling machines at the truck stops in some places and I heard a driver talking about spending his money on them.
Good luck but most of all wait at least until he is getting ready to take his break (10 hours I HOPE) and talk to him or try when he has a day off, but don't let it build and build, maybe there will be a legit reason and he can ease your mind and you both will "live happily ever after"

It is very easy to do. Everything is expensive in truck stops and food can easily go $40 a day if he eats all meals in the truck stop. If he is new to trucking it's a trap that is all too easy to fall into. There was a time when I brought home almost nothing but I lived on the road so I spent on the road and I didn't have family then. All the little goodies and "must haves" for the truck are hard to pass up sometimes. I know I have an expensive cb habit trust me. He has to learn to keep that drivers door shut and go make the money. Expecially since he has you at home. He can't be spending all that plus expect you to stick around while he's gone 7 weeks. ANd that's another thing. I don't know any company that makes someone stay out 7 weeks. If he's staying out 7 weeks it's because he wants to in most cases. Even the bad companies usually let you go home once a month. There is always exceptions though.
Try this. Being a truck driver he should be keepiung reciepts for EVERYTHING. he will get more expenses this way for tax deductions than you get for the standard deduction. You take control off the book keeping and you tell him he has to bring you EVERY reciept home for EVERYTHING. then you can do the calculations. If the figures add up then you know where it's going, if not then you have something to discuss with him. I'm not about to say anything bad like I'm thinking as I don't know you or him but I will tell you some guys do go into trucking to get away. Trucking is hard on families. I stoped OTR for years when my son was born. I have only gone back becuase of money problems so I feel ya. Hope all works out. either way you have to tell him it's got to stop.

Valarie: Is everything ok? I am just wondering how you are doing, please check in with us

YOU all had really great ideas and important issues to address to Valerie.
All I can Add is...Valerie I sure hope you and your family can work this situation out.

I know it's not easy....Please let us know how you all are doing.

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