Whenever someone asked me if they should become a driver I always told them no. I would ask them how strong they thought their marriage was and if they felt their spouse was capable of being a single mother (or Father) for most of the year. Did they have enough faith to trust each other for long periods of separation, and if not, how would they feel making support payments while their children called somebody else Daddy.
How do they feel about missing every single one of their kids ball games? Will their spouse be up to keeping the household from falling to pieces by themselves? Finally I asked them if they realized they were sacrificing all they got married for? Trucking is s family job. Let one spouse not be able to hold up their end and all will come to naught. I've seen many men sit and cry because they weren't there when their family needed them. I was in Jersey when I got the call that my Father was dying. I busted my hump to get back to Indiana but my Daughter called me as I was just entering Ohio. He was gone and I wasn't there. There are no do-overs in trucking. Miss one of life's moments and it's gone for good. You can't blame your Spouse for thinking the worst is happening while your on the road. Sit and listen at the truckstop to all the B.S. flying around. Everybody embellishes their lives, truckers have more time to think up great stories, true or not. If you decide to start trucking anyway, remember, all they told you to take the job is out the window. There will be no guaranteed weekends home, thats just a pipedream. You will not make $60,000 the first year. The guy on their payroll who did, never goes home. There is no load waiting for you coming back to the house. They gave that load to some guy who lives the opposite way also. You are not going to be a Knight of the Road, your a steering wheel holder. The first thing you do after talking to the recruiter is go talk to a driver.

That is unless they find a local job.

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Z-Lady's devoted hubby.

I have missed a lot being on the road, but at the same time, I have deployed in the military and not seen my family for a year. Different jobs require different sacrifices. My self if I can't trust my spouse when I am not home. Then I don't need a spouse. I am not going to second guess what goes on when the wheels are turning. I always had a good communication link with my spouse. She knows me and I know her. Trust is mandatory. My wife can deal and relate to the job. I did not put my wife in a position to not be able to function with out me. What happens if I did and I die? Will she be able to handle all the adjustments to get by in this world? The kids are the ones that pay the price with trucking. That is one of the hardest things to adjust to. There are companies that get you home weekly. Not everyone is forced to be a road gypsy.

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My childhood dream of becoming a truck driver turned into a nightmare!

Kids grown, Parents dead, spouse married 12 years, very self sufficent Correctional Officer herself, current job shift work, her 8-4 me 4-12, I think I seen her(awake) 3 times this month.

----VS-----

1 year or so from now running otr with her as a team. The Chihuahua's a little pissed didn't get to mark every firehydrant at last stop. Sorry, I'm not seeing to much of a drawback here.

I'm not making fun of the initial poster who made some seriously valid points, points I'm sure some had not considered. Just in my case it sounded like, "So what else is new?"

OTR trucking is not just a job, it's a way of life. I can remember when I was just wetting my feet in this business an old timer told me " son trucking will ruin a good women", true words and words of wisdom. Being gone away from home for 5 days at a time will put a terrible strain on all of your relationships, esspecially the one with your mate. It takes a strong women to run a household while her man is gone. Manage bills, discipline kids, keep house clean, keep up maintenence on cars, deal with teachers at school and whatever else pops up during the time you're gone and in alot of cases still work a fulltime job. Luckily I've never had to be in a situation where I was expected to be away from my family for more than 5 days at a time. I now own my own and go home whenever I want too. I try to plan my trips around special occasions and holidays. Life can be tough even when you are with loved ones on a daily basis, and not being able to see someone you love will put alot of strain on the relationship. Most of us will never quite understand how our absence affects the lives of the ones we love until its to late. It takes a different breed of man or woman to be OTR truckers and sometimes no matter how hard you try to make your loved ones understand the sacrefices you make for them, all they know is that when they needed you or wanted you that you were not there. No amount of money can replace time missed.

A woman's point of view...I hear it all the time, whine whine whine, whatever happened to team work, communication, trust and dedication? OTR is what you and the person you share your life with make of it.

I am at home, running 2 business, taking care of my ailing father and my marriage is stronger than ever. It's not trucking that destroys relationships, its the people in them.

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LuvMyHubby

I've tied a knot in my rope and I am hangin on!

This illustrates one of the unfortunate things about today's world. Marriage isn't held in the high regard that it used to be, thanks in large part to the Oprahs and the Rosies of the world going around saying that it's "outdated".

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Z-Lady's devoted hubby.

While I'm sure truckers miss a good deal of their homelife due to their profession, they are not alone. I've worked with executives that travel extensively, and often not at their own choosing. Similarly, my brother-in-law is a township roadmaster and also runs with a local volunteer fire company. Between his job and his time at the fire company, he's rarely home. (They have no children, and my sister has adapted quite well to his absences.)

Where children are involved, there are ways for the at-home parent to keep the OTR parent "present" during his/her absence. It just takes a little thought and effort. Pictures, stories, and just talking about the absent parent can keep serve as constant reminders to keep him active in a child's life. (And this works both ways in keeping the OTR parent current in their children's lives.)

I agree with luv -- if both spouses are willing to make the effort, the marriage can be successful. And truth be told? That holds true for just about all marriages, not just for truckers'.

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I am glad there are other real women out there, like my wife, that understand the "INDUSTRY"!!!
GOOD FOR YOU!

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WHOOP WHOOP WHOOPN!!!

No children here to worry about. My wife works 7am till 2pm and I work 2:30 pm till 11pm, and we just see each other on weekends...even less during deer hunting season Been that way for the 16 years that we've been happily married. We completely trust each other, and she can certainally handle things on the home front while i'm on the road. Actually, we will probably be able to see more of each other, because she will be able to ride along with me after I get one year of safe driving behind me. And because i'm only going to drive truck OTR because it's something that i've always wanted to do, and to supplement a pension that I will be getting from my current job, I can just walk away and try something else if it doesn't work out.