OMFG!! Man, that was insanely funny. I still can't stop laugh--

Whoops! I laughed so hard I soiled myself. Oh, well, I can always apply as a Werner trainer...!

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No load is worth your life. Or anyone else's.

Don't be exploited--DRIVE LTL!!

This post should be added to the "trucker jokes" page by all mean's, hand's down.

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"I'm not a truck driver. I'm a non refrigerated load relocation engineer".

No way this belongs on the jokes page, because I am sure every word is true, so help me. But the story leaves out the punch line.

When you're driving team, trainer-student, and you keep that truck rolling, guess what? YOU HAVE TO SHARE THE SAME BOTTOM BUNK!

By law, you cannot sleep in the top bunk while the truck is moving, and the student is always assigned the top bunk. Now I did TRY to sleep up there and cram myself in (I'm tall) so I wouldn't fall out. But no, I couldn't get a wink of sleep really.

So BOTH of you are supposed to sleep in the same bunk. Now you bring your own sheets, blanket - FORGET it, you're not makin' the bed when you want to fall into it!

Solution: Sleeping bag.

Problem: Even with your own sleeping bag, if the trainer is a porker, you still have to try to plug your nose from the whiffy atmosphere.

Okay - I want to hear what this driver did to get some sleep down below in the devil's den.

Dude...you got spell check?

Some pretty funny stuff. Reminds me of a story a former student of mine told me. He trained at Werner for a few weeks. He told me that he was with a Werner trainer for twenty days in a row. In that twenty days he did not take a shower or stop to eat once. I told him, " Come on now, he had to eat." He said he did, he just plopped a big ol' bag of cheese doodles on the dash and munched away. That is all the guy ate, orange cheese doodles, all day, everyday. Cheese doodles and Mountain Dew, the cornerstone of every nutritious diet. He said the whole truck was covered in orange crumbs. The steering wheel and shifter were the worst. Finally he had enough and jumped out when they stopped to get fuel. He took a cab to a bus station and then a bus back home. Then he came to Roehl and had to do the whole training thing over again. At least I stopped to shower and eat though.

Thanks for your kind words. Hopefully things might get better. Boy it's a good thing I will be making a whole .26 a mile. This will offset my bad trainers and after food and road expenses I think I'll buy a yatch or maybe a helicopter and you are ALL invited on a cruise to the French Riviera!

Y'all are just too much....I work at a truck stop....pretty sure I've met this gut...or his Doppelganger...

Sorry....guy...

This all really happened and I am trying to put it behind me but I will answer your question.
Luckily for me, since he was a big shot old timer, the dispatcher gave us the gravy. We had plenty of time and we ended up sleeping at the same time most of the time. When we had to rescue a load and drive team I would make sure the velcro curtain was secured and I would throw his nasty pillows to the foot of the bunk where I freshened them with my dirty feet. He had a bed made up with extra blankets, so I formed a protective layer by folding his bedsheets back over and covering them with the extra blankets then climbing in my sleepeng bag for a thind layer of protection. I would protect my head by laying my jacket down first with the outside facing down. Even with all of this protection I still got the wiff of funk so I would make sure both outside vents were open. There is a science to this. One vent must be open to the front to force ram air into the sleeper, and the other one must be opened to the rear of the sleeper creating a low pressure area. The combination created a constant cross airflow drawing the funk outside. I felt sort of bad for stepping on his pillows but after awhile I figured with all of the sensory and verbal assaults I had endured, it was the least I could do. I often wonder if he got so used to my stinky feet on his pillows that maybe he began to assosiate sleep with the odor of my feet. If so, I should send him a pair of my dirty socks so he can get a good nights rest again! Hardy har mate! Hoist that scurvy dog from the yard arm! I digress... There WERE times when I would skip sleep because of possible dookie contamination. Luckily for me I figured out that "I got in a fight with my bed last night" might be code word for "I crapped myself more than just my britches last night" and as a precaution I would sleep in the passenger seat the best I could until he changed his bedding. If he wasn't such a jerk I would feel sorry for him because he is quickly turning into a feeble old man and his glory days are clearly way behind him, but I caught him making up lies about me to other people probly as to discredit me if I ever told about his unsanitary hygene.
Weird head games. Weird guy.

And thats why I told him:

later_dude

WTF I run local and when I fuel I get vouchers for showers, I am home daily and do not use them, what do these guys(slobs) do with them? There is no reason they can't take 20min and get a shower. There is no $%##&* way I would train with someone like that, and after 20yrs on the road any co. that thinks I need 4wks training can stuff it where the sun don't shine! I feel sorry for the new drivers that get analily raped by these loser co.'s.I am glad I got the job I got 'cause I could not deal with tha kind of ####. You will never see JB, Warner, Swift etc,etc on any of my pay stubs. BTW, funniest thread in a long time, I am with the others you are missing your true calling