TruckPunk...

Discussion in 'Road Stories' started by TruckPunk, Feb 16, 2012.

  1. TruckPunk

    TruckPunk Bobtail Member

    1
    2
    Feb 16, 2012
    Portland, OR
    0
    MyOl’ Post: 021512 – This Week Sucked

    It had been a brutal week…wave after wave of unpredictable nonsense was pounding the shores of our resolve. Life’s Major League star pitcher was throwing curve balls right over home plate…and us, avid sports haters. We were pummeled for seven days – a week which sucked, STILL sucks, and sucked the life right out of us.
    Pouring a large, much needed goblet to the rim with two dollar merlot, I rolled into an acapella rendition of The Fiends ‘This Week Sucked’ from their horrendously absurd Gynecology LP…What of it?? When you have as many records as we do, it’s inevitable you have turds in the mix. Anyway, Jen was unfamiliar with the novelty number, so I figured on …”enlightening” her to the malodorous ode to crappy days.
    Karloff’s Frankenstein Monster looked down in an eternal, solemn gaze – plastered to the backboard of the stereo cabinet. Unflinching, his eyes peeked from heavy lids as I placed the slab of wannabe L.A. ####-Rock wax upon the slip mat. Flicking on the power, the Stanton SRT8-60’s operational lights cast their subtle blue glow across the surface of the vinyl…but there was no motion. The Fiends disc lay still beneath the needle – zero revolutions per minute.
    Like a confused dog nudging the hand of its dead Master, I pushed the wheel of steel to and fro – back and forth generating a slow motion D.J. scratch…as if to give the machine some form of stereophonic C.P.R.
    I panicked – freaked out – my mind raced with denial as I sorted through potential options and mechanical cures. Recollections flashed…P.O.V. pictures of my days of youth…disassembling record players…replacing snapped belts with those thick blue rubber bands used to bunch together asparagus.
    Yeah!! Snapped belt! That’s gotta be it…
    I scrambled to the garage and returned with an assortment of screwdrivers and began the exploratory surgery to access the Stanton’s inner workings. I backed out a four-count of machine screws before it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks…
    This is a ###### direct-drive!
    I don’t take this kinda #### well. In a hail of “F”-Bombs, I returned the STR8-60 to its previous state – intact and, inoperable. Then I jumped on our outdated, pink flip phone and began the process of pricing repairs versus replacement - because there was no other option…our household cannot function without the airborne warmth of vinyl’s sweet presence.
    So, say “Hello” to AT-LP120-USB…state of the art, Audio-Technica direct-drive turntable with a cornucopia of bells and whistles which have absolutely no interest to me! Just under three bills, this reasonably priced floor model was, more importantly, compatible with the old Stanton hard cover lid – which is slathered in kick-### stickers…
    Soon, we will be holding a burial for the STR8-60, polluting the soil with its plastic hull and worn out guts. It’s going to be rough on us – the Stanton was like a member of the family. We shared laughs with The Meatmen, shoved each other around with Negative Approach, enjoyed the holidays with ‘The Six Million Dollar Man Christmas’ album, had ####tails with Tommy Dorsey, air drummed with Rush, and even contemplated overdosing on pharmaceuticals with Flipper’s ‘Brainwash’.
    The grieving process is a slow one, but we’re recovering…helped along by the return of music. We’ve learned a few things since our Stanton died – like 33 RPM + 45 RPM = 78 RPM…who knew? We also learned to never take one’s turntable for granted…treasure it, adore it, take it to the park, or to its favorite restaurant. And remember to say “I Love You” often.
    Yeah…that week sucked. And since we can spin records again – we realize The Fiends suck too.
     
    Otrmama and allniter Thank this.
  2. Truckers Report Jobs

    Trucking Jobs in 30 seconds

    Every month 400 people find a job with the help of TruckersReport.

  3. Bill104

    Bill104 <b>Pepsiholic</b>

    719
    769
    Dec 27, 2011
    Sacramento,Ca
    0
    So what are you trying to say here. It makes little sence ?.
     
  4. Tardis

    Tardis Light Load Member

    211
    118
    Nov 6, 2011
    banned or retired
    0
    TTR has just been punk'd
     
    Hammer166 and 123456 Thank this.
  • Truckers Report Jobs

    Trucking Jobs in 30 seconds

    Every month 400 people find a job with the help of TruckersReport.