yes, please don't think that, just trying to give ya some other angles to look at it from.

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tip for new truckers: to err is human, to forgive is not D.O.T. policy.
"i've been working all week, and i'm tired and i dont wanna sleep and i wanna have fun... it's time for a good time!!!!" alan jackson

I understand your frustration and exhaustion, PackRat. You've probably spent most of your marriage caring for and nurturing her, worrying about her, and trying to keep your lives running as smoothly as possible amidst the unpredictability of her mood swings.

It can be an overwhelming task for one person, and as I read and re-read your subsequent posts, I'm wondering if you're simply weary from it all. Frustrated and worn out. Is there any chance you can take a break from EVERYTHING during her current hospitalization? Take a few days off work... go someplace you enjoy or just savor the peace and quiet of being home alone... force the current crisis out of your head. Allow yourself time to do things that bring you pleasure. Dream a little. Nurture yourself -- body and spirit.

All things considered, maybe that's what you need to do at this time. Replenish yourself so that you can continue to help her in whatever way possible -- regardless of whether you remain together or separate.

Hugs, PackRat. Stay strong.

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You are in my prayers. Your post has touched my heart and I feel your pain. You have been given some great advice. If your wife needs a friend, I would be honored. Will help in any way I can. Been told I'm a good listener and very patient. Maybe someone to help with the burden can save your marriage.

Big hugs to the both of you.

Cher

Dude I'm sorry! I know how bad it would affect me if I were in your shoes.

She needs counseling!!

I understand a wee bit of this, my wife was horribly abused by her dad in her early teen years. She hasn't cost me in medical bills, but I understand the mood swings etc.

I would suggest christian based counseling, it doesn't have to be the bible thumping kind, or the brain washing kind. It made a HUGE difference in my wife and she is glad that she finally did it. One thing to remember with that, is that the emotional pain will get far worse than it is now during the counseling, but once on the other side the emotional pain and damage will be far less.


Dude PM me if you feel like it and I'll see if I can help you find a counselor from the pool of churches that my wife found. There is no pressure to join any church, and there is none of the modern day physco bable that some counselors would use.

Once again I kinda feel your pain and hope you guys can pull thru with out a divorce.

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I know she needs counseling and she's getting that, but I can't afford a $600+ bill every time she has a panic attack. And the worst part is she won't give me or my family a chance to help her come down from one, she heads straight for the hospital. This will be the third, you do the math, and that's not counting the copay bills she's been racking up since she's been out of work. She'll need some long term care and I just can't afford it on my pay.

I'm not doing this to be mean or so I can go play around. I do love my wife, I just cannot afford the treatment she'll need in the future. She understands this and understands my frustrations. Part of the problem may be that she wasn't as ready for marriage as she thought she was and that was stressing her out, as well as the miscarriage last year.

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We have a place called Lifeways up here that does free christian based counseling to those who can't pay.

Iam wondering if you might have something like this in your area?
I found them for a friend of mine by calling a church and talking with a pastor who put me onto this place.

It's just a thought I would share with ya.


I can understand how your wife must have felt about her miscarriage.
I have had two of those in my life. My husband took this as bad as I did. We've resolved to the fact that we can't have our own children but certainly can adopt if we want. YOU can't explain why these things happen, they just do, and you move on!

Packrat it sounds like you need someone yourself to talk with.
Iam available if you want to talk on the phone.

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What a very difficult situation to be put in!
Having lost a child there is no way (unless it has happened to you) that anyone can understand that grief, maybe she needs help dealing with that issue and then the others wont be so bad? I know I dont have the answers, but you and your wife are in my prayers and I hope you can find a solution that will get your wife better, no matter what it might be.

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LuvMyHubby
PROUD Mom of an enlisted man currently in Iraq
"The Truckers Report..helping newbies avoid the shams and scams, providing support for driver families and just a GREAT place to hang out,laugh and learn!"

Nothing is written in stone yet. I do think we'll probably separate because deep down I feel she probably wasn't as ready for marriage as she thought she was, or that she felt getting married would help her cope with the problems she had and it only compounded them. I think she was desparate that we would wind up hating her if she admitted she felt she made a mistake and that she's been trying to run from her problems. Keep in mind that there is an age difference between us. She's 24.

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To add more fuel to the fire, I came across the paperwork they gave her when she was released the first time from the mental hospital. I was cleaning out the van, something I do periodically since she never does and came across it. As I read through it, I came across something I wasn't expecting. She admitted to the doctors to occasionally using narcotics, namely marijuana and the last time she smoked was the week prior. Now she is well aware of my position on drug use and she told me that she didn't take any illegal drugs. Now I have to wonder what ELSE she's lied to me about.

The paperwork also indicated that she had contemplated suicide ever since the miscarriage. If I hadn't been present for the doctors visit that confirmed she miscarried, I'd be suspicious that she was ever pregnant to begin with.

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I have felt your pain my friend my x wife was manic depressive,suicidal and everything else that goes with it. Of course i didnt know this when i met her or i would have never got involved with her. Her physco doctor had her on zanix, lithium and all kind of other junk and this only made her worse and gave her something else to try to kill herself with. these people do not get better they only get worse and i was dumb enough to put up with it for 12 years and dealt with it every way i possibly i could with hopes that she would pull through it. She had all same problems lieing about everything, drugs, stealing jewlery off her patients that died in the hospital, stealing drugs from the hospital and eventually getting arrested for abusing a patient. This was the day i made the decision i had to get away from this to keep my sanity. At that point it wasnt even hard leave in fact once i made that decision i felt so releived i was happy. I gave her everything and left with my clothes and my trucking business. I started over and have never been happier. im not saying that leaving is the best thing to do in your situation, but it was for me. It wasnt about money for me either i had plenty of it back then because there used to be a much bigger profit margin in truckin. But i had to think about myself at that point and my only regret is that i didnt do it sooner. im sure this hasnt helped any but i wanted to let you know that you are not the only person with this problem. And i do know you are totaly stressed not knowing what to do or whats going to happen next. Good luck i hope everything works out for ya.

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RoadRocket