i have went on ever parenting websites and read as many books as my poor eyeballs can handle but i can't seem to get my 21 month old to take a nap or go to sleep at a decent hour of the night and i was wondering if anyone had any tips or tricks that i could use. this is my first child and i am beginning to be a little overwhelmed. i am about ready to pull all my hair out. ppppppppppllllllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeee eee help me

My first child would only sleep for about 4 hours a night. Yes, that was a toughie. I would walk with him or rock him, and finally I just let him play, til he fell asleep. They say you put them in the crib and allow them to arrange it til they fall asleep.....but then they cry and it breaks your heart so you go get them and comfort them, and then they learn how to manipulate you......I am so glad my sons are grown...lol!

i think that is the toughest part is having to hear her cry. I am trying the 15 min method. when she starts to cry i time 15 mins before i go in there and get her. her daddy is easier manipulated and gives up a lot faster. but she won't take a nap during the day and when she finally goes to sleep she will wake up a couple hour later and want to play till 2 in the morning. i am exausted. we didn't have this much trouble with her when she was a new born. i want to go to all those doctors and authors and say "why now?"

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I'm the daughter of a trucker and darn proud of it too. now what!!!
this is my daddy ain't he handsome with his grand baby

That is rough, and they will tell you to do exactly what you are doing. Is she cutting molar teeth? Have you been able to get her outside in the fresh air everyday? Sometimes taking them for a walk in the early evening will help make them sleepier.

As a mom and a daycare provider first you should know that what your trying to do is the right thing. My question would be how are you setting yourself and your daughter up for success?

Do you have the same routine every night when it is bedtime? If not you need to..
Do you talk to her when you go in after 15 minutes? If you are, dont, lay her down give her the comfort item of her choice and leave the room, I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS..... BUT if you go get her after 15 minutes your just teaching her to cry and that you will come get her. You have to walk in the room lay her back down and leave again.....

All kids adjust to new routines differently, go with your heart and it will all work out in the end.

I used to feel awful about putting my codyman down at night so we would do the bath, snack and tuck in routine the same way everynight, he became used to it and finally accepted it. I also put a tv and vcr in his room and let him watch one movie LION KING was HUGE for him, to this day he will turn on a movie at bedtime and fall right to sleep....he will be 11 this month.

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LuvMyHubby
PROUD Mom of an enlisted man currently in Iraq
"The Truckers Report..helping newbies avoid the shams and scams, providing support for driver families and just a GREAT place to hang out,laugh and learn!"

Is he getting caffeine during the day?
One thing many would not believe but was true for 2 of my kids, orange juice would hypen my kids up.
I would have to say out of 3 kids all my kids took naps. Maybe look at the baby's eating pattern and maybe see if it is some type of food. Is it maybe they are not playing hard enough during awake time?


Luv gave great advice about the 15 minute rule. It took me 15 minutes to break my first born from the bottle by letting her cry. I went outside for 15 minutes and went inside and heard the cry was becoming a whimper and next thing I knew she was asleep and we never touched a bottle since then. She is perfectly normal today . They crying won't hurt, maybe give your child a 20 minute rule and see if that works? Just my ideas of trying things out.

all of this started at christmas when we traveled to alabama. this was my familys year. and the routine got broken what with everyone wanting time with her(she is the only biological grand child) usually within a week of coming home she is back to normal but this trip was different. i have tried with all of my might to get back on the routine but to no avail. and then there is the time change so now when we put her to bed at the usual time it is still light outside. No i do not talk to her when i go in there but her daddy does. and no matter what i say to him he doesn't listen and then there is the added problem of we live with his parents and they go to bed around 9 pm. and if she cries long enough then his mom will start a whole bunch of crap with me. the last time, lillian woke up and timmy (my fiance and lillies daddy) had turned down the moniter so i didn't hear her, his mother told me that i was neglecting my child. things would be different if we had our own place but i have to deal with this and walk on eggshells with his mom and dad. i know that i am doing the right thing and yes she plays HARD during the day and no she does not get caffene at all . I am under so much stress now that i am having to be put back on my anti depressants and anxiety meds. i am sorry if i am rambling but its good for me to let it out. i want to throw in the towel and tell his mom to worry about lillian, if she thinks she can do so much better. am i wrong for that? all i want is to step back and make them see what they put me through every day. and maybe they would back off a little bit. but anyway, like right now it is 12 mins. after midnight and she woke up at 10:30 and after an hour of the 15 min rule i gave up and turned on elmo so she would stop screaming. i wish that there was a magic wand that i could wave and make her the NON screaming child of my dreams.but then again she is about to be 2 in july so the terrible 2's are starting to set in. Thank you for all the advice and keep it coming.

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I'm the daughter of a trucker and darn proud of it too. now what!!!
this is my daddy ain't he handsome with his grand baby

Awwww, I wish I could come help you out just because I have been exactly where you are. Living with parents/people and having a baby & not letting the baby cry to awaken everyone is a tough thing because they get spoiled.
It sounds to me like just maybe the baby is aware of tension in the house and is disturbed maybe. I never believed people when they said the kids was acting up because you was stressed out (talking about me ok) and then finally I realized every time I was having a bad day, the baby would be whinny, hyper etc or something just to get my attention and it would not be in a good way, therefore it made me more stressed and I felt like giving up many times as well. Hang in there until you can get a place of your own.
I take it you are with the baby all day right? I assume this since you know he/she is not napping during the day.
Just remember the kids grow out of these stages eventually and in the mean time the most you can do is come here, talk to a councelor/doctor and family (that will listen to you!) and just do the best you can. Before you know he/she will be sleeping all night again.
Ok I have to get ready for work, but feel free to pm me if you just need to vent or talk. I know how it is to have no one to discuss baby issue's with.

Make sure no one is sneaking something to the baby that you do not approve of. Observe any new food/drinks the baby might be eating and try different things for night night time and see what happens. Us mommy's have to figure the puzzle out sometimes. DAd needs to tell his parents to but out a little (not to much, you want the kids to have a relationship with them???).
Have a good day and I hope you have a great day.

WOw, I dealt with a similar situation when my boys were tiny tots. I know how stressful the situation can be. The nerve of them suggesting that you are neglecting your child. Financially it is tough, but it would be better to have your own place than to suffer from their verbal abuse. You don't deserve it, it is affecting your relationship with your child, and could interfere with the relationship you have with your spouse. Big hugs dear! I don't know if you can get your spouse to talk to his parents about what they are saying to you or not. Perhaps if you could do some meditation or relaxation exercises that will help you deal with the stress. The baby will sense a much calmer you and she will be able to relax and sleep. Logs brought up an excellant point, children are greatly affected by how we are feeling. This is turn causes them to react in certain ways. You cannot change your inlaws, but you can change how you react to their criticism. They are older, they have forgotten what it is like. You know you are doing what is right so continue. You are the parent and you know what is best. Smile, thank them for the advice......and then tell them to wear earplugs.

While you are # K-mart buy a bunch of ear plugs and the next time they say something about the baby crying throw them a pair That's bad, but it would be funny and you would laugh and the baby would go right to sleep