Originally Posted by Brickman

I went thru a pretty bad experience with a woman and her kids. We were thinking of getting married and she already had the kids calling me "daddy".

When she left it hurt more to loose the kids. It was like loosing your entire family at one time. Now I no longer want any kids of my own. It hurts far too much if you loose them. (I'm married going on 4 yrs now, so far no kids)


BUT a couple things I learned thru that experience to where a woman walking out on me WILL NEVER mess my life up like it did then. I simply will not allow some thing like that to ruin my life. Even if its for a few yrs. Life is too short to waste time on mourning what you cannot bring back.


1. Always keep in mind that some where some body has it worse than you do.

2. I learned and will remember this for the rest of my life that NO MATTER HOW BAD TODAY IS, SOME DAY IT WILL GET BETTER.

3. Will yourself to move on. At first its hard. But after a few months of feeling the hurt and pain, begin to allow your head not your heart to rule your emotions. FORCE yourself to stop feeling sorry for yourself. At this point there is nothing you can do about it.


These are some of the things that worked for me.

Originally Posted by Brickman

What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Most of us have far more internal fortitude and strength than we think we do. We just gotta dig deep to find it.

Originally Posted by LadyTrucker99

I have a totally different sight on the matter. I am with cybergal--anytime i seen "them" -- yes i let 2 of them do it to me-- i am down for just kicking their arse. All in all, its not the cheating that hurt the most--its the "what" they cheated with. I mean, come on, if your gonna cheat i hope she way younger and a lot better looking than me. But nope--it has to be one of the nastiest people on the planet. They thought i would sit around and cry over them too for a long time right? wrong! I did something a little more unusual. I waited for his family to have a big celebration and pop up surprisingly--cuz i am good friends with some family members--then i walk right up to the girl. Shake her hand and say "thank you--you did me a tremendous favor". I also let her know he


is her problem now and I hope she ends up as miserable as i was! and i walk off laughin the whole way! Now years later--he tells me "i made a mistake". And my reply is--you sure did and i walk away. Needless to say we have a son 14 yrs old and he is about as good a father as he was a husband.. My point is--what goes around comes around and it will surely come back to haunt them!

I know you lady's are feeling the pain right now but trust me--it wont last forever and just remember that it does get better. And it will make you stronger. And dont think all men out there are like that cuz they aint. There is good men in the world--just not on the east coast (lol)--you just have to find someone to treat you right. Hang your head high cuz you wont be down forever. I am highly independent and stronger prolly because of these situations and it does get better.

Hang in there and remember we are here for ya until the pain dont hurt so much anymore. Yall take care and hang in there!!!!

Originally Posted by palerdr

available if anyone's interested. Thanks. Bye. Have a fantastic day everyone and a safe new year.

Originally Posted by kd5drx

I feel for all of you lady's I know it is hard when the one you love turns out to be some one different than you thought they were.
I am just coming out of my 4th marriage this one lasted 15 years i thought it was the one that would go on for ever. Well to make along story short after 15 years of helping her raise her son and providing a home and family for her and her son and getting him enrolled in truck driving school and getting her threw some serious medical problems allot of she had to go threw by herself no doubt since i was on the road or over here in IRaq working to provide the money and insurance it took to get those things. Once this was all done i got her a job over here as well so we were both making good money. I talked her into going in for some cosmetic surgery(Tummy Tuck and Lipo suction) She had lost like 250 lbs and had a lot of loose skin that was never going to go away and i knew if bothered her mentally so it was for her not me that i talked her into it. She loved her new look and then 6 months later all of a sudden walks out and says she needed time to get in touch with herself and find her self and i was ignoring her and wasn't paying her enough attention. Well that was 6 months ago we still work in the same area and we got a divorce in Nov so i have tryed to talk to her and put things back together but she has no time to talk or doesn't want to and keeps telling me soon we will talk but she wants to find this feeling she once had to make sure we can make it work. I give up but when you love some one how do you just give up and walk away even after you know they used you and still are i guess i just need to get on with my life and get over it as well its just hard to let go some times. Thanks for being who you are and i hope you all find that one person that is out thee for us all that can make your world the absolute most perfect place it should be no matter where you are what you have.

Originally Posted by mdlf

I was married at 19 and divorced at 25. took only our daughter from that one. Married again and stayed that way until this Aug when he died of Cancer. It would have been 28 years this Christmas. We raised four children together. He wasn't a driver but ran the trucking company in the military until he retired. Military guys aren't home alot either.The trick is communication. Making sure your man goes on the road knowing deep in his bones that he is loved and wanted. Keeping the guy involved in family things without stressing him out about home.
Now I am a driver's SO and he is on the road all week. No kids to distract me. I miss him like hell. It is a case of getting use to it again I guess. I think it takes a special woman to handle the aloneness that these types of careers put on the spouse. Hang in there.