Need some advice on love please? - Page 3 - Truckers' Trucking Forum

shandera · **^ Top** #21 03.04.2008

Destiny.....what a concept!!!!!

I'm glad it all worked out for ya......strange but my situation is a wee bit similar and your outcome gives me even more hope....thanks for sharing.

TotalChaos · **^ Top** #22 03.04.2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by MedicineMan

From a mans point of view I would say he is as interested or more. He wouldn't have stuck around this long and sure wouldn't be talking about living together, getting away togther if he didn't. Sound like he is emotionally guarded, possably scarred. Sounds like me actually which is why I felt I could shed some light here.
You just need to tell him, more then likely once you get it out in the open he will open up. Sounds to me like he keeps sticking his toe in to test the water but is afraid to fully commit to jumping in if ya know what I mean.
A guy like that may be more comfortable with a phone conversation or email then he would be in a personal setting although the personal setting has more possibility of benifits!

Just don't push the guy for more then he is willing to give and he in time will give more and more.

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for all of the great feedback. It really helps.

MedicineMan, thank you for jumping in on this. I do understand exactly what you are saying and it makes a lot of sense. Guess it took me awhile to figure him out, because I was so close to the situation if you know what I mean. It's still almost hard to believe. We were strictly friends for the longest, or at least that was my feelings. Then one day, I just realized that my feelings were more. Feels like it happened so fast. Looking back, I feel like maybe I was in denial about the situation. He "told on himself" when an ex-boyfriend moved back to my area and tried to rekindle our relationship. The ex asked me to marry him and said that he would take care of me and I could have all the benefits. First of all, I'm very independent and would not allow that to happen. I was very naive to the fact that maybe the friendship with my best friend had become more than just friends in his eyes. When he found out about what my ex had said, something came over him and he blurted out, "well why don't you just marry me?!" I was shocked and then he blew it off as if he was being sarcastic or something. He always claims that he never wants to get married again, so he caught me offguard.

You are right MedicineMan, he is scared. He too has had a long line of bad relationships. I believe that I'm totally opposite than all the women he's been with, wich is probably why he feels some attraction. Also, looking at the frienship from the outside, I don't know many men that would talk on the phone for hours at a time.

I'm trying to make arrangements to go to his hometown for a weekend, but it may be awhile before that can happen. I probably will be the one to come out with it, because I'm going to go nuts if I dont I know you said to be careful not to puch him to much, but I'm not exactly sure what that would be?

This is getting rather long and I didn't intend on that, so I'm going to wrap it up Looking forward to hearing more great feedback. Thanks

TotalChaos · **^ Top** #23 03.04.2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by maggieb

I just kind of skipped over everyone elses comments on this, which I will read after I post this... but this hits home with me so I wanted to give you my opinion before I read what the others had to say.... I know exactly how you feel. My best friend Justin means the WORLD to me. He would do anything for me, as I would do anything for him. We've both dated other people throughout our friendship, and we've always been around for each other. But recently I cant even bring it to myself to even think about being with anyone else. I date guys, and I cant help but feel guilty. Everyone says "we're meant to be" ... and it reminds me exactly of how you're talking about you think he feels the same way, and he wants to say something, but he just doesnt. Its hard. You shouldnt let something slip away, but on the same hand how to you tell someone you value in your life that you care about them beyond a "friendship" way without the fear of completely ruining that friendship all together. I guess you just have to have faith in your heart and take the right measures of feeling his opinion out all together. Maybe see if you guys could meet up and doing something friendly for a weekend... something friendly, but could also be disquised as romantic?

Well... since Im on the same boat, if you find any better ideas please let me know!!!

GOOD LUCK SWEETIE!!!!!

I know exactly what you mean! I don't really feel the need to be with anyone else. Even if I did go out with someone, I would feel really guilty, almost as if I were cheating on him. When my ex moved back to town, normally that would have been a temptation for me to sleep with him. I wouldn't date him again, but would use him for a friends with benefits. That thought never crossed my mind at all. I just kept thinking about my friend and what it would be like to be with him. *LOL* I know the ex wasn't too happy, but he will get over it, just like I got over him.

The thing that amazes me the most is how my friend gets to me. It's not a bad thing at all, but he keeps me a little off guard. I'm not sure how to deal with that, as I like to stay in control of myself and my feelings at all times. I think that is a lot of my attraction to him.

We can hang in there together on this.

maggieb · **^ Top** #24 03.05.2008

Well you're right, we will have too!!! lol.. finally someone who understands what its like to have feelings for someone so close to you, yet you have no idea on how to act on them!

I hear ya on that "tempted by an ex" thing too... mine will be at the truck show this month... before I was excited to see him and well... lol. yea. But now I really hope he doesnt go. I dont even care to see him, and I will make all efforts to avoid & ignore him!!!

hang in there, and keep us updated!

MedicineMan · **^ Top** #25 03.05.2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by TotalChaos

MedicineMan, thank you for jumping in on this.

No problem. I'm just hanging out here with the girls

I don't come in here often (it's dangerous. shhhh) I just saw the topic on the main list and it looked interesting

cmw1967 · **^ Top** #26 10.25.2008

It's a scientific fact that being in love affects the same part of your brain that insanity does(as seen on mris) so keep in mind that you may not be looking at it from the outside as much as you think...be careful

GuysLady · **^ Top** #27 10.25.2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by MedicineMan

No problem. I'm just hanging out here with the girls

I don't come in here often (it's dangerous. shhhh) I just saw the topic on the main list and it looked interesting

Maybe you should come in here more often! A man's perspective is always helpful, especially coming from one who realizes how violitile we Ladies can be! LOL!

Suncoast · **^ Top** #28 01.07.2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by TotalChaos

Hello everyone. I'm new to this site and think it's really cool. A fellow truck driver told me about this a few months back and I'm just now getting here.

I have read through many threads on here and have decided that this was an okay place to ask for some advice.

I'm seeking some advice on love. My problem is that I believe I'm falling in love with my best friend and this scares the heck out of me. I met him in truck driving school a few years back and we managed to stay in touch. I'm normally the one giving friends advice, but I feel totally naive in this situation. You know what they say?....It's easier to give advice than it is to take it.

If I put myself on the outside of my situation, I would have to say that he's just as crazy about me as I am him. I've known him long enough to know that he has a brick wall put up around his heart and he's scared to show emotion. He believes he can control every aspect of his emotions.

I'm trying to keep this as short as possible and still get my point across, so feel free to ask any questions if you can give me some advice.

We spend hours talking on the phone each day, sometimes more than once. He's always talking about me moving somewhere with him and being his "roommate". He has invited me to spend holidays with him and his daughter, but I have not been able to do this as I live in another state.

The thing that stumps me the most is this...I have been friends with him for a long time. Most of this time I saw him strictly as a friend. Over the last few months I feel like I'm really falling for him. We do have a lot in common, butfor the most part I would say that we really aren't each others "type" if you know what I mean.

We are both afraid of doing something that will hurt our friendship and that is why feelings aren't being mentioned. I can't imagine my life without him and I'm sure he would say the same. He often acts like he wants to say something, but doesn't. I just don't know what to say or how to say it. I really believe that this should be a face to face conversation, but I we only see each other in person 3-4 times a year. It's beginning to drive me crazy. He's the last person on my mind before I close my eyes at night and the first person I think of in the morning. We have had some deep conversations lately and I've noticed that he's having trouble sleeping from what he's told me.

The BIG question is...

How do I tell my friend how I feel about him or should I and why am I falling so hard and fast for a guy that is not really my "type"?!

it sounds like he is givin you a chance so go for it before he puts the wall back up!

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