Saw my bf last night. He's really not getting along with his trainer and he was looking so down. His trainer is one of those guys who explodes and then the next hour is trying to make jokes with you like nothing happened! So many little arguments between those two guys and the trainer said to him yesterday that if he doesn't like the way he trains to put in a request for someone else.
My bf doesn't know if that will look bad on him (as if he can't get along with people) or if he would end up with someone worse!
He comes home this weekend, he really needs the break because he looked so depressed...

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Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.

What company is he with? I understand that not all trainers are perfect and some of them can be down right mean. But you need to remind him that this is not a situation that he will have to live with forever it is only 30 days. Depending on the company he could ask for a new trainer. Just tell him to hang in there.

Not only that, but SOME trainers will INTENTIONALLY antagonize the trainee, just to "toughen" them up for life out here OTR.

If they wimp out, then the company will think that they are not right for the job.

However, there ARE many trainers who are simply out-right ### wipes...


If his training is only for 30 days or so, tough it out, it's not that long...after that, it will feel like a piece of cake for him.

Judi Kay

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Livin', Lovin',Laughin'...Makin' Friends, & Lovin' Life, Rollin' Down That Big Road!!! Redneck Women RULE!! Hell, YEAH!!!!

The company is werner and the training is for 300 hours. The bf has been driving days for 9 days, he's not allowed to drive at night yet.
His trainer told him that he liked being a solo driver and he liked his route. Then Werner, or Sears told him he had to get a teammate or become a trainer. He opt'd to be a trainer but doesn't like sharing his space.
The bf said he's a bad example because he talks on the cell and does various stuff due to road rage you're not supposed to do while driving (like honking the horn when Bf is driving, yelling at other drivers from the window - even in truckstops!).
Bf says trainer takes credit for the good stuff, like getting there on time or figuring our their way if they were lost when the bf was doing all the work. Bf also says he's quick to jump on anything he does wrong and yells and curses and it very demoralizing - and also unfair because the trainer still grinds gears, etc. too - yet bf gets yelled for doing it. The training also takes over quickly without letting Bf work out tough spaces.
Bf said the trainer said the only good reason to have 2 people in the truck is so one can sleep and he wants to sleep while Bf is driving but Bf is new and needs him to watch and so trainer gets cranky for having to do that because the trainer has to be up sometimes to watch him drive and the trainer has to drive at night so he gets little sleep. But recently he has been sleeping while bf drives and Bf takes that as a sign of confidence in his driving so he doesn't mind.
Trainer threatens to call managers and complain that bf isn't picking up on driving well fast enough.
Trainer has a hard to understand accent and talks about Bf to his family (not in English) right in front of him.
The trainer is very religous (don't know what religion) and doesn't allow them to listen to the radio - yet he is quick to curse up a storm when he gets upset.
Yesterday bf had enough and yelled back and the trainer said if Bf didn't like how he trained he could call up for someone else.
Bf is still up in the air on dealing with what he has - because the next trainer could be worse - or calling up for a new trainer and being judged as someone who can't get along with other people or the job.
Bf has a friend lined up to be a teammate with once he gets past this training phase.
Today he called me and it's better in the truck but its awkward since they both don't really like eachother.
Bf is starting to wonder if this trainer is trying to push him out because he never wanted him there if he really is just an #$$%*#^

__________________
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.

After work I had things to do today. Go to the bank, go food shopping, clean... I came home and sulked and didn't do anything.
I'm tired of doing everything alone. And that's the way it's always going to be with a trucker husband.
And I don't like it.
And I can'r tell him because even though he hates the trainer he loves the job.
And even if I told him it wouldn't change anything because he was unemployed and couldn't find anything else. This is what we have to do and it varies from day to day but today I am very unhappy.

__________________
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.

Sweetie, it does get better. I promise. I have been in your shoes and hated it just as much. I went from hubby being home every night to being gone 8-10 weeks at a time. It took me 2 years to adjust, and another year to get good at being on my own. Now, if he is home more than 2 days, I am begging dispatch to get him the Hell out of my house!

It will get better!

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Thanks. I ad a few days where I was doing really welll and then maybe due to Aunt Flo had a really sucky moment. I don't like to admit how much that time of the month effects me but I can look back on some crazy decisions made and things done whenever that time comes around.
Had a cry like I guess everyone does and I'm better. I'm still sad. I looked through pix of us together, I really miss him but I know it's not like the army or jail. He's coming back - he's actually coming back Sunday so I have something to look forward to. And I should feel lucky that within these 9 days gone I've seen him 3 or 4 times. I'm lucky he's regional and not all over the US.
Tomorrow I'll get everything done that I should of done today so the fridge is stocked and the house is neat for when he comes home.

__________________
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.

I just read all these posts and I have to say that I must be lucky. My DH works for a local company and he is home every weekend. He leaves out on Sunday about noon and is home the following Friday, usually by 5 or 6. We are still newlyweds having only been married for 4 months.

I have to say the hardest thing for me,is being home all the time. Before we got married I worked full time. After the wedding my daughter and I moved to his town and I haven't been able to find a job, but i can say the house is clean.

Well thanks and good luck to everyone.

Angie

Angie (32)
DH Brandon (Iceman)(36)
Daughter Erica (16)
2 dogs.

at first it will be hard for you being a truckers wife. i knew my husband was a trucker when we met and there was no way i wanted to change him. Its hard to plan vacations but we manage to go camping during the summer and plan special activities to do during the winter months when he gets time off. depending on the company he works for if they will allow you to ride with him. There are some companies that don't let them have riders but even when he worked for one of them i managed to sneak on for a quick ride. its nice to get on the road with them and see the country. i hope that you get to go with him cause it will get you to see what it is like for him out there on the road

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susan

Well I'll update that my bf never switched trainers. They had a huge fight which is what resulted in the trainer saying basically "if you don't like the way I train then switch trainers" and the bf did consider it but after a nights rest to cool down they tried to talk it out a bit - mostly they agree to disagree but they are still on the road now and this past week there's only been 1 fight. I guess as long as they don't dwell on it and just move on things will work out.
He's almost at his half way point in hours needed before he can truck solo - or at least with a team mate of his choosing. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
I saw him last night and he actually ran into a guy he had made friend's with at orientation that he would like to team with. They got to shoot the breeze about their trainers - this other guy doesn't like his either but at least he's keeping in touch with his future teammate. That also makes the job more bearable.
As for me this week without him is flying by. The FIRST 2 weeks were so HARD and then he came home for 2 days and it was wonderful so now that he's out again for 2 weeks I'm handling it better because I know my 2 days with him are coming soon.
I'm quickly getting use to the 2 weeks away 2 days home routine but this is just his trainers route.
Once he gets his own truck I have no idea what his schedule will be... that worries me but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

__________________
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.