Angelgirl,

This is the best place to come and share those emotion. I am new at this also and there are times I think I am doing well and then something happens and you realize how far you've got to go.

I know the first week for me wasn't too bad because I was so busy with getting him on the road and the 4th of July being that week. There was always stuff I had to do. Now there are things I should do and don't feel up to it or don't have the energy for.

I know keeping yourself busy is the key. I was thinking today about going to visit some friends. I was praying today God just get me through today and this week. I can't think to far ahead. You know "One day at a time".

Angelgirl, if there is one thing I have learned beyond a shadow of doubt, if I feel the urge to sit and cry, there is no use fighting it. I sit and cry. I feel better for it. Fighting your own feelings only gives you either a massive headache, or ulcers....

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Yesterday was not good, not good at all.
Hubby's birthday, I went to work, and decided to email him during my break to say Happy Birthday. My miserable smug *** of a supervisor catches me and proceed to lecture me on mis-use of email.
She is 24, just got married to some 'successful lawyer', (who doesn't seem to have a name, she refers to him as "my lawyer husband"!!!) I'm nearly twice her age, trying to hold together a long-distance marriage, and missing my wonderful hubby badly. . . . you get the picture. I wanted to hit her.
I felt like saying "How do you feel when you are apart for birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc?" But she would never understand, so there's no point, just no point.

I would recommed a good cell phone company. My guy is a cross country trucker and he is away from home for 7 weeks at a time. What saves us is that he is part of a team and he drives the night shift so we get to talk everynight...but even then there are nights that I still cry because I miss him so much, but you just need to stay busy.

That blows!

When I worked at the convenience store, my boss was very understanding of what it meant to be part of a truckers family.

I was always very busy when I was there, so I couldn't always answer my cell phone. He to where he picked it up from the back counter when he came in, and he answered it every time it rang. He'd give directions to my husband, or talk to the kids, or if my husband simply wanted someone to talk to him, he'd sit there and do just that...

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Wow!
Can I work there too?!

Ladies, my s/o is suggesting that I get my CDL and become his partner. His current partner is his sister and I hear how they bicker alot while on the road (he calls every night) and he is out for 7 weeks at a time. I would dearly love to be with him everyday but I am scared that we would become the bickering couple and I would hate that, not to mention with one of us driving days and one driving nights how much time we we really have together.

Any advice ladies or any of you guys out there

Thanks
Dez

GREAT THREAD - I read about 7 pages of this before my eyes went cross eyes so I'll just introduce myself.
Sarina - 28 yrs old and have been with my bf 1.5 yrs - No kids but 2 kitties.
I'm so glad read the stories of people being down when their s/o is gone! I feel so weak and guilty for feeling down. Since we first met we have just been around eachother 24/7. He has his friends and I have mine but we spent so much time just cuddled with eachother that I feel really alone with him gone.
I'm super new at this.
My bf just passed his CDL test on Saturday and was Pre Hired by Werner to drive for Family Dollar.
This Tuesday I went up to PA to drop him at his hotel for orientation and that whole day was really, really hard. When I left the hotel I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life! And he didn't hold back the tears either which I appreciated because I didn't want to seem like the only one who's a mess.
We talk by phone and text - right now he's just doing paper work, physicals and classes. Last night we got the webcam to work and that helped a bit.
I feel like crying all the time, and I mean all the time. But I work full time and can't fall apart there.
It's really had because he hasn't met his trainer yet and we have no idea how long he's going to be gone when he actually goes. Werner has a policy of 300 hrs of driving with a trainer before he can go solo. We figured if the trainer gave him the max of 10 hours driving a day he could be home in a month. But being a bew driver he can't drive at night so he'll be out longer than a month. The bf asked around and said most first times out are closer to 2 months. 2 months!?!?! But it depends on if they trainer wants to driver straight through with no home time or not.
He's interested in finding a buddy in NJ to become a team with. I am exicted to go out on the rode with him one of these days but I don't see myself becoming his team member because I have a job right now, I'm looking forward to having kids one day, and I'm not even a good driver in a car! I can't imagine working a gigantic truck. But paper work, map reading, ect. I could maybe do come retirement age...
I may even be able to go up to PA and see him this weekend - I would really like that.
I haven't cried (where he could see or hear) these past 2 days since we've been apart but it's really hard to keep a smiling face at this time. He seems to really be excited with what he's doing and I don't want to bring him down. I know he's being brave for me to and if I crack, he will, and that won't solve anything. For a split second he thought, maybe this life wasn't for him. But after the thousands he paid for the school and the fact that he's barely seen 'the life' yet we're pushing forward with this career for the time being. Besides, he's wanted to try trucking for years, once he got laid off it was a great time for a career change. I think we will both survive this once he gets a routine in place.
My hobbies right now... cleaning junked up closets and watching The Tudors lol. I'm already thinking about sponge painting the bathroom LOL

__________________
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.

Ugh, just got bad news from the bf. Yesterday he was put through some physical test. Marching in place, lifting weights, pulling things and he passed everything while keeping his heart rate in the range required.
Me and the bf are very unfit and so I was glad he passed.
But now he told me they told him he infact failed the physical and will not be on the Family Dollar account.
It's really disappointing because since we heard he'd be on the Family Dollar account I've been researching it and it sounded like a good deal. I can't imagine how he feels, I would be embarrassed and upset to be told I'm too fat to do something. But we do know that we brought this on ourselves, which just adds guilty to the list of bad feelings I would be feeling in his shoes.
He was actually looking forward to doing some labor and losing some weight. In his younger years he worked for UPS and dropped a lot of weight with all loading he had to do.
They said they'll find him something with more driving and less manual labor...
just have to wait and see...

__________________
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.

More updating! With him gone I have nothing else to do with my life!
I got a call from bf this evening. His trainer called and is coming to get him at 1am and they are going to make a delivery. I dunno where this guy is from...
When bf first told me I was ok with it, I knew he had to be excited. The trainer also gave him the job of mapping out the route so he ate dinner, told me he was going to map out the route and then go to bed.
I was dissapointed that I won't see him Friday, or this weekend probably but he needs to get out and do this.
2 hours later it hit me that he's traveling away and I don't know when I'll see him again. And I know you guys go weeks and even months without seeing/holding/kissing you s/'o's but I don't know how you do it. And I'm afraid, afraid something might happen to him while he's gone. That's my biggest fear.
I fell apart and am still even now trying to pull myself together.
Like I'm sure you all have done, I am regretting this decision. I know it takes a certain breed to be a trucker's wife and I don't know if I can do it. I can't stand the quiet here. I got pampered with him being home all the time when he got laid off. He was almost always home when I got home and we did everything together.
Also seriously thinking about getting a cdl myself but I can barely drive a car. I can't parallel park, I don't back into anywhere, I just don't think I have the skill to do it. Plus I have my 2 cats that I don't think I can take on the road and what about our apt and what about kids and a house and a typical future. Where does that fit with both people on the road?
I don't think I'll do that I just don't know how I'll make it alone.
My cats made me laugh because my sobbing was freaking them out and they started jumping at every sniffle. So I started sniffling on purpose just to see em jump. poor cats.
Then, too give you guys a laugh, as if my moods aren't crazy enough. Once I was starting to pull myself together my face felt itchy. And I'm a bug a phobe. I thought back to that spider I killed yesterday and wondered it maybe it was a crab. Maybe I got crabs (you know, the std) off that dirty bed in that dirty hotel room they put my bf at. (And it IS dirty, he saw a roach while he was showering.) We didn't even do anything but maybe just being on a dirty bed is enough. I ran to the bathroom to check out my face and it turns out I cried so much I pulled a lot of eye lashes out and they were on my face itching me. I still inspected my arms and hair just to be sure.
I'm a wreck. I'm suffocatingly hot still, I'm still freaked out and itching and still crying on and off.
I so wanted to call the bf too, tell him not to do this, let me pick him up and we'll find something else! But I didn't. He feels he has to do this, no where else was hiring and he already put so much money and effort into it. He's not a quitter but if he does, it's up to him to decide. I can't guilt him. I have got to be more logical.
I'm still up and down. Nothing else I can do.

__________________
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.