FIRST DEGREE

A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a
moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"
and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I
don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."


SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in
the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second
blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the
compact. The second one looks in The mirror and says, "You dummy,
it's me!"


THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the
blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and
as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and
puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do
it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"


FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says,
"OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh,
that's easy: "W."


FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"


SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.
Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That
was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the
Delaware."

SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond As
the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde ran out on the porch, the blonde shuddered at the sight of
the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in
her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions
stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries all disappear, and life stands explained. Mark Twain

Quote:

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

I always had this problem in history!

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I was almost grown before I found out D.C. wasn't in Washington. ......and I'm not blonde.

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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries all disappear, and life stands explained. Mark Twain

I am blonde and my husband always has a good story for me and I always fall for it.

MY husband pulled one on me not to long ago...They have a commerical on TV up here that's made from the nearest FORD dealer and it's about this man sitting way high up on this sign and waving to people...It's about two stories high this sign is.

Well, He kept telling me...WOW! YOU would think this guy would get cold sitting up there all day long.
I just couldn't believe that someone would do this but saw the commercials on it!! LOL...

So the other day, I had to go by this FORD DEALER and sure enough this guy was sitting way up on this sign so I decided to wave and peep my HORN at him...but couldn't understand why he didn't wave back.

I told my husband when he got home that I did this and he started laughing and laughing and laughing...drove me NUTS!

Finally he said....HONEY...that guy is just one of those mannican's..he's not real!

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I have a close friend that turned herself into a BLONDE about 15 years ago. I think it has affected her brain...but she is loads of fun. Funny tho, she tells everyone that I am. (Fun)

d.

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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries all disappear, and life stands explained. Mark Twain

My sister is a real blonde and living with her is one laugh after another!

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LuvMyHubby
PROUD Mom of an enlisted man currently in Iraq
"The Truckers Report..helping newbies avoid the shams and scams, providing support for driver families and just a GREAT place to hang out,laugh and learn!"

My wifes Blonde and Polish. Now thats a joke!!!!!! Or should I say disaster.

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Be safe and God Speed,
Reverend Matthew "The Dragon" Koscielski
!!!Proud to be a gear grinder!!!

Faith, Hope, Love. The Greatest is Love 1 Corinthians 13:13

Can anyone tell me what the middle peddle in my truck does, cause i never use it.

Brooklyn Ford, "Just watch for the guy on the sign"!

LOL

So, all this time you've had me fooled. I'm still laughing.

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Driving through life not sure of the speed limit

OK, I give, what do they do?