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Trucker & Trucking related jokes, please. Trucker Jokes • Truckers DIRTY Jokes |
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05.22.2007
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 The Guys Rules Guy's rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear"the rules"From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
__________________ ___"Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results."___  |
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05.23.2007
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| O Dear Lord, but that is too funny. And too true - haha! Except the part about the shoes. If I hafta stop buying shoes he hasta stop buying tools and trucks. hahaha!
__________________ All good things come to those who wait; The Secret of Happiness is to wait Successfully. |
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05.23.2007
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| Wow If a girl put it like that I would actually be like, ok buy shoes then. Never thought about that, we do buy a lot of tools and stuff. But If we don't have tools how are we gonna fix your car and all the stuff around the house? Just joking, I thought this was funny and Men and Women would get a kick out of it.
__________________ ___"Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results."___ |
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05.23.2007
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| LOL, how cute! 
__________________ LuvMyHubby PROUD Mom of an enlisted man currently in Iraq "The Truckers Report..helping newbies avoid the shams and scams, providing support for driver families and just a GREAT place to hang out,laugh and learn!"  |
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05.23.2007
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| around the house, maybe yes, but I can't even get my Pontiac in the garage for all those raggedy Fords sitting in the way...  (yep, I'm teasing - I'm often reminded that it's a raggedy Ford that comes and gets me when my Pontiac breaks down!!)
__________________ All good things come to those who wait; The Secret of Happiness is to wait Successfully. |
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05.21.2008
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| Great rules...
__________________ A thought (The trucking game! Never any rules for the management or DOT and a lot of BS from them. Then all rules for the drivers for we are covered in bull!!!)   73's Phil/KG4JRR |
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05.21.2008
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| amen!!! |
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05.21.2008
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| I guess turnabout is fair play... |
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