A man walks up to the entry table at a rodeo wearing plain blue jeans, a white t-shirt, tennis shoes and a stocking cap and asks to enter the rodeo. The admissions clerk tells him that this is for professionals, but the man insists and is allowed to enter.

The first event is the calf roping. The man gets on his horse and wins the event.

The second event is bronco riding. The man wins again without a problem.

This continues through all of the events, and the man wins them all, to the amazement of the crowd.

Afterwards, the man goes back up to collect his winnings and the clerk says to him, "Wow!!! That was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. How did you learn to do all of those things?"

The man answers, "I have a ranch in Montana and work it every day."

The clerk responds, "Then why don't you wear cowboy boots and a cowboy hat?"

"Because", the man says. "I don't want people to think I am a truck driver."

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I am doing better than I deserve.

hey quit talking about me.......shesh you outta know by now i dont promote myself

bronc that really was the punch line ......too funny

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!" He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says, "You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?" The truck driver says, "I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I am hauling." The bartender says, "Okay, truck drivers are not nerds." and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver said, totally shocked, "Why did you do that?" The bartender said, "Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license." The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said, "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season." "Well, sure," said the patrolman. "But you can't bait 'em."

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Phantomtruck

Truck pep pill:
A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper in Iowa. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his go fast pills, the patrolman asked, "Did I just see you swallow something?"

"Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.

"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.

"Yep, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed!"

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Phantomtruck

There was an Aussie guy driving his truck in the Australian outback. And 'cos he's in the Aussie outback he has a roo-bar on the front of his truck incase he hits something.
Suddenly he hits something big. He radio's into his dispatcher's and says 'Hey guys, I've got a pig stuck in my roo-bar, how do I get it out?'
They radio back to him saying 'Cut the stomach open and the guts will fall out.'
He does this, then radios back in, 'Hey guys, I've got another problem...'
'What's that?'
'What do I do with the motorcycle and the helmet?'

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Phantomtruck

Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks around to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and remarks, "Looks like you got stuck, huh?"
The trucker replies sarcastically, "No, officer, actually I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of diesel!”

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Phantomtruck

Good ones phantom

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Phantom and Hammster... great jokes!

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