READ AND GRIN A LITTLE
These are actual comments made on students'
report cards by teachers in the New York City
public school system.
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock
bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village some where of an 'idiot'.
5. Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently
fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic
thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the
train isn't coming
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to
be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created
this child, beat out 1,000,000 others
12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely
dead.
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual
police car videos around the country:

13. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the
one you just went through.'
14. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They stretch after awhile.'
15. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document.'
16. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
17. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be
chasing you'
18. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess
that means I can write anything I want to on the
ticket, huh?'
19. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am
the shift supervisor?'
20. 'Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you
not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
21. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether
you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
22. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and
corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'
23. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven.'
24. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
25. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
26. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to,
but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as
we can.'
27. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a
personal friend of yours. So you know someone
who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

28. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right, we don't. Sign here.'

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Those are funny. But I seriously doubt the teacher quotes came from actual comments.

They are kind of out of here comments but I still remember school, and how crappy the teachers could be.
Sorry LM

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Now the teacher comments I can't see happening because of our now politically "in"correct society. But the ones from the police defnitely could see them saying things like that. And there wouldn't be anything wrong with it either. I like the one about Mickey Mouse. The clue is in the name. And the one about the quota and the toaster oven.

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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketsup.


Somewhere there is an energy leak.

It's a dog eat dog food world.

The cop ones are cute and I WISH you could put that stuff on kids' report cards but I know you can't. They have "canned comments" now - you get to choose and they're all the same.

Yes, but those canned comments can save you from a lawsuit if you say anything that might offend anyoner.

Yup but I miss honest comments from good teachers.

I loved my kindergarten teacher, although I cried and made my mom cry, the first couple days.

I have never received a ticket, only a few warnings. My favorite was when I drove an older subaru wagon with a third light on the grill and was using it instead of the headlights because of some issue & I was told that I couldn't do that. It probably looked like a pretty big motorcycle in the dark.

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"You know, I think I'm the most patient man on earth." quoting Willard Wigan, sculptor of my avatar (cat on a hair strand) & other microscopic sized art wonders.