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The World Is A Joke Miles Of Laughter. Trucking Jokes, Humor, Funny Quotes, Cartoons, Anything for a Laugh ...keep it clean! Have Fun! Trucker & Trucking related jokes, please.
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Old 04.04.2008
Shortcircuit27's Avatar
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Actual newspaper headlines
Actual Newspaper Headlines



Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [ummm....]
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Old 04.04.2008
Bobtail Member
  
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rofl cute...
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Old 04.05.2008
t_wilson0321's Avatar
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Makes you wonder what school they graduated from. Cracker Jack University?
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Old 04.05.2008
prisonerofthehwy's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shortcircuit27 View Post
Actual Newspaper Headlines



Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [ummm....]
I am/atleast was a member of the Pulaski County historical society. That reminds me I need to go pay my dues, and get reinstated for this year.... anyway, they sent me a letter a while back that contained some Obituaries from the region, from the late 1800's. Obituaries aren't suppose to be funny, but the wording sure is. I will have to go find it......

Mr. Solomon Davis, upward of 80 years, and an inmate of our county asylum for the poor, fell dead from his chair one evening this week. He served as a soldier in the war of 1812; never drew a pension, neither did he apply for one. 11 February, 1876

A woman named Kay (?) fell dead a few evenings ago while crossing the room Dr. Scott was called and made a post mortem. A very large tumor was taken from her womb, which was opened and found to contain an infant in embryo. 1880.
That last one had had the question mark just like that. Ok, not funny the sitition, but what where they thinking with the wording? I have several pages of this stuff.
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Old 04.05.2008
prisonerofthehwy's Avatar
Ball and Chains
  
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The wife of George Albert, a farmer living three miles north of here, dropped dead Wednesday, Nov. 1879
So she no longer has a name, other than the term the wife of? and what's up with the old local paper using the term "Dropped dead," so much? You'd think Kentucky was full of hicks.


Poor fellow. A man named Montgomery was found frozen to death near the depot last Tuesday morning. 27 December, 1878
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Old 04.05.2008
leannamarie's Avatar
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Originally Posted by prisonerofthehwy View Post
You'd think Kentucky was full of hicks.
Well, hey, you said it not me.
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