The wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy:

1. A day without sunshine is like night
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers
3. 42.7 % of all statistics are made up on the spot
4. 99 % of lawyers give the rest a bad name
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average
6. He who laughs last, thinks the slowest
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice??
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "what the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

I dont care who you are- thats funny right there!

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KD8FQB