Summer Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 17th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

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Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Free duct tape included. First piece to cover your mouth the rest of the roll can be used to repair the car after she parks.....

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My childhood dream of becoming a truck driver turned into a nightmare!

Some of us would only need the duct tape for the husband's mouths, some women can parallel park without a problem.

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Since you are a teacher and have described your car on here I thought it was your class....

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My childhood dream of becoming a truck driver turned into a nightmare!

Ha, ha, ha. Everyone else abused my car, not me. I don't think that I had ever parallel parked before I became a driving instructor though and I suddenly had to teach teenagers how to do it. I learned really quickly.

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I just had a vision of you pulling up in your car and then getting in the student driving car to teach young uns how to drive. I am thinking they would say hey what happened to your car????
Sort of like a swift trainer.

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My childhood dream of becoming a truck driver turned into a nightmare!

I taught in my own personal car. There wasn't a scratch on it, well at least not on the second one. My first one was a used car that I bought from my brother. My brother tends to be an idiot. The guy is 42 years old and still doesn't put his chains on right. All his cars have had front wheel fender damage from the chains slapping the heck out of the car. When I wasn't in the driving car, like if I was teaching the education class in the classroom, I was in my beautiful pickup truck.

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As the forums career bachelor, allow me to chime in on a couple of these.
When I moved in to my current residence, the previous tenant took it upon themselves to take the ice trays with them. Just last month I finally bought some. They're still sitting on the counter waiting to be filled up.
Currently on my toilet paper dispenser is the empty cardboard tube. On the tank of the toilet is the roll. The dispenser is one of those fancy schmancy ones that takes either a PhD in Engineering or being a woman to figure out. What's wrong with a simple white plastic spring loaded roll holder? I seriously doubt it was a man who came up with the design for this thing.
Here's the thing. Anyone who has ever used a high pressure hose for the first time can attest that the pressure sometimes takes you by surprise and you miss your target. Not every urination merely trickles out. Sometimes the "hose" moves unexpectedly, and it almost always happens when a feller either is drunk or has just woken up.
What's a laundry hamper?
No, but if you launch 'em just right you can use 'em as skeet targets! The dishes are done, dude!
Until the day I am physically incapable of using my hands, the remote will always be in my control. I have no desire to watch Fried Green Tomatoes or the latest "He beat me for years and took my babies then I met some sissy guy who showed me how to love again" movie on Lifetime! There's always some Three Stooges or Arnold movie on some other channel.
This class might actually be useful. Just yesterday while getting ready to go fishing, my buddy lost his keys to his truck and began cussing and screaming like a sailor who just came to port and found his woman with another man. Once he finally stopped his string of profanities, I asked him what he was looking for. When he told me, I pointed them out next to the cooler in the bed of his pick-up.
It may not be harmful to our health, but it can be to our wallets. Just play dumb when the neighbor lady asks if you saw anyone stealing flowers from her award winning flower garden, k?
Real men do NOT ask for directions. To do so on a leisure trip is an automatic revocation of our Man Cards. If driving is a required part of our employment, asking directions from another man is the only accepted exception.
Sure it is. So long as it's her car that she pays for completely (insurance included). If a man is at all involved in any monetary contributions to the vehicle, he is aptly entitled to say whatever he wants at any time while a passenger in that vehicle. In fact it's a law in some states.
Simple. Wives are just like mothers, only you can be romantic with your wife. This just might explain why I am a bachelor.
This isn't the title. The actual course outline titles this "How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion by learning to be gay." Here's a thought, ladies. How 'bout you don't bother asking is if we WANT to go with you. The answer is always NO, unless you're going to Lowe's or Home Depot or Best Buy.
I've never had a problem with birthdays and anniversaries, but the other "important dates" is a whole other issue. As men, we don't make it a habit to remember the dates of lesser importance, such as the first time we felt comfortable enough to break wind around you.

As to the second part of this course, it's not always possible to call if we're going to be late when there are times we don't even know what time it is. Maybe you ladies could call US and remind us to be somewhere at a certain time.
I know what it is and how it's used. What I don't know is how it's cleaned. Just ask my cleaning lady.

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Keep that diesel burnin' and those tires turnin', but get there safe to keep on earnin'!!

As long as I can shop and accomplish the SAME thing in a FRACTION of the time it takes when with my wife I'll always complain about how long it takes on the very rare occasion I get trapped into going shopping with her.


If she wants a new what ever item for the house that requires my input beyond paying for the thing she gets sent out to do ALL the window shopping and narrow it down to cost, features, colors, availability where, and all those good things.
I get the cliff notes and then we go take a quick look and make a final decision. I don't have half a day to blow looking in 10 stores for what she might want.

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I'll never tell when the guys in the neighborhood snag a few roses... Aren't they grown to share the beauty?

Lowes, HOme Depot, Best Buy? CAN I GO?? My hubby hates going in there with me. (It may have something to do with the fact that I already know what I am looking for, and want to get in out, and done, and he wants to lolligag around?)

I wish mine would just remember my full name. For him to remember our anniversay would be STRANGE!

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