Why the Chicken Crossed the Road - UPDATED - Truckers' Trucking Forum | Message Board

MountainMama · **^ Top** #1 05.14.2008

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? (Updated)

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because he wanted a change. It's time for CHANGE!!
JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure --- right from DAY ONE--- that every chicken gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about ME....although I clearly remember having to dodge enemy fire as Chelsea and I crossed the road.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with his problems here on THIS side of the road...before he goes after the problems on the OTHER side of the road. What we need to do is help him to realize how STUPID he is being by not taking on his CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems!
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having this chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls --- which is a part of life --- I'm going to give this chicken a car, so he can drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us....or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road....
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to allow the chicken to cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross and I was misled about the chicken's intentions!! I am not for it now and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY!!! You can see it in his eyes, and the way he walks!
PAT BUCHANAN: He crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hard-working American!
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I have a standing order at the market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why...I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: Because the chicken was GAY! Can't you guys see the plain truth?? That's why they call it the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott chickens until we sort out this abomination that the drive-by liberal media white-washes with seemingly innocuous phrases like "the other side". That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us that the chicken crossed the road...and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that intewesting? In a few moments we will be wistening to the chicken tell, for the very first time, the heart warming stowy of how it expewienced a sewious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its wife-wong dweam of of cwossing the woad to engage in an illicit affaih with a U.S. Senator.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world, crossing the road together.....in PEACE!
BILL GATES: I have just released eCHICKENS2008, which will not only cross roads, but lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road.....or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of "chicken"?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some BLACK chickens!!
REV. JEREMIAH WRIGHT: I say, "Damn that chicken!" Does that make me unpatriotic?

Baack · **^ Top** #2 05.14.2008

Hey they added Rush Limbaugh, John McCain, Oboma and wright to the list LOL
These are so funny

rookietrucker · **^ Top** #3 05.14.2008

I think I will have chicken for dinner !!!

Baack · **^ Top** #4 05.14.2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by rookietrucker

I think I will have chicken for dinner !!!

I have decided to consume ethanol
At least its subsidized (welfair)
With the given use of corn, and rising cost of food
Along with PETA training our animals to speak Mexican so they will be protected by our government
I have changed my consumption habits
Yes this is satire but its getting close
Truckers

Lil Blue Pony · **^ Top** #5 05.15.2008

I am a steak girl myself buts I'm a gonna buy me a rotisseried up bird from Wally World for sure now!

LostOne9 · **^ Top** #6 06.17.2008

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....................rotisseried, can I come?

thestoryteller · **^ Top** #7 06.25.2008

Courtesy of a couple of 10 year old children in a grocery store............

I'm standing in line and I hear:

"She's old.... tell her.... no, she's not that old....ya she is.... tell her..... see if she laughs..... I don't think she's old enough.... oh, just do it....watch, she'll laugh.... why do they laugh?.... I don't know....just do it.... you'll see....."

Child says..... "Hey, Lady, why did the gum cross the road?"

I bite and reply......"I don't know, why did the gum cross the road?"

Kids giggle and say "Because it was stuck to the chickens foot!"

I guess I am old......... I laughed out loud........

They look at me like I am senile and run off laughing..........

I'm wondering what the real joke was...... the chicken, the gum, or me??

Phil1Fla · **^ Top** #8 06.25.2008

Do I smell CHICKEN cooking on this message board???
The one thing that they didn't tell you about the chicken is that it was on the menu that evening. So the chicken was crossing the road running for it's very life. And no she didn't get away. She tasted good last night!
anymore chicken stories? I may have the answer! (no way)

Scarecrow03 · **^ Top** #9 06.25.2008

I can't believe I missed this thread when MM originally posted it. I LMAO'd so hard I had to make a trip to the toilet.

Hats off the to original writer of this new spin on an old joke. I could absolutely hear the voices of each person who was satired on this piece.

kickingdeer · **^ Top** #10 06.28.2008

I really like this new spin on a old joke, LOL

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