~Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
To Help brighten your day


One for the Nurses
You know you're a nurse when..

1) the front of your scrubs reads "Nurses... here to
save your ###, not kiss it!"
2) you occasionally park in the space with the
"physicians only" sign... and knock it over.
3) you believe some patients are alive only because
it's illegal to kill them.
4) you recognize that you can't cure stupid.
5) you own at least three pens with the names of
prescription medications on them.
6) you believe there's a special place in hell for
the inventor of the call light.
7) you believe that saying "it can't get any worse"
causes it to get worse just to show you it can.
you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
9) you believe that any job where you can drive to
work in your pajamas is a cool one.
10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan
is perfectly natural.
12) you've been exposed to so many x-rays that you
consider it a form of birth control.
13) you've ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a
brow ring, and twelve earrings say "I'm afraid of shots."
14) you've ever placed a bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
15) you've told a confused patient that your name is
that of a coworker and to call if they need help.
16) your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.
17) you have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.
1 you believe that not all patients are annoying... some are unconscious.
19) your family and friends refuse to watch medical
sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time
correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.
20) you don't get excited about blood, unless it's your own.
21) you've sworn to have "do not resuscitate"
tattooed on your chest. Soon.
22) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal
is perfectly normal to you.
23) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
24) your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.
25) you believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
26) you believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis.
27) you believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.
2 you believe that unspeakable evils will befall
anyone who utters the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?
29) you have ever wanted to write a book entitled
"Suicide: getting it right the first time."
30) you have ever had a patient look you straight in
the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there."
31) you've had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

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By is there a lot of truth in what you have here.

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A thought (The trucking game! Never any rules for the management or DOT and a lot of BS from them. Then all rules for the drivers for we are covered in bull!!!)

73's

Phil/KG4JRR

One of my sisters is an RN. I believe I've heard her utter a few of those before.

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Keep that diesel burnin' and those tires turnin', but get there safe to keep on earnin'!!

Okay, someone has been following my cousin around taking notes!!

She was an OB nurse for years and has had #30 happen!

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Those are good!! 17,20,22 and 6 all apply to me,plus im sure a few others, at one time or another!! LOL

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Sue swears that "shallow gene pool" IS a perfectly legit medical diagnoses!

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Hmmm, so does OB stand for Old B*stards?

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