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| The World Is A Joke Miles Of Laughter. Trucking Jokes, Humor, Funny Quotes, Cartoons,
Anything for a Laugh ...keep it clean!
Have Fun!
Trucker & Trucking related jokes, please. Trucker Jokes • Truckers DIRTY Jokes |
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08.29.2008
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| I just want to thank all of you I just want to thank all of you for your educational post's over the past year. Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using apaper towel. I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels. I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what hashappened on it since it was last washed. I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because thenumber one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose. (Althoughcell phone usage may be taking the number one spot) Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years. I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. Yuck! I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in theglue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelopethat needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown)who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking outfor me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutantfreaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a waterbuffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forwardan email to seven of my friends and make a wishwithin five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone al ong to watch the carso a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make theseproducts are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God'on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwaveanymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones be cause I could be prickedwith a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfumesample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually AlQaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support ourAmerican troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a numberfor which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan . I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have theirrecipe. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brownAfrican spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when itbites my butt. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in theparking lot because it probably was placed there bya sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gascompanies!
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Baack For This Useful Post: | ||
Zaroc (09.06.2008) | ||
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08.29.2008
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| You're welcome. 
__________________  Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketsup. Somewhere there is an energy leak. It's a dog eat dog food world. |
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08.29.2008
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 You're welcome! Glad we could help! 
__________________ In Texas, if you kill someone, we'll kill you back. --- Ron White aka Tater Salad |
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08.29.2008
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| Well han if nothing else I guess you were spared a hole lot of research.Anytime you need the good poop on something just ask for it.  |
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08.29.2008
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| Any time Baack!!! LOL  I never set any hand bag on the floor, if theres no hook I keep it on me!! But then again, I am a hand bag freak, so that would definately explain it, so you dont have to worry about mine !!LOL American only truck crazy girl, cause nothing else will do!!!!!!!
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08.31.2008
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| Just doing our part to make the American public a bunch of paranoid freaks!
__________________ Dynamite comes in small packages, Nitro comes in smaller ones, take your pick!  Lo there do I see my father Lo there do I see my mother and my sisters and brothers Lo there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning Lo they do call to me They bid me to take my place In the halls of Valhalla Where the brave may live forever. From the movie 'The 13th Warrior' |
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09.03.2008
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| You are Welcome and some of those I don't do my hubby got me to stop shopping a Target because of it and I don't put my purse on the floor |
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09.04.2008
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| Here are a couple more: Don't drink water! Do you know what fish have done in it? You should stop breathing. Breathing all this poluted air can kill you!
__________________ Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened. Anatole France |
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