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| The World Is A Joke Miles Of Laughter. Trucking Jokes, Humor, Funny Quotes, Cartoons,
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Trucker & Trucking related jokes, please. Trucker Jokes • Truckers DIRTY Jokes |
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10.01.2008
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 Post your Halloween Jokes here Here comes Halloween...Let's Post some Halloween Jokes in this thread and enjoy!   |
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10.01.2008
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| Why was the Skelton afraid to cross the road? It had no guts.............lol  |
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10.01.2008
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| Oh, geez! These remind me of the jokes that my kids would bring home from school around Halloween!  ************************************************** ***** Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately... What did one ghost say to the other ghost? "Do you believe in people?" What happened to the guy who didn't pay his exorcist? He was repossessed How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch |
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10.01.2008
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| One dark Halloween night, a man is walking home, he passes a graveyard and then hears this pounding. He gets a bit scared so he walks a bit faster. Just then a coffin jumps in front of him. The man starts running but the coffin is close behind him chopping at his heals. He finally gets to a store and run is side thinking he would be safe. But the coffin just follows him in there. People in the store run out quickly, but the coffin keeps following the man. He knocks over a display case to try to stop the coffin , but it only slow it down. The coffin continues chasing the man around the store. Man finds a baseball bat in the store and swings it at the coffin, but the bat just shatters into toothpicks. At the back of the store he still sees a man at the pharmacy counter that seems un phased by the drama unfolding, so the man runs to the other man at the pharmacy counter and says . (are you ready, its a groaner) .. Do you have anything to stop this coffin?  |
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MountainMama (10.03.2008) | ||
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10.02.2008
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| 10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't... 1. So...What'd you get in the sack? 2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!! 3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it! 4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks! 5. I got the best piece from that house. 6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!! 7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling.... 8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!! 9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you. 10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it! |
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10.02.2008
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| Drunk Pumpkin! 
__________________ Hey Al Gore My prediction of global cooling came true Where is my Nobel Peace Prize????? |
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Big Duker (10.03.2008) | ||
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10.02.2008
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| Top Signs You're Too Old for Trick or Treat'n 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 6. People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing a mask! 5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest. 4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders. 3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece. 2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. and last but not least... 1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live. |
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10.02.2008
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| 17 Halloween Lessons Learned From the Movies 17. When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead. 16. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible. 15. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out. 14. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions. 13. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out. 12. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. 11. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several hundred rounds to kill them, so be prepared! 10. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. 9. When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off and go it alone. 8. Do not take *anything* from the dead. 7. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. 6. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing. 5. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead. 4. Never read a book of demon-summoning aloud, even as a joke. 3. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. 2. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, *leave the room immediately if you value your life.* and last but not least... 1. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away! Braaaaaa-haaa-haaa-haaa-haaa!!!! |
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