Things to sayat work when you're stressed:

"Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you"

"You say I'm a ##### like it's a bad thing"

"Well this day was a total waste of make-up"

"Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"

"Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."

"Do I look like a people person?"

"This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting"

"I started out with nothing and still have most of it left"

"Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose"

"Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?"

"I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."

"Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

"Do they ever shut up on your planet?"

"I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet"

"Back off!! You're standing in my aura."

"Don't worry. I forgot your name too."

"I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."

"Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

"Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"

"Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done."

"Ambivalent? Well yes and no."

"You look like ####. Is that the style now?"

"Earth is full. Go home."

"Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"

"I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

"A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."

"You are depriving some village of an idiot."

"If ######## could fly, this place would be a freaking airport."

ROFL....."I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable" that is my favorite!

You think all of these are restricted to work ? I saw a comeback for a stressed woman saying one of these . "Who lit the fuse on YOUR Tampon ? "

My favorite is now my signature

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I started out with nothing and still have most of it left!

I love these. I wish I had them when I was still working. But maybe I could use them on my husband.

I'm kinda fond of this one:

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LOL...the personal growth line....yeah, I resemble that.....

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Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun. But Mama, that's where the fun is....

Add the one: When I came in to work this morning, I had just one nerve left.
And damned if you haven't just got on it........

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Bye Y'all

I like the one about the office being hell with flourescent lighting. That's my job right now. We've lost 2 bosses in 4 months, our office is in total crisis mode, and now upper management is with us 3 days a week filling in as our bosses, and they don't have a CLUE. How these idiots ever got to be "upper management" is just beyond me. When we peons make a suggestion they just look at us like they would look at a child and then do it their way, which ultimately fails because they don't DO the work - we do. Errgh! Sometimes the people with the most "education" are the stupidist people.

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"What I'd like to do is go down in history as the President who made Americans believe in themselves again." - Ronald Reagan