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| The World Is A Joke Miles Of Laughter. Trucking Jokes, Humor, Funny Quotes, Cartoons,
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Trucker & Trucking related jokes, please. Trucker Jokes • Truckers DIRTY Jokes |
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10.22.2008
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| Addcted To Coffee You know you are addicted to coffee if ... You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You sleep with your eyes open. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. You chew on other people's fingernails. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse. You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas. You can type sixty words per minute with your feet. You can jump-start your car without cables. You don't sweat, you percolate. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. People get dizzy just watching you. Instant coffee takes too long. You channel surf faster without a remote. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. You can outlast the Energizer bunny. You short out motion detectors. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale. You help your dog chase its tail. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup. You ski uphill. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. You answer the door before people knock. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.  |
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10.22.2008
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| I love those! I have a list similar to that I got in an email.
__________________ Dynamite comes in small packages, Nitro comes in smaller ones, take your pick!  Lo there do I see my father Lo there do I see my mother and my sisters and brothers Lo there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning Lo they do call to me They bid me to take my place In the halls of Valhalla Where the brave may live forever. From the movie 'The 13th Warrior' |
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10.22.2008
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| You left out....your Doctor. Mine announced I had a serious addiction to caffeine while I was in hospital. And ordered decaf drinks only on my chart. Too bad the dumb### didn't tell them, not to let me wheel myself downstairs...for the real stuff and Mtn Dew. 
__________________ Insuring polititions fear that which goes bump in the night. Seek out their personal homes and family members. -- SU 83 __________________ |
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10.22.2008
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| My Daddy and Mama use to wake up at 3 am have a cup of coffee and then go back to bed until 6. Crazy! LOL
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10.22.2008
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| While hauling bumper hitches for Nationwide Trailer Rental System, I shared a motel room with one of their ramp truck drivers. He carried his own percolator. In the morning, he sat on the edge of the bed waiting for his first cup before he could move any farther. After drinking the coffee, he lit a cigarette to smoke while taking a shower. Back when coffee was served in a cup on a saucer, I noticed an old timer order a coffee and a coke. He poured half of the coffee into the saucer and refilled the cup with coke. It was now cool, and he gulped it down before pouring the rest of the coffee and coke into the cup. He gulped that down. By the way, a power nap after that routine would last about 15 minutes. When the coffee kicks in, you wake up and are good to go. |
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10.22.2008
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