Terminally ill loved one at home ...

Discussion in 'Experienced Truckers' Advice' started by gokiddogo, Oct 4, 2015.

  1. gokiddogo

    gokiddogo Road Train Member

    8,775
    14,727
    Mar 5, 2012
    Ontario Canada
    0
    I'm 28. My dad is 55. Diagnosed with terminal cancer. They gave him "months to as much as 2 years". He has been a heavy smoker all his life and a heavy drinker also. This cancer is his second, the first one was in his tongue and it was successfully treated with surgery and radiation and chemo. He entered into an alcohol rehab program and it seemed to be working, but only 2 weeks in their resident doctor recommended to go to emerg to have the right side of his neck checked. Cancer is back and inoperable. Chemo is the only option and basicly to just make his quality of life as good as it can be for what time he has left. Those of you that know me on here know my situation as as independent one truck show. I feel like I have to be close and cannot even think about going trucking just to make some more money when I want to spend time with dad. I have plenty of money to do nothing for quite a while. At least a year or more. All this has me rethinking the whole trucking thing. I am realizing how much time is spent away from home and I'm at a point where I still enjoy the job, but situations like this make me think I'd be just as happy doing something other than driving and even if it were a pay cut I wouldn't have to make any gambles about if I'd be far away when something happened at home and there would be no way I could cover the distance in time. At the same time, I do not like the idea of Monday to Friday same thing every week. As it is now I like being able to work hard for a while then come home and do nothing for however long. The local (home daily or small radius) trucking for where I live would be hard for me to carry on as an independent as I currently do and make the same money. I dont know if I should be seeking another career, or keep going forward and expand my company eventually and hire drivers so I can work the office. I also am growing tired of the never ending ridiculous government mandates. I have done everything I want except for one thing in trucking. I wanted to have my own show truck and run the southwest desert. That desire isn't all that strong anymore. I don't care to do flatbeds or tanks or whatever else. I like running my own thing in the reefer world and make good money at it but all of this is weighing so heavy on me right now I don't know what direction to take.
     
    dca, double yellow and browndawg Thank this.
  2. Truckers Report Jobs

    Trucking Jobs in 30 seconds

    Every month 400 people find a job with the help of TruckersReport.

  3. rachi

    rachi Road Train Member

    4,246
    5,225
    Feb 25, 2010
    SoCal
    0
    Sorry about you're dad. My dad died at age 57. Maybe do some part time runs every week that keep ya close to home. I see em' on Craigs list.
     
    gokiddogo Thanks this.
  4. okiedokie

    okiedokie Road Train Member

    9,705
    61,614
    Jun 13, 2011
    PNWET
    0
    Park it and spend time with your dad. Trucking will always be there. Good luck to you.
     
  5. HalpinUout

    HalpinUout Road Train Member

    7,074
    18,158
    Oct 2, 2011
    0
    Sorry to hear about your dad... A little over a year ago I was in the same situation as you my father had cancer and it became so bad I ended up coming off the road to be his full-time caretaker... I didn't have any income for 8 months but money can be replaced the lives of love ones cannot... I took care of my father until his passing and I wouldn't have change that for anything... I certainly would do it again in a heart beat... He was 59...

    Good luck to you and your father and family
     
  6. gokiddogo

    gokiddogo Road Train Member

    8,775
    14,727
    Mar 5, 2012
    Ontario Canada
    0
    I also think about what my mother is going to do after he's gone. She is only 54. I am one of 3, my 2 younger sisters each live a couple hours drive away. I only moved out a month ago, buying my own house (same town). I have watched the alcoholism slowly grow, and in hindsight I wish I had been more persistent with him getting help. I have watched mom cry for so long over it, and the first cancer (treatment ended june2015) he got home and shortly after fired up the whisky and cigarettes again. I was actually hopeful the alcohol treatment place was going to work this time and I would have my dad back. It feels like he was on his way back and now he's being yanked away. I think I'm going to keep it parked and have the insurance taken off it. I can't be away.
     
    NavigatorWife, okiedokie and rachi Thank this.
  7. gokiddogo

    gokiddogo Road Train Member

    8,775
    14,727
    Mar 5, 2012
    Ontario Canada
    0
    It's not like he was ever a bad man. Nothing was ever physical, but it was a mental prison. He isn't stupid either. He was a pharmacist (mom is also) who made his own business out of nothing and sold it for a lot of money. We never went without and money was never an issue. I know what everyone thinks .... Two pharmacists raise a ...truck driver? Wow ...
     
  8. HalpinUout

    HalpinUout Road Train Member

    7,074
    18,158
    Oct 2, 2011
    0
    Good Idea to park it trucking will be he when you are ready to return...

    I think the alcoholism and cigarettes is just something you need except an just try and be there to do what you can for your father... Cancer is nasty stuff and some of the stuff I had to see it do on my father I wouldn't wish on anyone...Terminally ill is just that, its not like having the flu...

    Once again Good Luck to you an your family
     
    rachi, TruckDuo and gokiddogo Thank this.
  9. gokiddogo

    gokiddogo Road Train Member

    8,775
    14,727
    Mar 5, 2012
    Ontario Canada
    0
    How long after his passing before you resumed somewhat "normal" trucking?
     
  10. brsims

    brsims Road Train Member

    5,295
    6,512
    Aug 8, 2009
    Meadville, PA
    0
    Park it! Nothing can replace time spent with family.

    Worst comes to worst, I'm sure you could find a driver for the rig to keep the numbers active and some of your customers happy while you stay at home and take care of your dad.
     
    HalpinUout and gokiddogo Thank this.
  11. HalpinUout

    HalpinUout Road Train Member

    7,074
    18,158
    Oct 2, 2011
    0
    He passed in Early September an I ended up going back to work in mid November... I was OTR before the sickness and after the passing went local...

    Being a full-time caretaker as I was is way more work than any job I have had in trucking... Its draining, stressful, somewhat depressing at times... Its a lot of work...
     
    NavigatorWife, TruckDuo and gokiddogo Thank this.
  • Truckers Report Jobs

    Trucking Jobs in 30 seconds

    Every month 400 people find a job with the help of TruckersReport.