Help me survive another year OTR

The start of the problem begins in your own head. I have been there and it is hard when you let the mentality of I can't start to take hold it grasps deeply and the longer you dwell on it the deeper it sinks till it becomes a reality. We became what we think about and in your case the away time long drive line hours and truck living make you dwell on a wish for more with I honestly believe everyone wishes for more but few truly try to go get it. If you do not challenge your mind you let it wander and as it wanders down the road of like it encounters many different things bother good and bad and often more bad then good and if you think of.... example that Ahole who speeds by to cut you off to take the exit exactly in front of you and how stupid they are and go into wish he crashes into Hope he dies into all car drives are like that guy you become mentality currupt in thinking. The only answer to your problem is to find what it is that you love what makes you happy. We are human we are not machine we need to live not live to work. The trucking profession will have you live in a truck and live a life of solitude. I have a wife a 6 yr old daughter a 18yr old son a house and have to take care of almost everything. It is overwhelming often. Sometimes I stay home for 2 weeks at a time. I should state I'm independent so might not be possible for you. But a 34hr life is no way to live.breath and think of how silly life really is.. we work to make money to buy stuff to throw stuff away to buy it again and then to die. For what? We need to enjoy life first then work otherwise we are truly not living

 

Now imagine driving before cell phones and FaceTime like many of us did. You had to carry a couple of rolls of quarters just to call and talk to the wife and kids.

 

Quarters really? I remember getting my first phone credit card number in around 1975. Just key in the number from any payphone and it billed to your home or business phone number.

 

I really relate to this thread.... and the comments are great!
Last time Mr. @red70tvhs posted was June... hope he is doing well now. Would like to know if he is still working where he was... and how he is doing.
After reading all the comments, I felt inspired to vent some because I am having a hard time making a decision to go back trucking...
I am an older lady... drove solo OTR, 48 states for 11 yrs... Used to take "hometime" in hotel next to my storage 4 times a year and stay on the road 3 to 4 months at a time... I had no life and have no home cause I have no family and no time or interest or reason to settle anywhere...
I enjoyed living in the truck, cooking in the truck... Drove 5 and half years for a mega and 5 and half years for a very small company.... No accident, thank GOD, got many awards and prizes for excellent work, was driver of the year in one of the safest small companies in the US in 2017 and awarded for most miles driven safely in 2018... Was making very good money, running between 130 to 140 thousand miles a year in trucks governed at 65 mph....
Had to quit in 2019 and go to Brasil to be with my dad who was terminally ill and passed away 10 days after I got there...
He was the last family I had.... I have no brothers, no sisters, no relatives, no husband... and no friends cause I have always been a loner in life....
After my dad's passing, I spent 7 months in Brasil, trying to sell things... but couldn't do it and came back to the US for almost a year to "recharge" but didn't work cause had to go back to Brasil and finish what I had started....
Finally got everything done there and returned to the US 3 months ago...
Now I have been 2 yrs out of the truck.... I don't feel the same any more and didn't want to go back trucking.... not at all.... But I don't know what else to do... and I am tired of trying to figure out something else... thought maybe go live somewhere else, do something else... after all I am so "free"... no family, no ties, right?
Maybe I should do something less stressful, easier on my health... try to make friends... being old and lonely is not always wise..
Besides, doctors in Brasil told me to change jobs... to work out everyday, to have a regular steady routine, to avoid stress... Yeah... right...
Stress, lack of sleep, unsteady routine, lack of activity is very damaging to the body... and can make some people feel miserable after a while...
All that didn't use to bother me in the past...
But now it does... Besides, nothing is the same in trucking and never will be.... Trucking has been changing a lot in the last 10 yrs and I really don't like the changes and the way it's going...
Folks have suggested local jobs.. For me, that would be more tiresome than OTR... Cause I would be driving in the city all day, bumping many more docks a day, maybe moving the load in the trailer, which would be harmful on my back and then, going to an empty home, having to cook, clean, do shopping, all by myself... there would be no time to rest enough...
I thought maybe I should try regional companies... but after visiting a few not too far from my storage/ hometime location, I realized that might not make much difference from OTR... Except that I would have to rent a place in order to take weekends off... which would be more tiresome and expensive than living in the truck as I was doing before...
Finally I am leaning towards going back to OTR.... and try to "survive" for a while... at least until I am able to figure out something else.
However, I will not run hard the way I was. As I get older now, I feel more tired, have more pains and it feels more and more awful to stay up all night... I must take better care of myself... ohhh... help me God...

 

Driving in the city is more stressful than country roads. With age comes the aches and pains of the road. And your body has to become adapted to it. Sounds like you have become used to not doing anything. And the older I get the more I can take all day doing nothing. In the South there are folks that have a few acres in the Country. They may have some farm animal's to look after, have some feeders for the deer and turkeys. No stress, if they want to take a nap they do. They don't worry about how they look in the mirror either. I am an O/0p do a little flatbed, no tarp. No forced dispatch. Not hard . Good luck

 

An awful lot of Drivers give it up after a few years. Sounds like you need a Local Job. Has to be something else You can do. Money’s not everything. Family is. Look around, try something different. Trucking will always be there, if You decide to Drive again.

 

Thank you @MTN Boomer ... you are very right about the aches and pains...
I became used to the "freedom" out of the truck... no electronic log... And I have been more active out of the truck, walking every day, working out in my hotel room, going to meetings at Church... I always find stuff to do...

 

How about moving to Brazil? I'm sure you could live cheap there, like I do in the Philippines. There is more to life than the USA and the way it's going I would say the best days are in the rear view mirror. No matter what though, you do not an income, if for nothing more than the psychology of it.

 

Thats great. I got back into a paper log truck last year. Walking is good exercise, I need to get back on it. Church can be a great benefit. It was the best day of the week for my Mom.