Question about family matter

Some guys poison their wives. They tell her EVERYTHING. You hear them in the restroom hugging the bowl, telling the wife how many kids he dropped in the pool. You hear him in the restaurant telling her what he's eating and who else is in the restaurant. Every times there's a problem with dispatch, every problem with shippers and receivers, every episode of bad weather and bad traffic. And the wife is at home SICK with worry. I've actually heard guys tell their dispatchers, "I promised my wife that I wouldn't drive today."

Dont call her during a tornado warning, or while driving in a snowstorm. Call her after. Someone is thinking, "But Six, if she calls and I don't answer, she will worry."

Only if you've already proven to her that you're a screwup. And if that's the case, continue on as you were. You don't go from being a screwup to big daddy in a woman's eyes just because you got a new job. And any of you guys going to school, if you struggle in school, don't tell the wife. Odds are you will pick up, so don't poison her mind.
Some of you don't agree. The last thing you want to do is hit the woman with a little reality tv style drama. " Oh, I don't know. I struggled. The instructor yelled at me. I froze. I was so nervous. I felt like crying and giving up. The end is nigh! Gloom and doom! Give me a tissue!" And then, a week later, "Oh, I got this. Aced it. Got that CDL!" One episode of crying and whimpering and you will never be big daddy.

 

I understand that, here is my take.

about 23 years ago I left for the road with a newborn at home and another on the way with limited help for my wife but I left nonetheless. She endured, she understood my three months away without contact would be hard and she would have to deal with it.

The travel was the risky part, not like it was when I returned to trucking where the job was travel and was dangerous.

She had to deal with the second kid arriving and had a friend help her with all of that, I wasn't needed anyway as she put it, I did my job - her words.

When I returned to trucking, it was a whole different ballgame then it was when I left the second time, we have cell phones and face time and all of that, but the job is dangerous and many of us don't return home or do in pieces.

Her worry was just that, she didn't like my time on the road, I talked to her three times a day and the kids at least twice, contrast that to my last traveling job it was better - they heard from me weekly if they were lucky. ON the other hand, the kids could care less, they were being kids and while they missed me, they had their things going on to pass the time and distract them from me not being there.

The thing is if it is money, then there are a lot of ways to make money without going on the road, the allure of the road for being happy is one thing, but too many believe the saleman's crap that is predominate in the industry is truly not what makes the money.

 

I can tell you now, anyone who isn’t involved not only in this industry, but driving as a career in particular, will ever be a properly sympathetic ear. I have a friend who got his cdl the same time I did. He used to tell his wife about the every day annoyances on the road. Within 3 months of that nonsense she was demanding that he quit. She rode him about it until he hung it up after 6 months.

Likewise, when I was a couple months in and almost died up in Idaho/Montana when I blew all the tires on the driver side of my trailer with no service, no fuel, no food or drink on the truck... I made the mistake of telling my mom about it when she called the next day. I had to spend the next hour explaining to her how much I loved my job, how beautiful it is where I am, and how there is literally nothing else I’d rather be doing than carrying 45,000lb of flour to a bakery in Montana in the winter. And that I’m having the time of my life doing it; it’s worth the risk to me.

People do not understand that at all. I dated a woman for a short time who was baffled because I took a call from another driver at 0300 and talked to him for 2 hours. He was tired and falling asleep, needed someone to help him stay awake and get there safely(on time). Why would you do that... because he’d do it, has done it, for me.

You’ll also get a lot of “that’s all you ever talk about” etc... well it’s all I ever do, so if you genuinely want to know how I’ve been it’s all I have to talk about.

You will find other drivers aren’t all that sympathetic either unless you’re both complaining about the same thing. Especially if you have an accident, take too long backing in or leave your truck in the fuel island because you’re about to #### in your pants.

 

I believe it was the winter of 2011. I was heading out of Minnesota to Corpus with a big load. Got to the shipper on a Sunday. Monday, I got loaded, but it snowed like hell. Left out Tuesday. Got shut down at the scale at Sioux Fall because of blowing snow. 3 hours later, they let me roll. Caught bad weather in Council Bluffs...had to park due to the OSOW rules. Next day, there was a break in the weather before the monster storm of the season slammed into North America from Monterrey to the NWT erritories. I got caught in Joplin. Monster storm. Temps hit -16 and the roads got shut down. Truck stops ran out of fuel.Drivers were sleeping on the floor in the drivers lounge. I did like everyone else...sit in the restaurant and watching the weather channel. We could see that there was going to be a break in the weather. We were gearing up, preparing to move.

One guy looked really sad. "What's wrong, hand?"

"I promised my wife I wouldn't drive today."

We all looked at him to see if he were joking. Want to hear the worst part? He had been there since the Sunday I arrived at my shipper in Minnesota.

 

If I told my wife about all the situations that I almost got killed or injured, she would have beaten me with a bat to keep me from driving.

 

Considering all the drivers out there that are ex seals, Green Berets and have to keep their hands registered with the FBI as dangerous weapons I don't blame you. (If I have to explain this you are either not a real trucker or are a very new one).