Millis OTR journal

Alright, sorry in advance for the long post. I'm throwing this out specifically to folks like @Suspect Zero and @Goobr54 who literally know me like family. But anyone else who wants to chime in as well is welcome. So I'm at a true crosroads. I'm right on the edge of getting hired from the place I applied to a couple weeks ago and can start by July 1st give or take a day. All my ducks are lined up for that. The concert job will be a piece of cake because of my contact. They'll need the same info but seems like a lot less hassle. Between the two jobs, the pay is roughly the same, and both will be a major raise compared to where I'm at. I had a real serious crisis of conscience last night when I was out with my wife and some old friends who know me very well. My wife has had some very candid conversations about trucking and how it has changed me. I'll own that, and I honestly don't think it's avoidable. We are still tight and our marriage is strong. But I know for sure what the concert job will do to me, and I also feel that's unavoidable. Occupational hazard, I'm worried that further change could be bad. She'll never have to worry about faithfulness. When I come home I am snugged up against the most beautiful woman I've ever met, can't do better than her. But patience is finite in any human being. I want to go, and she gave me the green light. I guess what scares me is how my friends responded. Again, people who have known me for a long time. Regardless of who you are, everyone has at least one demon begging to get out and go F up the world. I manage to hold mine at bay. Not sure what that job will do to me, but I'm good on either job. Guess I'm looking for some personal opinions.
And please keep religion out of it, because I don't make decisions based on a fairytale.

 

Right on. I'm worried about her not me. I AM the bad influence your mama warned you about as a child. Yea though I walk through valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Cuz I'm the meanest mf'er in the valley. Nothing at that job scares me except changing, because I know I will.

 

I understand that. Admittedly I go out more than I should. But this situation of changing jobs already has me in a new mindset. With the concert job, not sure about that. I know my horns will come out. But with the other job I'll be too busy to even miss it.

Yup, let's make that happen.