In-cab urination

Yep... I don't plan to be at a shipper for 7 hours. Especially shippers that won't let truck drivers use the restroom.



This photo was taken at a warehouse in Columbus, GA. I censored it... and yes... it says what you think it does. And yes, the ignorant ___ that made the sign couldn't even get the spelling right.

 

Me, my bare keyster, a guardrail on a lonely interstate and oh yeah the curious state trooper. Mental trauma right there boys.

 

LMAO...Me,2' tall corn,hundred acre field,state highway built on a levee above me....I looked like a yard gnome out there.God I hate central Illinois.

 

I think I would have dropped a Cleveland Steamer in the parking lot just on Principle, of course I wouldn't advise this course of action to any one else.

 

ROTFLMAO...My wife was reading this and reminded me of one worse.....Me and her running down a back road and that warning bubble ran up my side...No big deal,throwed the chocks on on my PU,whipped off the edge of the road and ran into the cornfield with an armful of Micky D's napkins....Corn was ready for picking and I could hear a combine way acrossed the field....Because the corn was ready I had to run about 15-20 rows into the field to keep from being seen....I dropped my britches and got down to making a little politician and that picker kept getting louder.I thought,he must be headed away from me cause I can hear him pretty #### good.....about 30 seconds later, I could here the actual stalks being cut and I thought"Holy crap,this guy is headed my way"....Well my water had already broke and I was having contractions every few seconds and knew if I tried to get out of there before the baby came,it would be born in my pants....I kept sitting there and he kept getting closer and I thought"This field is at least 50 acres,there is no way my luck is bad enough for that idiot to come right down through where I'm squatted down".....Wanna bet....Next thing I know I hear him like he's sitting right next to me and my old lady is laughing hysterically and hollering 'COMBINE #######....HERE COMES THE COMBINE...GET OUT OF THERE"....I was in a bind .The birth had started so I gave a good push ,got it out and went to cleaning up...Had I not been such a clean freak,this dude would have only seen me walking towards my pickup....but that not the way it worked out....I made my final swipe and went to stand up and there he was....I COULD SEE HIS SHOCKED EXPRESSION THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD!!!! I didn't really have time to pull my pants up any farther than my knees and I bolted with my underwear balled up around my shins.....I got completely out of his way,pulled my pants the rest of the way up and ran to the truck.My ol'lady was laughing so hard I thought she was going to have a stroke on me........I've ran a cornpicker before and can almost imagine what this guy went through.....He's running along above everything where he can see real well.."Wow,there goes a deer...pretty cool....oh look,there's a rabbit,glad I didn't hit him,move along little rabbit....WTF?????? THERE'S A DUDES NAKED ### .....HE'S HALF NAKED RUNNING THROUGH MY FIELD!!!!! #### hippies."

 

OMFG... tears are streaming down my face and I almost yakked up all the ice cream I just ate from laughing so hard. I can just imagine what the guy in the combine thought about you delivering a brown anal baby in his field... lmao!

 

I woke up a dozen times in the middle of the night laughing at his expression...I can still see his face.It was a scary deal,but funny as hell after the fact.

 

You boys (and girls) need to come hang out with poor ol' Mule for awhile...See how bad my luck is first hand.As the old saying goes "If I bought a cemetary,folks would quit dying"