Has your wife ever gone crazy with the checkbook and drained your savings?

Max out your contributions to your retirement account. No one can access that but you.
Don't touch it until retirement.
She can get half in a divorce, but if she pre-deceases you, it's all yours.

 

- strength of relationship
- communication
- setting short term goals (everyone needs a victory)
- setting long term goals (for the ultimate win)
- communicating and keeping each other focused on goals
- letting your wife get involved and ask her opinions about the business
- knowing she is also an individual , just as you are
- no micro managing of anything

 

You forgot the most important first step.
Choose your lifepartner wisely.

 

plus :

 

Absolutely, been with my wife for 27 years (since I was 17) some great times, some horrible times. We are empty nesters and I'm training her to drive so we can retire in about 5 years.

 

first, i would NEVER talk to any "good friend" about my problems. those "good friends" are not experts, in anything but gossiping.

second, my wife has been the "banker" since before we even got married, and still is in fact. (this is well over 55 year years now)

we have a home, cars, everything a retired couple can have, and still have money for christmas shopping for all our kids and grand kids.

what exactly are. "worthless trinkets"? a pair of earrings? getting her nails done at a salon? buying some clothing?

what about the driver? new cb radio with all the gizmo's? big screen tv in his sleeper? new wrist watch? new GPS? new laptop? Directv?

you see, we need to know exactly what the money HE IS spending, and the wife see's that, and she is stuck at home, and trying to make ends meet, and can't cuz of HIS SPENDING HABITS.....just going by "his word" to a "good friend", makes me very suspicious from the heading on the thread.

judgement free thread?

you really that serious?

 

I swear I hit the jackpot. I got cold feet before the wedding. Three days before the big day, she saw I was literally green around the gills. She chuckled and asked if there was anything she could do to make me feel better. I said, “yeah, call off the wedding.”

Well, she spent the weekend crying, and she wasn’t sure if I’d even show up. I did, and I’m glad. Twenty-five years later, separate bank accounts, separate financial responsibilities, zero conflict, lots of affection. And we make each other belly laugh.

But, yes, separate checking accounts is just a bandaid if there are deeper issues.

 

You all have seen it, but occasionally we will see a thread started by a Driver's wife complaining about the husbands settlements not leaving her much money. He is drawing so much in "Cash Advances" that there is very little left for the direct deposit into their account.
Works both ways.

 

That's how my dad and mom worked it. There was the joint account(s), then there was her account which got a monthly deposit, then he had several different accounts (he was a lawyer and needed access to cash near each county courthouse in the Chicago area, as until the mid 1990s you couldn't use a credit card to pay court fees).

Purchases out of the joint account were discussed ahead of time, but Dad rarely used that account for anything other than housing/utilities/etc. It solved a lot of problems before they started.

It wasn't like the money in my Mom's account was an allowance, but it avoided having both of them spending the same money. Early in their marriage my Mom made some big ticket purchases - necessary, well thought out expenditures. She did it on the same day my Dad did all of his Christmas shopping. When his credit card got declined he called in and told he was at the limit. Dad said "I'm sending you a check, raise the limit", then instituted the multiple account philosophy.

The early versions of Dave Ramsey had the "envelope method" where a person would physically divide the money from their paycheck into different envelopes - rent, electric, car, food, etc. That way a person couldn't "inadvertently" spend money that was budgeted for other things. The multiple account strategy is basically the same idea and is something I recommend to all of my trainees. They can still be "joint" accounts, with both people having access to them, but with only one person working out of each account it avoids errors.

 

I used the envelope method when I was in college... I have thought about reverting to that method.... But it is a huge hassle where I live so far from a bank.