GF says no to Estes xtraboard! Advice for a good alternative?

Talk about being dramatic.

OP, you're not simping man. You've been home 1-2 days a week for the past 2 years. That's not a lot. You're both young and everything works perfectly for both of you - Can you blame her for wanting to be physical more than a day a week in the prime of her life? She's in her 20's (or maybe early 30's), she's not a grandma. And you're not a grandpa either. Surely both of you want more at this age in your lives?

And it's not only about sex (although that certainly is a big part of it too). It's about bonding and creating memories with her. It's not some random girl you hooked up with for a one night stand. You've been with her for two years. I'm assuming by "working on marriage" that she's committed to being a good mother to your future children.

Based off of OP's posts in this thread, there are zero warning signs about this girl. She has stuck with him in what has essentially been a "virtual relationship" for 2 years despite being in the prime of her life.

Look OP I'm not telling you to simp but you can't blame a woman in the prime of her life wanting her man to be around more than 1-2 days a week. She wants to be around you more. That's hardly an unreasonable complaint to have.

OP, I would advise not to go full blown autistic by telling her "It's my way or the highway". Instead I would include her as part of the decision making process in a way that she'll listen to and understand, as I stated previously. Just discuss it with her in ways that will get through to her.

As an outsider looking in, I think a place like Estes sounds like the best opportunity for you and your future family. I hope you can convince your girl the same thing if you believe that too. But at the same time if you're serious about this girl and you've done your due diligence and all that, I wouldn't choose a job over someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Family before work. Work is the means to the end, with the end being family and your wife and kids. Not vice versa.

 

Well said! I’ve never heard the phrase Simp, before today, the old-timers used to call it being Henpecked, Lol, we called it being p####whipped. That’s pretty much all a bunch of B.S. While much of what he says is true, the Guy in the video obviously hasn’t found a woman he truly loves yet. If he ever does, all that will go right out the window. Lol. He’s still figuring that out. While I firmly believe in getting ones life on track, and then adding someone, it doesn’t always happen in that order. The one thing he has backwards, is putting himself first. True Love puts the other person first. Has to work both ways. Unfortunately it rarely does. The OP has a good thing going, in that, She would rather spend time with him, even if it means less money. It’s hard to find someone who truly Loves you, very hard. The rest is figured out as you go along. Compromising is the key. Making it work. Doing so will pay off more and more as the years go by. He needs to realize that they’re both evolving into the relationship. It’s hard to see now, but will be so clear years from now. So to the OP - Lay it all out on the table with her, discussing the Pros and Cons, along with your opinions. Be sure to ask for hers, and just be honest about what you think. No need for game playing, working an angle. Just makes for more problems down the line. Family first. Mr. Obvious strikes again! Good Luck.

 

A simp is a little bit different than those terms. A simp is someone who has no respect for himself and KNOWINGLY allows himself to be taken advantage of, for a variety of reasons, often times with receiving absolutely nothing in return. It's someone who allows himself to be walked all over, with the key point being "receiving nothing in return".

It's a fairly recent term, I only heard it in the past few years.

What OP has described is nothing like a simp and is nothing like simp behavior.

I'll put it like this: A simp would be somebody whose girl told him that she would rather he BE AWAY FROM HOME 5-6 days a week so that he could earn more money for her to go shopping or something like that. Rather than a girl who WANTS HER MAN TO BE HOME MORE OFTEN and is willing to take the loss of household income, so that she can spend more time with him and so that they can start a family together.

Think about that. There's a difference. A huge difference. His girl wants the household income to fall so that she can be around her man more. And there are people objecting to that in this thread, throwing out terms like "simp". No, just no. OP's girl is doing the exact opposite of encouraging simp behavior.

 

My thoughts exactly. My wife and I were both insecure when we were young. We worked through a lot. Stuck together. That can be a big Challenge especially when you’re young. Half don’t survive the turbulence. People in general take things for granite, once they have it. It’s human nature. Hard to see the big picture sometimes. Being with someone you know so well, for so long, 40 yrs now, is very satisfying. More than I ever imagined.

 

I figured you did. He’s a very smart gent.

 

One job offer he mentioned was 50 cents a mile and home every night, terminal less than 20 minutes away.

that sounds pretty good to me