Tale of Johnny Ray

Thank-you glyman. Kinda stalled out here lately. I'm actually debating on whether or not to continue. I've made a lot of mistakes, but it's my first time attempting something of this magnitude.
Every writing guide I have read advises against overplaying character development, which is exactly what I feel I may have done in regards to Cousin Jake. An interesting story, but doesn't exactly contribute to the plot.
I just got caught up in it and couldn't stop. I have given serious thought to making Jake into an entirely separate story. Lot of possibilities there.
But don't worry, I'm going to get Johnny through Nam.
I want this to be as original as possible and not copy scenes out of PLATOON or FULL METAL JACKET, two of my favorite movies.
I also made a mistake earlier with Tammy when I said she would be working right up until childbirth. I had to rethink that, realizing this was the '40s, not the 70s. It just wouldn't have happened. But working in this format is almost like a live performance. Can't take it back.
I also screwed up with Tammy's boyfriend. With her thinking he was dead. She was gone months by the time she called home and her momma would have told her about the mistake.
These things can be changed when I rewrite. If anybody here has noticed things like this, they haven't said anything, which I encourage by the way.
If you see a boo boo, by all means, let me know. That is one reason I chose to do this. It is as much a learning experience for me as it is entertainment for you guys and gals.

By the way, have you found DARLINGTON yet? I should have started it as a new thread. It is in this section with "Longest Time Out on the Road"

 

You couldn't have made a better compliment. I read every one of Tom Clancy's early novels.
If you liked him, I urge you to look up Stephen Hunter. He is not as well known but has a loyal following.
One of his main guys is Gunnery Sergeant Earl Swagger USMC retired. Won Medal of Honor in WWII. Came home to Arkansas and became a state trooper.
After he got killed, his son, Bob Lee Swagger became the lead character. He was a decorated sniper in Viet-Nam, a real bad dude also.
He can't write fast enough for me. He can outline a shootout or fight scene just like you were there. I tried to copy his style in the prison fight scene.

 

I wish I had more time to do this, but I have to work.
I run regional and home every weekend but have other stuff to do also.
Have laptop in truck, but unless I get a chance to sit around, which is rare, most of my break time is spent sleeping.
I just hope by the time I can afford to retire(not anytime soon) I will still have the inclination to do this.

 

This was the third time out on patrol for me and Ant. The first two were uneventful which only built up the apprehension of the unevitable.
Our destination was another of countless unnamed villages. I'm sure it had an actual name, albeit unknown to us.
What was merely a grid on the map as far as we were concerned, was somebody's homestead.
The villagers surely had not only a name, but a lifetime bond to their homes and surrounding land. Just as I did to faraway Brookfield, Georgia.
Every war movie I had ever seen depicted the townsfolk greeting the American troops with open arms. We were the beloved protectectors.
Not so here. We were only greeted with wariness and suspiscion. Cooperation came grudgingly.
The fact that we were heavily armed was probably the only thing that prevented outright hostility, but it was often seen in the eyes.

We had been walking about three hours.
There had been no reported hostile activity reported in this area for several months, but the further one got from base camp, the higher the likelyhood of running into Charlie.
It was constantly drilled into us to keep your eyes open and your stuff wired tight at all times.
But sometimes reality has it's way with the best of us. After hours of walking through unchanging terrain, complacency sets in.
When you start worrying more about the sweat running into your eyes and the mosquitoes in your ears, it's easy to get sidetracked from the business of staying alive.
One summer stacking hay I fell into a robotic state of just going through the motions.
As I reached for the next bale to toss up to Jake, his yell woke me up just as I was about to grab a cottonmouth who had sought refuge between the bales.
The cottonmouth moccasin is highly poisonous and will strike with little or no provocation.
Seeing a local viper slide across our path earlier brought that incident to mind.
Not one to believe in portents, or so I thought, I nonetheless made an effort to put myself on heightened awareness that day.

John Portman was walking point. Josh Stenson was behind him and I was third in line.
It was just a momentary reflection. The slightest glint of something exposed by a narrow band of sunlight coming through the leaves at just the precise angle required for me to see the wire.
And it was only there for a second. Did I really see it? Josh is twelve feet ahead of me. Surely he sees it. Why isn't he stopping?
Time slowed way down. Training dictates that I raise my arm with a closed fist.
The silent signal for those in line behind me to stop. But what about John and Josh? They won't see the hand signal.
We are taught not to yell out, which could give away our position. But the booby trap will give away our position anyway if tripped.
Even if they thought it was set off by an animal, they would still come and investigate.
All these thoughts in the blink of an eye. My overriding instinct was for the welfare of my fellow soldier.
"JOHN! STOP MAN!HOLD UP!" were the first words my brain came up with. I leapt forward to grab Josh's backpack to pull him down with me as I dove for the ground.
It was all so fast, yet I was watching in slow motion. Josh turned toward the sound of my voice as I reached for him causing me to miss his backpack strap.
As I fell facefirst to the ground I watched John take a final step as he turned toward me as well.
I saw his thigh engage the wire stretched across the trail. I saw it so clearly. I saw an inquisitive expression in his eyes, still unaware that his life would soon be over.
The trap was simple and devastating. Fragmentation grenades were tied to opposing trees on either side of the path a couple of feet above ground level.
The thin wire was tied to the pull pins on both grenades and stretched taut across the path.
The slightest pressure on the wire pulled both pins simultaneously. I heard them click as I went face down into the dirt grabbing my steel pot as I did so.
The explosion was deafening. The concussion dazed me somewhat and I was trying to understand why somebody kicked me in the ribs.
I rolled over to see Josh standing over me with one of his arms gone. Only a stump remained at the shoulder.
He was clearly in shock and attempting to walk. As he stumbled into me, he simply stopped, ready to fall over.
Then I saw a single boot behind Josh. Beyond the boot I saw John's legs. I didn't look any further.

 

As the remainder of the squad dispersed into two groups facing away from the trail the medic approached me on his hands and knees.
Josh had fallen over like a rotten pine tree and was laying across my legs.
"You hit man?" asked the doc.
"Don't worry about me dude, take care of Josh"
The medic just shook his head and said "He's gone man"
Only then did I realize half of his head was gone. A few seconds earlier I never noticed that, focusing on the spot where his arm used to be.
The medic shook me."Listen to me man. I said 'are you hit' ?"
"No, don't think so. Can't hardly hear anything though" I told him.
At least I think I did. I could feel my lips moving, but could barely hear myself.
"That's normal man. It will pass. Might experience a headache later on. Now we need to get out of this road.
Charlie won't be able to resist coming back here to admire the results of their handiwork"
Second squad was following our footsteps a few hundred meters back.
SGT Lykes, our squad leader, sent a man back to meet them and apprise them of our situation.
With darkness only a couple of hours away, SGT Lykes decided we would dig in and hunker down.
Once second squad joined us, doubling our numbers, we could set up a decent perimeter.
Sarge said we were doing exactly what they were expecting us to do, but what choice did we have?

 

First of all, a sincere thanks for all you do. I was active duty myself for nearly seven years. Played war games, drank a lot of beer and smoked a lot of dope mainly.
But you are in the real deal. I'm only sitting on my butt writing about it while you are doing it for real.
I'm pulling for all you guys and hope to see you make it home ASAP and get back in a big truck.
We have six terminals in NC and I am up there nearly every week so I will be easy to find.
It would be an honor to meet you.