Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Yes, Scarecrow I'm a real tough guy now. Bring it on ! Doesn't matter what size they are, I'll rip them to shreds. Hold it, what am I saying ? Even in karate the first thing done in competions is to weght classify. Yep, you don't see a small 5' 4", 120 llb whimp, going against a 6' 5 ", 240 lb muscle bound, killer. Of course there's always exceptions and that's the ones everyone talks and hears about. After all what good tale would it be about a little guy getting pounded by a giant ? But, if the little one beats the snot out the big guy ? That's a story ! My experience is usually the bigger they are, the harder you fall. Again, not always, but just most the times. Alot depends on other factors, such as reason for the fight, how much has each had to drink, who sucker punches whom, age difference , length of arm spam, weapons used, and so on. As Life Goes On, you'll see that once a runt, not always a runt. I get bigger and better at the art of butt kicking.

I was looking forward to my next shift after all the excitement. It was one of those double back shifts, got off at 7 am and returned at 3 pm. I made sure that I looked extra sharp. Freshly starched and pressed uniform, my paton-leathered imitation shoes, freshly polished nightstick, clean underwear, new socks, and even the bill of my idiot hat shinned up. Yep, I looked good as I entered the station. Lt Crap Pants was, well, crapping his pants. He looked like a wasp caught in a light-fixture. He was bouncig off the walls and was making footprints on the ceiling. I poured myself a cup of coffee and took a seat in the breakroom. Lt Crap Pants joked to me about what a good bust I'd made. Yep, he was impressed and had to supervise the two detectives working the case. He darted out of the room and returned six times to blow smoke up my butt. Chief E.T. then entered and requested me to step in his office. Still riding high from the night before I followed him.

The Chief sat behind his huge mahogany desk that had two large potted palm trees growing on each side. It was like sitting in the jungle. The leaves were so large they reached over and hung in your face. As the Chief bagan speaking I parted the leaves to hear his long drawn out speech.

" First Barney, good job last night. You did good, real good. Sgt Sot has recommended that you and dispatcher Pigface get written letters of appreciation put in your files. I don't normally give those out but you both did great jobs. Ya'll got some real hardcore violators off the streets. Again, job well done. Now, lets wait for the others to join us before we get into the second part."

Of course, by the time Chief E.T. had finished his first part, the stars were out and I was halfway into my shift. Sgt Sot took the seat next to me, Lt Crap Pants just darted around the room, Sgt Dumb As A Brick took a seat on the other side of me. Yes, I was sandwiched inbetween the two waring Sgt's. The Chief began again as I allowed the palmleaves to cover me.

" Now, men this is serious ! I won't stand for it ! A man in this department better not ever make a statement about any supervisors, unless he's willing to repeat those accusations. Barney ! "

I tried to climb the leaves in hopes of escaping thru the vines. I had a lump in my throat and my pants. All eyes in the room fixed on me, except mine. They had popped out and were rolling on the floor. A long silence followed before the Chief reloaded and began again.

" Sgt Dumb Brick has brought this to my attention. It seems that Barney has complained to him, that Sgt Sot is having the dispatch records reflect inaccurate times. This is a serious charge and even worse it appears that Barney is threatning to leave this agency. Seems he feels that Sgt Sot is unfairly targeting him, by having his reports changed for no good reasons. I'm going to allow Barney to repeat these alligations in front of Sgt Sot, so we can decide what action needs to take place. "

I felt the chair melt from under me, good grief ! I couldn't decide whether to run for the door, or maybe break out with a good song and dance." Oh way down South in the land of cotton, a place where time's forgotten, look away, look away, look away, Dixie Land. Er, well, yep, sure, I can see that, might be, but, I never use chopsticks ....."

Sgt Sot took over my brillant reply, " Chief, I know Barney would never make a false accusation. If if he said that about me, it's true. I have had the dispatcher logs reflect some time differences. It's just I like having our shift in shape to hand over to the next shift. It takes a few extra minutes, but it's worth it. Some of those convicts out there have police scanners. They wait for us to call out of service and then make their moves. As far as having Barney redo reports, Im guilty of that too. Barney is one of the best cops I've ever worked with. I want him to be the very best. Maybe, I've ridden him too hard. "

I finally came out from behind the Palm Tree, " Chief, I've never, ever, ever, told Sgt Brick any of this, it's news to me ! "

All eyes tuned to Sgt Brick as he fessed up, " Well, it wasn't Barney that came to me. It came from a confidential source. It's true or I wouldn't of come to you Chief ! "

The Chief turned blood red, " Sgt Dumb As A Brick ! You better get your story straight, I've got a good mind to demote you to dogcatcher ! Don't you ever repeat gossip to me. Now, if your so called source wants to come forward, then have him come forward ! I'm sorry Barney and to you Sgt Sot, I've been lied to. This better not happen again, Sgt Brick. Now, you need to appoligize to both these men. "


Sgt Brick did just that and we left the meeting. Lt Crap Pants was first out of the room, he flew out the window and buzzed away. I told Sgt Sot that I was sorry and had a good idea who had started all this up. Sgt Sot just laughed, " Hell, Barney I'm not stupid ! I know who's behind this too, don't worry we're just fine. "

I shook Sgt Sot's hand and went on patrol. My old buddy Slick was waiting for me when I returned to the station. He was all clickey heeled and gum smacking, " So, what happend Barney ? Did they fire Sgt Sot ? I heard ya'll had a meeting. So, what happend ? "

I had to hold my temper, " Slick if your ever pull that crap again, I'll kick your butt from here to the county line ! "
Slick crawled away, muttering something about, go ahead and take up for the Sot.

I went home and licked my wounds. Great, do a good job and see what that gets you. I decided to enter the shift wars. Yep, let's get it on !

Let's break, Snazzy1.

 

Sgt Sot and I closed our ranks, we didn't play with the other shifts. We lead the department in felony arrest and left the competion in the dust. The other shifts got more jealous but couldn't keep up. Yep, Sgt Sot and I were a heck of a crime fighting team. One night an 18 wheeler was stolen by an x-con. He'd hijacked the driver and headed out with the stolen truck. It was loaded with cigarettes for delivery to a Fort Worth warehouse. An all points bulleton was broadcast and about an hour later the stolen rig entered the City of Idiots. Sgt Sot was the lead pursuit vehicle, followed by 10 Fort Worth units, 4 county units, 2 DPS units, 2 news vans, a taxi cab, an ice cream truck, and an ambulance driven by a lawyer. Now, your asking where was I ? Of course, sitting on the Interstate watching all the action pass by. The crappy patrol car had overheated, so I cheered the parade as it passed.

The chase soon became a rolling shoot out. Yep, the con decided to raise the stakes. Boom, boom, bang, bang, got you, did not, did too, did not. So, the pursuit ended 20 miles later. The ole 9 wheeler tried to make a sharp left turn in a residental area. Having all the tires shot out on it's passenger side the rig gracefully rolled over in front of a resident's home. It was just at sunrise and the bullets were still flying. The resident, an old white haired woman, came shuffling out. She was in her robe and wearing furry house shoes. She reached down, picked up her newspaper, waived, and went back into her house. Yep, just like an every day event, ole semi in the yard, and a cop shootout. Nothing new here. The news crew got an excellent shot of Sgt Sot dragging the suspect out of the now burning rig. Yep, cigarette smoke could be seen from a 100 miles away.Sgt Sot got a metal of valor out of that. The x-con got a life sentence in a non-smoking prison. I got a new fan belt for the crappy patrol car. Yep, life was good.

My wife was wanting us to buy our own home. She had some good points. A tax write off, the girls would be happier, she'd take better care of a place of our own, I'd get more sex out of it, she'd be happier, I'd be happier, the world would be brighter, and so on. So, I knew that anyday now, just any day, that big city would be calling me. So, I did what all men do, I lied. I threw the ole that's a great idea at her. But, we need a good sized down payment for a place of our own. I'll get a second job to help raise us some capital. In reality I was trying to get a nest-egg saved up for our big move South. She swallowed it hook line and sinker. So, I took a job at a large apartment complex as their security officer. The apartments were just inside Fort Worth but within a block of the City of Idiots. Most folks didn't know where the limits were. The Chief approved my extra job and I was ready to go. The deal I got wasn't bad. A large 3 bedroom, with utilities furnished, for free. Yep, free, no cost, nada, not a penny, and best of all it saved us about $ 500.00 per month. My wife had been on her job for over 2 years and had done well. She got piece work pay. For each piece she gave out she got paid for it. No, she got paid for each golfball she wound. See, golfballs are made of rubber strings, wound around a small hard core. For each one she wound on her machine she got extra pay. It actually made her rate of pay about $ 15.00 per hour. Now remember we're talking about 1981. That union job of hers was a gold mine.

Let's break for refreshments, smoke em, if you got em. Snazzy1.

 

Things rocked along for awhile, I started stumbling into stuff, like I had done in Mayberry. A few drug arrest, weapons charges, stolen vehicles, the usual stuff. One night Sgt Sot and I were dispatched to a neighborhood bar that had closed for the night. A concerned citizen called in that a burglar had entered inside thru a back window. I was the first unit on the scene and drove up in my blackout mode. I sneaked up and sure enough, found that the rear window had been pried open. Sgt Sot joined me minutes later. We were putting our game plan together, when we heard a loud crash. Sgt Sot ran around the West side of the building, I ran around the East side. It was pitch black and I didn't want to use my flashlight. You know, all stealthy and stuff. So, as I run around towards the front, the suspect runs straight into me. Yep, eyeball to eyeball, face to face. He froze and I stood still. We looked at each other, then he decided to turn and run.

I ran after him and yelled, " Stop! Police! Stop or I'll shoot ! "

Of course the suspect kicked it high and ran like a deer. I managed to catch up to him and grasp ahold of his left arm. It came off at the elbow. I stood there holding a left arm.

Sgt Sot ran up and had to ask, " Where'd he go ? "

We both stood silent looking at the arm. The hand was wiggling and it was a sight to behold.

Sgt Sot asked, " Did you shoot him, I didn't hear you shoot him."

I just stood there holding the arm. Sgt Sot spotted the suspect laying in the street, not 50 ' feet from us. Blood was squirtting straight up and the suspect was out cold. Sgt Sot knelt down and with his fingers and thumbs applied preasure on the nub. I placed the arm on Sgt Sot's hood and radioed for an ambulance. Before it arrived, I removed my gunbelt and used my pants belt to make a makeshift turnikit. The suspect almost bleed to death. I'd seen more blood before but not from anyone that had lived. Since it appeared a suspect was going to die in our custody. The detective who was called out, in turn called out Lt Crap Pants. The Lt was his calm self. He ran around the building six times, stopped, and took off again.

The detective took several photos of the plate glass window that the suspect had jumped thru. It appeared that the suspect didn't quite clear the glass and came down short. The jagged glass had severed his left arm. So, when he ran, all that was holding it on was skin tissue. Well, I yanked that loose. Yep, case of the one armed burglar was solved. We did put the arm on ice and sent it in the ambulance. I later learned that it was reattached but of course not working too well. I honestly felt sorry for the guy. The young x-con got a stiff sentence. He was a 3 time loser from California, out on parole when this occurred. Yep, 50 years, plus 25, and not eligilble for parole for 30 years. Not, to mention just a one armed convict for the rest of his life. Sad, real sad. It sure wasn't worth the $ 12 he got from the bar.

Life Goes On, Snazzy1.

 

Arghh! My goodness, I thought I'd had an interesting life. And I have, up to a point, but good grief, that's gross! At first I thought it was an artificial arm. I don't know how you managed not to pass out or something!

 

Yep Nyegere, it's a sight that still plays over in my mind to this day, even though it happend some 17 years ago. Glad you and Scarecrow are still hanging around. Now, Life Goes On.

The shift wars got got real nasty. Sgt Brick sweet talked the Chief into promoting Officer Slick to being in charge of the reserve department. Of course the promotion wasn't a pay raise or even a higher rank. It was a title something like ' Officer In Charge Of Reserves ', or O.I.C.R. myself and Sgt Sot reffered to it as ' Our Ignorant Crazy Reserves '.

In any war it's best to overwhelm your enemy. So, Officer Slick got every ceretified x-security guard that I had sponsored thru the the county/college reserve school. Yep, a decision that came back and bit me on the butt. A few of the x-guards I didn't even know. I hadn't even worked with them. It seems that ole Slick had brown-nosed my ole college professor to allow him (Slick) to sponsor the reserves. So, the City of Idiots got a windfall, a bunch of state ceretified police reserves at no cost. Well, they did buy each reserve 2 uniforms and furnished their equipment. What the Chief saw was a cheap way to hire more full time worker bees. Yep, for the low cost of paying for the additional training the city got fully ceretified patrolman. Of course that was a good deal, but there was a problem. Most these guys were dirtbags, idiots, worthless, pot-smoking, out of shape, stupid, lazy, thieving, back stabbing, perferted, ignorant, job hopping, pill dropping, scum. Of course they fit right in the City Of Fools.

I couldn't figure out how Slick got so much pull with the Chief. Well, I found out that ole Slick had claimed he was my supervisor at the now defunct security company. Yep, to hear ole Slick tell it, I was his best security patrolman and he had sponsored me thru the reserve school. Yep, he even took credit for getting me hired on in Mayberry. I liked to have gagged. That guy was nothing more than a conartist. Talk about a piece of work, geez. Anyway Sgt Sot and I put our heads together. I knew that one of the reserves was a decent guy. He wasn't the brighest of the bunch, but he was an older man with a family. He was likable and I trusted him. So, we got him assigned to relief shift with us. Reserve Baby Huey, he was well, just like the cartoon character. He stood 6'4", weighed 230 lbs, was 50 years old, and was a stupid as they come. A perfect cop and a real winner. He'd worked dayshift at the security company. I knew him and he was one of the first I sponsored. Yep, Baby Huey was a real nice man. Just not too bright.

Lets break here Snazzers and Snazzettes, your Snazzy1.

 

Ain't it funny how in life there are those times when you help people gain an edge they use that edge to stab you in the back? I've personally had a Slick or two in my life, Snazzy. I can completely relate to the frustration you may have felt at the time.

And, of course I'm still here reading every word. You're my ticket to my first novel, my friend! Can't wait to hear the trucking years.

 

Yep Scarecrow, a good deed never goes unpunished. This world is full of Slicks and that's sad. Hope these cop stories aren't getting too boring. The truck years are slowly getting closer. Let's see if we can keep anybody interested. After all what good is a book without any readers ?

The first casuality of the shift wars was Sgt Dumb As A Brick. Sgt Sot and I had done well with relief shift. So well that Sgt Sot got a promotion to Lt Sot. Yep, the booze hound was now Lt Sot, commander and chief of the whole patrol division. What a deal. Lt Sot got assigned dayshift and brought me along with him. Sgt Brick was so angry and jealous he resigned. Now this is where the story gets unbelievable. I got a letter from the big city. Yep, a rejection letter. Seems I wasn't up to the big city standards. In their view I was a job hopper, had poor credit history, wasn't female, black, brown, or yellow. I was mortified ! Now it is true that I had a repossesion on my credit report. Remember that good times van from my army days ? Well the army buddy that bought it from me refinanced it thru the dealership. The dealership never transferred the title or changed the finance contract. So, without my knowledge the van was repossesed for non-payment. I never even got a late payment due in the mail. But, my credit report had that on it. As far as a job hopper it was true that I never held the same job for over 2 years at that point in my life. I was 30 years old and had been a carpet cleaner, body man, mechanic, parking attendant, chauffer, truck driver, scurity guard, cop, police chief. In my defense, I'd also spent 3 years in the army and had earned an honorable discharge. Not to mention attending the junior college and earning as associate degree in criminal justice.

Now as far as not being a minority, I was guilty. Well, it was rumored that my great. great, great, grandmother, on my mother's side, was a indian squaw traded for a jug of moonshine. That will explain alot that comes up later. Anyway, I don't have problem with equal rights. The disadvantaged needed some type of equal playing field. But, I wasn't the one who did anything wrong. Maybe my ancestors did but I didn't. Matter of fact my father's father, grandpa Luige hadn't even come to America untill after 1900 . Dang sure weren't any Indian massacres, slave owners, Alamo's, woman rights violations, back then. Anyway, it was a hard pill to swallow. Lt Sot felt my pain. He took me to Las Vegas for a three day drunk. It's all a blurr now but I'm sure we had good time. Now, some of the officers at the city of fools thought that Lt Sot and I were good buds. Drinking buddies, two booze hounds, that drank ourselves silly and thumbed our noses at the sober idiots. Truth is I never had a beer with Lt Sot untill he made Lt. Some 8 months after my hire in. I didn't know anything about Sot's personal life. After he made Lt we'd go party like no tomorrow. Yep, I was as bad as he was. We'd drink untill Elsie came home. Sot's wife was a pure bred Hawaiian native. A very attractive lady and well mannered. Why she put up with Sot nobody knows. I think she loved him and saw him in a different light. Sot was a very intelligent man and more driven than any man I've ever known. His problem was being a rebel without a cause.

Reserve Huey came crying to Lt Sot about his situation. Huey couldn't afford to attend his full time ceretification school. Since reserves weren't paid they had to swim on their own during the full time school. Lt Sot gave Huey a check for $1,000. No, not a loan, a tax free gift, given in the name of doing a good deed. Huey cried and hugged Sot. I drank another beer and grinned. Yep, say what you want about drunks but Sot was as big hearted as they come.

My sanity was tested when I learned that Sgt Dumb As A Brick was hired on as a Fort Worth Police Officer. Good Grief ! That stupid idiot didn't even know how to tie his own shoes. One of his bonehead stunts at the city of fools made academy news. Yep, the local police academy's showed an example of stupid. Sgt Brick had investigated a fatal traffic accident and had written a traffic ticket to the drunk driver at fault. Yep, a $ 25.00 fine for negligent homicide. No arrest, no jail time, nothing, but a $25.00 fine. The murdering drunk paid the ticket and was home free. Double jeporady was involved. Nope, once the city accepted the fine that was it. What a deal.
It seems the Fort Worth Academy was using this as an example of dumb, when Dumb AS A Brick walked out. Yep, after one week his Fort Worth cop career ended. I did discover that Brick wasn't as Dumb as he looked. He had married the daughter of a Fort Worth police captain. That's how he got on. Yep, not what you know but who you know.

Lets Break Snazz Folks, Snazzy1.

 

I hated dayshift, it was about being an errand boy. Jail detail was like feeding at the zoo. I'd slap a piece of bologna between two slices of bread and toss it to the animals. I'd bring the old phone by and let them cry to their loved ones. Run by the local Winn Dixie and pickup said bread and bologna. Stop off at Mickey D's for the free breakfast for the elite office workers. All the dayshift staff were as big as walliruses. Rumor had it that they ate prisoners and some of the inmates believed me. Then there was the school crossing chore. Watch the little idiots cross the street and hope they got flattend. Then work five minor accidents in a row because sober people can't drive. Work a couple of daytime burglaries because you didn't have time to patrol and prevent them. The worse was city ordinance enforcement. Yep, the old rat on your neighbor game. I was miserable !

I finally got a break, Reserve Baby Huey became Officer Baby Huey. Yep, he'd somehow got thru his training. So, we divided the work load. Lt Sot spent all his time blowing smoke up Chief E.T.'s butt. The three stoogies, E.T., Lt Crap Pants, and Lt Sot sat around all day telling old war stories. I kind of felt sold out. I have to admitt they did tell some real good ones. I liked all three men, but they just seemed to feel that if you weren't x-Fort Worth, well you know. So, I tried to teach Baby Huey some law enforcement skills.

Let's see. Yep, like the time I arrested a pot smoker, at high noon, toking away on a rolled one, in the school's parkinglot. Officer Huey was my backup. Pretty simple, I cuffed the stoned but polite offender and allowed Huey to transport him. I handed the evidence over to Huey and waited for the impound wrecker. After clearing the scene I drove to the station. The passed out suspect was on the jail floor with a big smile on his face. Baby Huey was pacing back and forth.

I knew something was wrong, so I asked, " Say Huey, what's up ?
Huey was red as a beet, " Dad burn it ! Dang fool ate the evidence !
I was curious, " How'd he do that ?
Huey explained, " Well, you see ! I brought him here and placed him in the hold over cell. I set that bag of maryjuwaney on the table here,"

Before Huey could finish his explanation. Well, I couldn't help myself. I laughed myself silly, yep doubled over laughing. Matter of fact I couldn't quit laughing. I laughed so hard that I was rolling on the floor. All of the laughing brought the rest of the dayshift hyenas. Poor Huey never did live that one down. Of course that was just one instance.

A few days later I chased a stolen vehicle into a trailer park. The suspects got out and ran into a trailor. It was a tense situation because a 10-28, 29 check, showed the suspects had committed an armed robbery in Fort Worth. Yep, even the three stooges came out on this one. Lt Sot used a bullhorn to talk the suspects out. The Chief was busy watching Lt Crap Pants huff into a paper bag. It was suppose to keep the Lt from hyper-ventalating. Baby Huey was our assist man. As the suspects stepped out, I cuffed them as the Lt covered them with his 9 mm. I then passed the suspects back to Officer Huey. Lt Sot and I then swept the trailer for any other hidden suspects. None were found but a large safe was sitting in the living room. Yep, light bulbs went off. We'd had a burglary just the night before where a safe had been taken. So, of course we had to show and tell. Yep, the Chief, Lt Crap, Lt Sot, myself, and Baby Huey all stood in awe. Man, what a piece of good police work. We all slapped each other on the backs. Let the good times roll, what a bust.

The Chief barked out his orders, " We'll need a warrant ! I know it's in plain view but lets cover our butts. I don't want any slick lawyers getting any evidence thrown out !
Lt Sot agreed, " Yep, your right Chief. Remember the dolittle case in 78 ?
Lt Crap added his summation, " " , the bag nodded up and down.
I put my two cents in , " Make sure you read them their rights Officer Huey.
Officer Huey, " I'll do that right now !

That's the second the scene turned frantic. Like a barber quartet the Chief, both Lt's, and I sang the ole tune, " What are you doing in here ? Where the hell are they ? "

Officer Huey was out the door first, Lt Crap was a close second, Lt Sot just a heads length ahead of me. Yep, the two cunning jackels had eluded the snoose. Just walked away, gone, disappeared, vanished. But, we got em. Yep, just took a Fort Worth helicopter, 111 uniformed officers, and half the night.

Good ole Officer Baby Huey, what a cop. Lets break here. Snazzt1.

 

Nothing like the feeling of being hung out to dry Snazzy I have to hand it to you, all the times you've been through so much, you have handled yourself very well!

 

Yes Attitude, I held my my own for awhile but read on as, Life Goes On.

When Sgt Brick had resigned it left a Sgt's posistion open. So of course all the officers felt they were best quailfied. In truth none of us were really prepared for the posistion. Lt Sot pushed for me to be selected. Sgt Flash wanted a buddy of his, from another department to be hired in as a Sgt. Sgt Warts campained for an x- security guard, x-cop, dope smoker, and nice guy by the name of Pothead. I knew Pothead from the defunt security company. Matter of fact we'd worked midnights together there. The only thing that I had against Pothead was, he was a lazy, worthless, high as a kite, dodge drafting, untrustworthy, womanizing, phony, puke. Other than that he was okay in my book.

I hadn't worked for the City Of Idiots for more than month when Pothead was hired on. The Chief had asked me about him. Now, I wasn't one to hold a man back. I knew that Pothead had a sad tale. He had joined the army at age 18, spent about six months in Nam, and decided he didn't like it. So, he faked an injury and got sent stateside. Then he went awol and was arrested for desertion. The militay gave him a break, they settled for 30 days stockaide time, a general discharge, and demotion to civilian. Then Pothead caught another break. He married a young girl who's parents were well off. They owned half the city just West of Idiot City. So, her Daddy pulled some strings and Pothead became an Officer there. He did okay and even made Sargent's rank. Then one night he and his wife got into a fight. The local cops found marijuanna in Pothead's pocket, when they arrested him. So, Pothead was given another break. Resign from his job, give up custody of his baby daughter, and get out Dodge. So, that's what he did. He ended up working as a security guard and smoking his beloved dope.

I just explained to the Chief that I hadn't worked long enough with Pothead to give an opinion. That was a lie, but I honestly felt the guy could change. He looked good in a uniform, was polite, and did have his full police commision. That's all the Chief cared about because the city just couldn't get ceretified officers. So, Pothead, became Sgt. Pothead, after only being a patrolman for six months. Was I mad ? Kind of. But, hey I liked the action. You know, mixing it up and catching the bad guys. So, since Pothead had been assigned to second shift, I took his place there. Sgt Pothead took over relief shift and Lt Sot stayed on dayshift.

In any war there are casualities, some are worse than others. In the shift wars Sgt Dumb As A Brick was the first to fall but not the last. Yep, the Chief had decided to go on vacation and to all's amazement he chose to leave Lt Sot in charge as acting chief. Everyone knew this was a slap in the face to Lt Crap Pants. He'd been the Chief's right hand man for years. Matter of fact when Lt Crap spoke, if you looked closely at the Chief's lips they moved. Yep, Lt Crap was just the Chief's stooge, his dummy, a man to do the Chief's dirty work. Lt Crap was the internal affairs officer and over the investigation division. He must of heard footsteps when his title of patrol Lt was handed to Lt Sot. Yep, a storm was brewing. So, me and Lt Sot did as we always did. We went to his million dollar mansion and had a party. We drank ourselves silly and decided to go to a breastbar. Yep, heck of a night. I knew I was over my limit and called my wife to come get me. Lt Sot had met up with some off duty Fort Worth cops. He begged for me to stay but I had to work the next day. This was Lt Sot's weekend so I left and he stayed. Well, no he didn't. He got a snoot full and decided to go do some Chiefing. Yep, he went to the station at 1 am and decided to do what all drunks do. He made an ### of himself.

Now to me if we had been working for a real police department, I could see what an awful thing Lt Sot did. Yep, staggering around, barking orders, and dancing with the palm trees, was a serious offense. On the other hand what did the Chief expect. He'd hired Lt Sot out of the drunk tank and knew his past. I sometimes felt that the Chief hired only officers with blemished records. After all, what deal. He could claim he was just giving a man a second chance. Then if anything ever came up? Fire the bum !

Anyway, Lt Crap drew up the complaint and had Sgt Flash sign it. Yep, a showdown. So, when Chief E.T returned all hell broke loose. A summary courtmartial was held in the Chief's office. I was to be placed under oath and drilled by Lt Crap Pants. I decided to take the fifth. Yep, I didn't show up and drank that 5th at home watching old Chuck Conner's reruns.

Branded, marked with a cowards name, what do you do when your branded, but you know your a man ? Where ever you go for the rest of your life, you'll beeee branded, marked with a cowards name. What do you do when your branded, but you know your a man ? Doot, da-doot, doot, doot, do. ( Kind of catchy, isn't it ?

Anyaway what Lt Sot did was fall on his sword or broken sabor. Yep, he quit, gave up, walked out, and left. Now, I guess he had it coming, he knew better. What was he thinking ? I honestly don't think he was. He just did what drunks do. It was a shame because now he'd been let go at two agencies that he'd risked his life for. He was one of the bravest men I ever knew. He did find a job with another department later on. I'm sure he got ran off there as well, but hey, I bet he's still one heck of a guy.

Later Snazzers, the Snazzy1.