Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Yep, Big Duker you were dang close where these truer than fiction tales took place, as Life Goes On.

I don't know why they call it a love seat, it's just a small couch. Anyway, I was sitting on it and had my feet on the coffee table. I don't why they call them coffee... Never mind. My homework was to read several books that Sid had suggested. Let's see, Gaming For Idiots, Bet The House, Gambling 101, What Are The Odds, and The American Mob. I placed the book down and dimmed the pole lamp. The apartment was pretty neat and kind of grew on you. The love seat faced the sliding glass door that exited onto the balcany. I could see the lake and the far bank, which sparkled with the airbase's lights. I tilted my head back and shut my eyes. My mind voices spoke freely. Man ! This is tough ! Yep ! So, let's review. Okay ! I guess what Sid said about the house always wins is right. I always thought that book making was risky, but it's not. You win no matter what ! Let's see, the juice is the percent that the house charges for processing the bet. A line bet is betting without the point spread. An underdog is the favorite. NO !

The favorite is the one that's suppose to win! The underdog is least favorite and that's why there are point spreads. The more even the odds, the more bets are placed, the more bets, the more juice. A push is a tie and bad for the house, all money is refunded, or credit is given. A beard is guy who places a bet for an unknown gambler. We do dime lines, which means a ten percent juice. Vegas gets less, but it's legal there. A safe house is where the banking is done. An open shop takes all bets, a closed shop is for the select few, usually high rollers.

I got up and fetched myself a can of iced tea. My head throbbed from all the cramming in of the new information. I pressed on, because I sure didn't want Sid to think that I was an empity suit. That's a good one ! Empity suit means a worthless guy. Geno is the Boss here, but a Captain, or Capo in the Dixie Mafia. Carlos is the Big Boss of that Family and Elmer is one of his Lt.'s, but an underboss for Geno here. Sid is one of the Big Man's Conigliere's, (advisors). He's the most respected guy in the outfit and has as much pull as Geno does, when it comes to Family Matters. There are only six made men in Geno's outfit. There's Geno, Elmer, Sid, Johnny the Walk, Big Owl, and the one I haven't met. A made guy must take the Omerta, or known as the oath of silence. It's a ceremony performed in front of least 3 made men and it must be sanctioned by the home office. Home office, heheheheh, shut up mind voices !

I finally finished my study session and gave my brain a rest. I just hoped that I was ready for Sid's exam. This stuff was over my head and it made me feel sort of silly. I mean the roaring 20's were over and I felt like that I was rehearsing for a part in the Godfather. But what did I know ? I was just a bla, bla, bla, bla, as Life goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Suggested reading, Snazz?

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Yep, Ducks that was one of the text books. Keep posting them truer than fiction pictures, as Life Goes On.

I did fine on Sid's pop quiz and tried to become a good bookie. It was easier than I thought. The local's knew the operation better than I did. We had the booking slips laying right ontop of the bar in plain view. Yep ! They were printed out as promotional raffel tickets, by some fake travel agency. Well, actually they were printed up by the outfit and looked legit. On one side was the NFL games schedules. You know, it had the teams listed, like the Ducks v Cows. There was even a box to check, for who you picked as the winner. So, the Bettors would just check thier selected team, or teams, if betting on more than one game. On back was the part about registering for the fake drawing. The cutomers betting knew to just initial that part, so it couldn't be traced back to them. Behind the bar was a large poster, it had the same schedule games listed, and next to it was a shelf. Yep, the shelf had toy miniature football helments all lined up in order. The number on the helment was the point spread. So, the Ducks being first on the list and being in front of the v Cow, meant the Ducks were the favored team to win. By looking at the first helment, which had the number 7, meant that the Ducks had to win by 7 points. The second game was Pigs v Hawks, so the Pigs were listed before the Hawks, meant they were the favored team. Helment number two had a # 3, so Hawks by 3 points, and so on.

Now, the money part was slick ! The Palm Club was a closed shop. That just meant to bet, you had to be known by us. That was easy, because we ran bar tabs for the asking. Yep, we had a little notebook with the folks names listed. As soon as customer filled out his betting slip, he knew to request his last weeks unpaid tab. I'd would sashay over and pretend to show it to him. Actually, I just Palmed, (get it), the amount he handed me and took his betting slip. I'd go over to the cash register and ring up $100, on the Ducks. No ! Not really, it was in code, but you get the idea. Anyway, the customer kept the torn off portion of the raffle ticket as his receipt. Of course, any half blind, stupid, rookie, ignorant, vice cop, on a bad day could of spotted the action. But, for some reason none of them every came in. Matter of fact, they never came inside any of Elmer's clubs. I wonder why ?

In defense of the cops, I will say that the vice cops, were probably were the only ones trained to enforce illict gaming. A normal flat foot most likely would of missed it. I know that I would have ! I guess another thing is, what was it hurting ? A few dollars being wagered on an American sport, is like eating apple pie. Yep, so a few million dollars got into the hands of the Mob. What's the big deal ? They have eat too ! Heck ! It wasn't like we were killing anybody ! Well, we'll see, as Life Goes On.

Nighty night Sbazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Sid's retirement party was held about a week after the Super Bowl. We had been kept busier than bees and I was happy to see the season end. Sid had taught me alot and we'd become very close. He was a character and I'm sure that back in his prime, a real bad character. Some of his stories had been hard to swallow, but none the less very interesting. I drove Elmer's Cadillac, with Elmer sitting shotgun. Geno, Sid, and Big Owl, kept each others company in the backseat. We were dressed to kill and arrived in Dallas a little after dark. Our final destination surprised me. I figured we'd end up at a plush restaurant, or maybe a country club. Nope ! Just an old bar that sat at the edge of downtown. Two large Goons stood standing in our reserved parking spot. I swung in and we were escorted inside. Geno hugged Bobby Seahorse, then Sid did, as well as Elmer, then Big Owl had his turn. I took a seat at the bar and faced the door. Yep ! I was just the driver and provided the security for the Fort Worth Outfit.

The old Farts seated themselves around a large table that was wrapped with a white table cloth. Of course, the best China and silverware were on display. An attractive waitress wearing a short black dress poured the aged wine. Seahorse sloshed it around in his fat jowels and then nodded. The leggy waitress then served the guest. I tried to keep a low profile and my mouth shut. Geno had made it clear to me that this was a visit out of respect. Yep ! In honor of Sid, Geno had agreed to grace the Dallas Boss with our presence. Sid had filled me in on the uneasy truce between the once warring outfits. From what I had gathered, it seems that Bobby Seahorse never cared for Geno. Matter of fact, it went all the way back to when Geno had been made Boss of Fort Woth. Apparently Seahorse had tried to make Fort Worth a part of his Dallas empire. Anyway, Seahorse and Sid had been friends in New Orleans. They, along with Elmer, had been members of the Dixie Mafia long before Geno was a made man. So, when Sid went away and Elmer was running Fort Worth all was fine. But, when Geno moved up ole Seahorse made his move. So, the Don Marcello himself, had to set them all straight. Yep ! Geno was the Fort Worth Boss and that was that !

Of course all of that had happend back 20 years ago and most folks would of gotten over it. Nope ! Sid had even warned me, that if and when the Don of New Orleans ever passed away, a full scale war could break out. The last I had heard the Don was bed ridden and wasn't going to last long. Yep ! That's one of the reasons I had planned to give Elmer my 30 day notice. By then Ken and Kim's contract driving Amelia would be up. All I wanted to do was head out. Yep ! Hit the road and get away, as Life Goes On.

Let's break, your Snazzy1.

 

Sid had been for gone a week, as I continued to play bar owner of the Palm Club. I had hired Betty as my bar maid, since she knew the business better than I did. Yep, she had worked for Sid part time, so she knew how to take book, and keep the customers happy. Betty was past her prime, but so where 90% of our clients. I'd sleep in, untill noon, and then open the club at 1:00 pm. Betty would come in a around 4:00 pm and work untill close. The Palm Club only had a class B alcohal permit. That meant that only beer and wine could be sold over the counter. No hard liquor, but customers could bring in thier own. It was a silly law. But hey ! I had given Elmer my 30 day notice and was just waiting for Emelia. Yep ! I'd explained to Ken and Kim, that I was returning to the road. They were schedule in, just any day now. They had decided to go back as company drivers for Road Kill and I would be back behind the wheel. Well ! That's untill I got the bad news. Yep ! Road Kill had decided that my pending DWI prevented me from operating my own truck. Remember ? That's why I had to hire Ken and Kim in the first place. I had thought that once my license was no longer suspended, for that breath test refusal. Well anyway, I was wrong ! So, I had to come up with some other options.

Let's see, Road Kill isn't the only trucking company on earth. I'll just lease on with someone else. Nope ! All the companies pretty much gave me the same song and dance. If that DWI wasn't pending, I was clear to go. But, noway Jose, untill then. Geez! Okay, so what else can we do ? Maybe, just lease on with a local company ? Nope ! Same song and verse. Crap ! So, let's call the Shark and get this over with. Either convict me, or set me free ! Nope ! The Shark claimed that the court docket was running six months behind. So, even if my case was put back on it, it'd be awhile. Crap ! My mind voices were about out of ideas.

Sweet Thang caught me off guard, " I need to talk to you ! "

I swung around on the bar stool, " I didn't hear you come in. What's up ? "

Sweet Thang sat down next to me, " I called the Hide Away and they said that you had opened a bar. What happend to Amelia ? I thought that you were going to go back over the road. What happend to your pawnshop job ? What are you doing here, in this place ? "

I shook my head, " I don't know ! Well ! It's all screwed up. I can't drive Amelia, because of that stupid DWI pendiing. I'm just keeping this place open, for Elmer. You know Elmer, he's a friend of Geno's, the guy who owns the pawnshops. Anyway, what have you been up to ? "

Sweet Thang whispered in my ear, " I'm pregnant. "

I froze like a deer in the headlights, " How ? I mean when ? Are you sure ? I mean, couldn't it be a mistake ? "

Sweet Thang burst out in tears, " I don't know what to do. If my Dad finds out he'll kill me ! Boo, hoo, hoo, sniffle, sniffle. "

I remained calm, " HOLLY CRAP ! MAN ! WE'RE BOTH DEAD ! "

So a bad day had come to visit us. We all know that we've had a few of them. There's no need to panic. Let's just keep our heads and decide on what to do next, as Life Goes On.

Nighty night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I keep seeing Snazzy slinking off into oblivion like Bill Murray when he caddied for the preacher in CADDYSHACK.

 

Yep big Duker it's not looking good, as Life Goes On.

I was still in shock when Betty the bar-maid reported for work. So, I turned things over to her and retreated upstairs to the loft. Man ! That's all I that needed, Sweet Thang pregnant, her Dad trying to kill me, I can't drive Amelia, I've already given my 30 day notice here, and what else ?

Geno knocked, " It's Gene ! Let me in ! "

I opened the door, " Hey Geno ! What's up ? "

Geno sat on the love seat, " What's this crap about you leaving ? "

I fetched us two cold ones, " Well, I told Elmer that.."

Geno slammed his beer down on the coffee table, " You told Elmer squat ! When you've gotten something to say ! You say it to me ! "

I sat down on the bed, " Well, I'll be honest with you. I appreciate what all you've done, but really Geno. It's just that. Well, I've got that truck and need to try and ..."

Geno flipped open the tab, " You need to listen ! Your not leaving ! So, keep that truck or sale it ! Hell, it's doing fine like it is. Your making a little money with it ! Now, your in this, whether you like it, or not ! "

I popped the top, " Okay ! Here's the problem ! Geno ! I hate to bring this up. I mean, I really do, but well, here goes. I'm not making enough ! Gezz ! I mean it ! I made more driving Amelia. Heck ! I make more, just having that team drive her. This here is risky ! I mean, I could get arrested ! For what ? Elmer doesn't help a bit ! I have to pay him a monthly lease and even had pay for my own liquor license. That's ontop of paying the beer venders and the utilities ! Hell ! This Palm Club is a white elephant ! "

Geno took a swig, " Didn't Sid explain anything to you ? Your on the books and have been since Elmer put you over here ! You'll get your cut, off every cent this place takes in, and remember you came in on a free pass ! "

I looked confused, " Free Pass ? "

Geno gave me the look, " Free pass ! You think we give these operations away? Hell ! This place earns good ! Elmer should of you charged you fifty large to get this place ! But, he's right ! You're a quick study and can be a good earner. Go get your books and I'll go over it. "

I fetched, " Here, this is last months. Betty is still using this months. "

Geno flipped the pages and fingered his pocket calculator, " This is the total take. Your percent of that, comes to this. Now, that is high, because we were in our busy season. Of course you'll make book off basketball, hockey, golf, you know ! We cover all the sports year round. Then don't forget your loans ! That shylocking pays good and keeps you going in the lean months. Heck, I know Sid made a bundle on that alone ! "

I hated to say it, " Gene, I know that Sid was a good earner ! Now, I think alot of him and he showed me a few things. But, I'll be honest with you ! He spent more time telling those old war stories, than explaining all of this. He never mentioned anything, about making any loans. "

Geno smiled, " Ole Sid's a character ! He's old Barney ! I wish him well ! Tell you what, just give me a week, and I'll send Big Owl over here. He can go over the loan operations with you. In the mean time, just steer them over to him. Now, is there anything else ? I mean, your staying onboard, and I can count on you. Right ! "

I stood up and Geno hugged me, " Yeah ! I guess, I'll stick around. I just hope that you know. Well, I'll do my best and try not to screw up. "

Geno squeezed my shoulder, " We all make mistakes Barney. Hell, I make them and Elmer is always screwing up ! We can live with that ! Just lighten up and do your best. That's all we're asking ! "

Geno left and I pondered over what I had just done. Man ! This is silly and not what I wanted ! Why did I agree to stay ? Geez ! I don't know beans about bookmaking or sharklarking. You mean Shylocking ! Remember ? A Shark is the one who makes the loan and is called a loan Shark. Shylocking are the illegal loans made. Geez ! What if they don't pay up ? I can't break any legs or stuff like that ! Man ! Don't worry so much. We haven't broken any laws. Say what ? Carrying concealed weapons, promotion of illegal gambeling, money laundering, driving on a suspended license, and knocking up Sweet Thang ! We'll get the chair ! Nope ! The needle, they use the needle now. Of shut up ! Dang mind voices, as Life Goes On.

Nighty night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Signs of being moved in on aren't apparent at first. It starts slowly and is done little by little. At first it was just the little things. You know, a couple of items here and there. An over night bag would be full on arrival, but empity when it left. By the time I spotted the empity suitcase in the closet it was too late. Yep, Sweet Thang had moved into the loft. Geez ! Now, it was true that Big John was living in Colorado with his new wife. He had no reason to think that his daughter was still seeing me, muchless pregnant with my child. So, I just grinned and bared it. What else could I do ? Sweet Thang still worked full time at the 8-12 on the midnight shift. She'd work all night and then make the ten minute drive to the Palm Club. The loft had an outside stairway that led up to the balcany entrance. She'd let herself in with the key and join me in bed. We'd sleep and I'd get up around noon, but not wake her. I'd open the club and kill time untill Betty came in around 4pm. By then Sweet Thang would have our home cooked meal waiting on the small round table. It was nice to have her for company and she didn't miss the 40 mile drive back to her lake cottage on Hawk Hill Lake.

Money wise I was doing okay. I'd signed Ken and Kim up with another six month driving contract. They were happy and Amelia was still earning me about $ 400 per week. The Palm Club only brought in a few hundred dollars in alcohal sales. By the time I paid Elmer his monthly lease, Betty her wages, and the utilities. Well, I'd see a couple of hundred dollars in profit. But, I was still paying Wifey that $,1000 per month child support. I hadn't gotten a penny from the bookmaking. The cuts were handed down from the top and after it was laundried. That took a few weeks and also Geno held back a month. I guess he figured that as long as his crew was waiting to be paid, the less likely anyone would skip out. So, things rocked along and by now Sweet Thang was showing. I guess she was about 4 months along.

It was mid Febuary and a Nothern had brought in a blistering cold front that filled the air with white flakes. The roads were covered with a thick coating of ice and more of the same had been forecast. Sweet Thang and I were debating whether I should drive her to work. She won by agreeing to call me as soon as she arrived. I walked her out to her pickup and scraped off the windshield. She gave me smooch and headed out. I returned inside and was about to give last call. There were only two regulars that had stayed that late and I knew both men well. One was a retired airforce Major and the other was about to retire from the postal service. We were all seated at the bar and I had let Betty take the night off. Yep, just 3 men soaking up some suds and enjoying each others company. Both men took thier last chugs and headed out the exit, as I answered the phone. Yep, Sweet Thang had made it, so I was home free. The bell ding-a-linged above the door and before I could say ' Sorry, I'm closed ' it happend. Yep, it was a robbery in progress and I was the target. What a deal !

The sawed off shotgun looked like a double barreled bazooka. I raised my hands and froze in place. The black knit Ski Mask didn't speak, but his right black glove pionted towards the register. I fingered the keys and the cash drawer opened. I placed the bills ontop of the bar and stepped back.

The Ski Mask had to ask, " Is that all you got ? "

I appoligized. " I'm sorry, that's all there is. Oh wait ! I have some in my pocket. Do you want it too ? "

The Mask raised the gun, " Real slow or I'll blow your head off ! "

My right hand empitied my pocket, as my left hand watched from above, " That's it ! "

The Mask didn't believe me, " A hundred bucks ? You better have more than that ! Where's your safe ? "

I tried to chuckle, " Haa hee haa, there's no safe, really ! It was a slow night, because of the weather. I'm sorry ! "

The Mask stuck the barrels under my chin, " Get on your knees ! "

I knew better, " Who is that ! "

The Mask fell for it and turned his head. I grabbed for the barrels and pushed up. The blast blew a hole thru the ceiling, as we struggled. I had a death grip on the slick end and he had his finger stuck in the trigger housing. I got pulled across the bar, as we danced over the floor.

The Mask spoke first, " LET GO ! LET GO ! "

I thought about, " UP YOURS ! "

We ended up under an over turned table and I had managed to land ontop of him. My knee was on his chest, so I tried to knee him to death. The gun barrels were pointed at the jukebox. KABOOM ! An off key Willie waned out the tune ' Angel, flying too close, to the ground ' I leaped up and with all my might pulled straight back. He let go and I sailed over the next table. He darted for the door, as I threw the shotgun over the pool table, and dashed behind the bar. I ran out after him with my Python ####ed. The dark colored Pontiac fishtailed away, as I capped off two rounds. The rear glass shattered and snow flew off of her trunk. I ran to Elmer's old Chevy and turned the key. Crap ! Yep, her battery was deader than hell. I smacked her steering wheel and climbed back out. Hell ! Even if she had started, her winshied was caked with a good half inch of ice. Sure can't chase what you can't see. So, I stood there for a minute and admired the frozen landscape. Everything was snow white and icicles hung from everywhere. The darkness of night didn't seem dark at all. Yep, I was lucky to be alive. I went back inside and almost laughed. Heck, those few greenbacks that were worth killing for were strown all over the place. Yep, that robbery cost the ole Ski Mask his shotgun and I bet ten years off his life. Dang ole Robbers ! So, I guess we need to call Elmer and find out. You know ! Whether I call this in or not. I mean, do we report this ? Well, let's call and find out ! Shut up mind voices, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Hmmm... I wonder if ol' Elmer knows about this already. Test #2, ya' think?

 

Good guess Ducks, but no cigar, err, Snazzy points. I tried to post last night, but when I hit the reply button my screen froze. Yep, I lost the whole page and I wasn't happy. So, we'll try this again, as Life Goes On.

I called Elmer at the Hide Away and was told to sit tight. They pulled up an hour later with Geno behind the wheel of Elmer's Cadillac, it was a little past 1 am. I had swept up the broken glass from the jukebox, recovered the cash off the floor, and uprighted the furniture. I handed the empity shotgun to Geno and explained what had happend.

Geno gazed up at the ceiling hole, " #### ! It went went straight thru ! Are you okay ? "

I popped a top and set two cold ones on the bar, " I'm alright, but that was close. I need to check upstairs, I'll be right back. "

I returned a minute later, " There's a big hole in the floor up there ! The safe looks okay and I'm sure he didn't know about it. "

Elmer sat at the bar, " That's good ! I'll empity it before we leave. "

Geno took a seat, " So, who was it Barney ? You recognize him ? "

I stood behind the bar, " No, but he shouldn't be hard to find. "

Geno broke open the sawed off, " He sure used a piece of crap. Now, what makes you think he'll be easy to find ? "

I played Holmes, " He's local and probably stays within five miles of here. His old Pontiac has it's rear window shot out. He's red headed, missing his two front teeth, wears size 10 black running shoes, that match his jogging suit. He's probably pulled some armed robberies before, but he's not a pro. Most likely he's fresh out of the joint and is wanted for simular robberies here locally. He's not in a gang and works alone. "

Geno shook his head, " Well wiseguy, what's his name ? Are you making this up ? How the hell would you know all of that ? You said he was masked, so how do you know he's a carrort head ? Size 10 snickers ? What did you do, fit for a pair ? Not in a gang and an excon ? Geez ! "

Elmer laughed, " Dang Barney ! You had me going, your a Hoot ! "

I lit a 100, " It took ya'll an hour to drive over here on that ice. You think that someone pulling a robbery is going to risk that ? Hell no ! He's close by and that old Pontiac is his daily driver. If he was going steal a get away car he'd of stolen something nicer. A gang member would have been armed with a better piece. That old rusty shoutgun tells me he's a loner. He left some footprints in the snow and I compared them to mine. He's a size 10, I'm pretty sure. Another thang ! He's not a pro, because he fell for the oldest trick in the book. You know ! Who is that ? Hell, he took his eyes off me and turned his head. What a moron ! That's why I say he's an excon. He's too stupid, not to have been arrested before. "

Geno rubbed his chin, " You right ! Those streets are slick and normally it just takes me 15 minutes to drive over here. You've got some good points too about the rest of it. You think you could drive around and spot that old Pontiac car ? "

I shook my head, " He's stashed it away for the night. He knows I got a look at it and with that back window shot out. Yep ! It's probably hidden off one of the lake roads. Most likely behind that old trailer park. When I was on Idiot City, I use to think they only rented to excons ! "

Elmer had to ask, " How do you know he's a red head ? That's what I want to know. "

I grinned, " Well he may not be ! But, his ski mask didn't cover his orange eyelashes. "

Geno laughed, " You a hoot Barney, now what do you want to do ? "

I took a swig. " Well, I don't guess we need to call the cops. We really don't want them nosing around here. I guess I'll just be more carefull. I still can't believe that he got the drop on me that quick. I really don't think that he'll be back though. "

Geno pounded his fist on the bar, " BE BACK ! Where that SOB is headed, there ain't no coming back ! Barney ! You find him ! He's mine ! I don't care how long to takes or what it takes ! You find him and call Elmer when you do. Elmer ! I want to know the second ya'll have him. You got that ! "

Elmer nodded, " As soon as Barney bird dog's him out, I'll let you know. "

Geno gave me the look, " Drive everyone of those back roads. I'll pass the word around about him. If he's still driving that piece of crap, he's as good as dead now ! "

I shook my head, " Geno you need to think about this. Do we really need to go that far ? I mean he's not worth it. I'm okay and he didn't get crap, so it's not that big a deal. "

Geno foamed at the mouth, " He hit the wrong joint and tried to take out the wrong guy ! Nobody does that ! We need to send a message ! "

Elmer took my side, " Gene ! If he's a loner, no one is going to know about any of this. Maybe Barney is right..."

Geno leaped off his bar stool, " You two Idiots ! I'm the BOSS ! I make these decisions ! Now, I've decided and that's, that ! "

Elmer raised his hands, " Okay boss, whatever you say ! "

I hesitated, " Well alright, I'll see what I can do, but what ya'll do after I find him is up to ya'll. Just leave me out of it ! "

Geno looked hurt, " Barney, I thought you were with us. You need to decide, one way or the other ! "

I gave Geno the look, " I'll find him okay ! Let's just leave it there. "

Elmer went upstairs and empitied the floor safe before he and Geno left. I sat in the dark bar and drank myself silly. Man, that stupid, dumb, ignorant, jerk, is going to be fish bait, and it serves him right. Hell, he tried to kill me and he should of known this place is off limits. Geez, hit a mob owned joint and what do you expect ? Yep, he's got it coming, so I'm not going to worry about it. What Geno does is none of my business, as Life Goes On.

Nighty night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.