Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Somehow I sense some very interesting 'student driver' stories in the very near future.

 

Let's have a big Snazzy welcome for Lady Trucker99 and she knows that alot of this true fiction is more true than false. Good Bear picture sassytrucker it helps with the storyline. Sapphirecat I think it was Gene Hackman that had the best line, 'll see you in hell William Bonnie'. Lobshot guessed right and there are some student stories coming up. I just hope that they're interesting, as Life Goes On.

Shane had just turned 21 and was eager to become a long hauler. He had a leg up on most of the students. His uncle owned a construction business back in Houston, that's where Shane was from, and had learned to drive. Yep, Shane could double clutch, hold the wheel, and talk the walk. What a deal ! His uncle had a side business of delivering new bobtail trucks from the dealerships. Yep, Shane's uncle taught him how to drive and even rented a 48' flatbed. Shane used that to pass his CDL test and was legal to go. Of course there wasn't an outfit out there running all 48 that would hire him. Yep, the insurance companies required that the drivers to be at least 23. Well, Crook Trucking was self insured, for their liability insurance. All that meant was that they had posted a hefty bond to cover any liability claims. It's legal and quite a few of the major trucking companies do that. So, the uncle sold Ed on giving the boy a chance. Yep, now all Ed had to do was to sell me on the idea. Well, I wasn't completely sold, but that was just my opinion. You know, it wasn't my money, my equipment, nor any skin off of my beak. Now, the deal was that Shane would train under me for his required 12,000 student miles, then he would be teamed with a regular team member. Yep, ole Shane wasn't going to have to run with another student. I guess, Ed felt that a seasoned driver could keep Shane safe until he turned older. Besides that, Shane had agreed to work for the 10 cent per mile rate, until his 23rd birthday. What a deal !

Shane's shaw wearing grandma was hugging him, as I sashayed up. The white graveled parking lot puffed up dust clouds, as several big rigs headed out of the TLX terminal. I sized up Shane, grandma eyed me, as Shane drooled over the big rig. Shane didn't look his 21 years, but closer to 17. He stood 5'9", slender built, maybe a 130 lbs, and had blond hair that covered his shoulders. Grandma looked just like a log cabin, maple syrup label, with her hair in a bun. Now, you know how sometimes you can read other peoples thoughts ? You know exactly what they want to hear and your mouth wants to satisfy them.

I shook Shane's hand, " I'm Barney and glad to meet you Shane. Is this your sister ? "

Grandma blushed, " I'm his grandmother, but that was sweet of you. Shane tell the man that your happy to meet him. "

Shane stood at attention, " I happy to meet you sir ! "

I chuckled, " Don't call me sir, I work for a living ! Why don't you load up your gear, while I keep this nice lady company. "

I watched, as Shane ran like a rabbit, " That boy sure moves fast ! "

Grandma pulled out her hankie, " He's all I've got in this whole wide world. Please tell me that you'll watch over him. Please ! "

I lied like a rug, " Don't you worry ! I've been training students for the past twenty years. I haven't lost one yet and don't plan to. I'll watch over him like he's one of my own. This company is the safest outfit on the road and I've been made trainer of the year more times than I can count. "

Grandma perked up, " Well, it sounds like he's lucky to have gotten you. "

I puffed out my chest, " It wasn't luck ! Ed, our general manager had me drive all the way in from Washington State. He wanted me to train that boy right. Now, anytime that I'm training a student, we're not under any kind of schedule. I pick what we haul, where we haul it, and when we haul it. I'll pick the lightest loads, headed to the safest regions, and we'll take our time doing it. If Shane as much as sniffles, I'll rush him to the closest emergency room. If he needs to get home for any reason, I'll pull into the nearest airport and he'll be on the next flight home ! Now, I pay for that out of my own pocket and it won't cost ya'll a penny. "

Grandma hugged me, " I feel so much better, your a gift from heaven. Oh, if only my daughter was still here to see this. She died giving birth to Shane and his father is no good ! Poor Shane has been through alot and I've done my best to raise him. Will you let him call me ? "

I piled on more manure, " He can call you ever thirty minutes if you want him to. Just tell me how often and I'll dial the number myself ! "

Grandma took the bait, " Oh no ! If he could just call me once per day that's plenty. I know, you'll have your hands full, and I don't want to trouble you. "

My nose grew longer, " Trouble ! It's no trouble ! My only goal in life is to train these young men and women. Where would we be without them ? Young men like Shane are our only hope to keep America free ! He's our future and will someday lead us. It's an honor and a privilege to be apart of that. "

Grandma swallowed it hook, line, sinker, and boat, " My ! Your the father that he's never had ! God Bless you ! "

I sashayed away and watched from behind the windshield, as Grandma gave Shane his last farewell kiss. Yep, I felt like I was General Custard leading young Shane into battle. What a deal ! I had stored my gear and was fingering the new fancy keyboard. Yep, Crook Trucking had finally made it into the 21's century. We had all kinds of new gadgets to play with. So, Shane mounted the shotgun seat and I eased her into gear. Grandma wiped her tears, as the Barney Express headed into the future, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

You might need this to keep those students in line!

 

I missed the story about you being a siding salesman. Sure sounded like one to that poor old soul.

 

Thanks Snazzy! And yes-i know these story's are true. You tell them so well too for i enjoy reading them. I always look forward to hear whats next! Good luck to ya! Be safe!

 

Oh boy, oh boy! Barney's gonna make Shane a twucker! Something tells me ol' Barn is gonna have his hands full with this one.

That just doesn't sound encouraging, Snazz...

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ROFL now that is the perfect pic!

 

Yep Sassy that zapper would of come in handy and Duker I've never sold siding, but bet I could had. LAdy99 keep them complements coming they keep me motivated. Ducks, Ducks, Ducks, that's Shane alright, without his long blond hair and dark shades on. On a serious note, Truckers Report is in need of donations to keep this site operating. Any Snazzer that contributes will receive matching Snazzy points. Yes, for a limited time only you can take advantage of this spectacular offer. But wait, that's not all ! Yes ! You'll receive one autographed photo of the Snazz. Yes ! A never before seen image of the tortured soul, as he fingers out these true fiction tales. Act now and as an added bonus, you'll be entered into the free goat giveaway. Yes, Petey the goat will be shipped directly to your door. * All offers are subject to contest rules and all donations are non refundable. Shipping cost are the responsibility of the contestant to include a $ 500.00 handling fee. This offer may end with or without any good reasons given. Act now, your Snazzy1.

 

Now I hadn't been issued one of the new tractors, because they were still being made ready. You know, having their satellite communication systems installed, TLX door banners stuck on, and all the paperwork taken care of. Well anyway, the Kenworth T-600 that I was issued was a nice truck. She had been a solo truck and showed less than 200,000 miles on her clock. Her condo sleeper provided ample room for comfort and storage. She had been taken pretty good care of and drove like new. Yep, it sure beat that dog I had been in. I drove to the local Dallas Pilot and fueled up. Shane followed me around like a puppy and acted nervous as a cat. I tried to settle him down and put him at ease. You know, I'm sure that it was just a case of newbie jitters. Shane was a nice kid and I liked him. He was a little shy at first and on the quiet side. He was a quick study and had a good idea of the basics. You know, how to use the fuel card, fill the tanks, check the fluids, air the tires, adjust the brakes, wipe the windows, and such. Shane wasn't a bad driver either. He could hold her in his lane, make safe lane changes, shifted fine, used his mirrors, braked well, and I was impressed. Yep, this wouldn't be so bad after all. Shane's weakness was mostly his difficulty in the communicating part. You know, keeping his logbook up, filling out the trip reports, dealing with shippers, and using that computer. Yep, he had promise and I was there show him the ropes.

I drove the first couple of hours and then handed the reigns over. Shane had to raise the drivers seat to full height and adjust the electric mirrors. Yep, we were riding in style. I sat shotgun and played like I was caught up in my paperwork. Really I was spying on him and getting an idea of his driving abilities. Shane did a couple of things that kind of bothered me. First he had the FM blaring way too loud and secondly he was driving way too fast. I mean, that speedometer was pegged at 78 mpg, in a 65 mph zone. Now, I didn't want to come across, as a grumpy old man. You know, this kid was doing good and I didn't want to break his spirit.

I lit a 100, " Your doing good ! Now, don't take this the wrong way, but you know, your a little over the limit. The bears out here are always taking pictures and they love trucks ! "

Shane turned the FM down, " I'm not worried ! I can see miles ahead and the CB just gave a bear report. We're all clear to Abilene and I'm keeping my eyes peeled. "

I decided to ease off, " Well, it's your call and I'll leave it up to you. When we get to Midland wake me up. If you have any problems or questions don't hesitate to ask me. We'll get us a bite to eat and I'll get us to El Paso. Your doing real good and I mean that. "

I patted Shane on his shoulder, as I retired to the sleeper. The sun was still up and I figured that Midland would be about sunset. Yep, I didn't want Shane to drive in the dark on his first day out. You know, I wanted for him to get the feel of things first. Now, if he hadn't had prior experience, I'd of never left him behind the wheel. But hey ! This kid could drive and I knew it. Yep, the last thang he needed was some old crabby trainer breathing down his neck. So, I stripped down to my fruit of the looms and wrapped the sheets around me. Life was good ! I even took a snooze and Shane had to bang on the curtain to get my butt up.

I was impressed, " Man, you made good time ! Did you back in here ? "

Shane nodded, " That's alright isn't it ? I thought that's what you said. "

I finished dressing. " You did great ! Do have any questions or anything ? "

Shane didn't, so I reminded him to keep his comic book current. We both drew some lines and sashayed into the greasy spoon. We ate a hardy meal and I picked up the tab. Young Shane got teased by the waitress, about his youthful looks. I could tell that Shane was a little defensive about that and didn't see the humor. Oh well, I was sure that he'd get use to that. You know how it is on the road. If there is a comment to make, you'll sure enough hear it. I was a thick skinned as Rhino and had heard it all. Yep, that young buck would just have to get use to it. We sashayed back to the rig and I drew on the driving line. Now, Shane needed to hit the sack. You know, I had the wheel and he needed his rest. Well, he sat there and cut it up with me. Now, I enjoyed his company and figured he was just wound up. You know, the open road was new to him and he was all eager to go. Well, after an hour, I had to send Shane to his room. I kind of felt like bad about it. You know, he was a grown man and who was I to play nurse mate. Oh well, I knew that things were going well and the newness would wear off. Yep, young Shane was doing fine, as Life Goes On.

Let's break and have a double header tonight Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I swung into the 76 and pulled out her yellow knob, just as the big West Texas sun was making her climb out from the darkness. I drew a line and patted on the curtain to stir my sleeping partner. After a minute without a response, I banged on the petition that separated the seats from the bunks. Nope, still nothing stirring, so I decided to have a look see. I pulled open the curtain and spotted Shane sleeping like a new born. I raised my voice and waited for a response, but didn't get one. Hmm ! Ok, I decided to let young Shane get his beauty sleep. Yep, I sashayed over to the buffet of pancakes, bacon, and eggs, and pigged out. A few cups of go-juice and a bill paying later, I sashayed back to where Sleeping Beauty was still out cold. Nope ! That boy was so far into dreamland that wild horses couldn't off drug him out. Now here were my choices. I could have shut down and taken my break, kept heading West and drive using Shane's logbook, or stuck matches between his toes. Yep, I could of pictured young Shane hot footing it around and doing the funky chicken. So, I pulled out a book of matches. No I didn't, I pushed in her yellow knob and tried to out run the big bright ball. Yep, I drove all the way to Phoenix and swung into fuel island. I filled her tanks, checked her oil, wiped her face, and thumped her feet. Yep, I tried again to rouse the young Shane and even felt for a pulse. You know, if he was dead I'd of felt bad, as I would have seat belted his cold corpse in, for his flight back to Grannies. What a deal ! Anyway, I decided to play it safe, so I called Mother Ed.

Ring, ring, " This is Ed ! "

I lit up a 100, " Say Ed, it's Barney and I've got a problem ! That student Shane is in a coma and I can't get him up ! "

Ed was Ed, " Your at the Phoenix Truckstop and your parked in the second row. We just got our tracking system up and running. I can see where every TLX truck is at, whether they're parked, or on the move, and alot more too ! "

I had to say it, " Well can you see that sleeping bear cub hibernating in my sleeper ? That's your boy Shane and I can't get him to wakeup ! "

Ed strained his eyes, " No ! I can't see that, but you just purchased fuel and you need to get going ! "

I gave the receiver the look, " Get going ? Ed ! I've been up and running all day and night ! Your poster boy, for Sealick Mattresses hasn't driven any miles since yesterday ! I can't run nonstop and I'm not going to ! "

Ed was Ed, " Well ! Get him up and get going ! Your his trainer and it's up to you. That load has to be delivered on time and your next load is already waiting for you ! "

I had to ask, " Ed, I'm thinking that there's something wrong with this kid. It just isn't normal and maybe he's on drugs ? "

Ed shuffled some papers, " I just got his test back and it's clean. Now, you need to sit down and straighten him out ! Tell him ! Tell him, that Ed told you, to put him on a bus home ! That'll get his attention ! "

I knew that Ed wasn't going to be any help to me. Yep, once I left that terminal, I was on my own. You know, just handle it Barney ! So, I did. Yep, I took a cup full ice water and tried to drown young Shane.

Shane blew like a whale, " Stop ! Stop ! Man ! What's wrong ? "

I yanked his covers back, " Shane ! You've been asleep since yesterday and it's time that you wake up ! I've driven us all the way from Midland to Phoenix and you've slept the whole way ! What's your problem ? Do you always sleep like this ? "

Shane wiped his face, " Oh man, I'm sorry ! Why didn't you wake me up ? "

I gave Shane the look, " I tried everything Shane ! You were just plume out of it ! Now, tell me the truth ! Are you on something or have some sort problem that I need to know about ? "

Shane sat up, " No ! I'm alright and it was probably that Sleeping Buddha that I took. "

I scratched my head, " Sleeping Buddha, what the hell is that ? "

Shane handed me the bottle, " It's a diet supplement that I take to help me sleep. It's sold at all the diet supplement stores. "

I opened the bottle, " It looks like water ! How much did you take ? "

Shane brushed his golden locks, " Just a cap full and that stuff really works. It's just hard to know how much to take. I usually just take half a cap full, but last night I took a little more. "

I screwed Buddha's head back on, " Alright ! Do us both a favor and don't take anymore of that crap ! Ed's all ticked off, because I had to call him. Now, I didn't want to, but you wouldn't get up. So, go get yourself some breakfast and get in gear. We need to beat feet and tend to business. "

Well, Shane ran like a rabbit, as I filled out two new comic books. Yep, a little fiction logging later, we looked legal as two Supreme Court Justices. Now, I wasn't all that happy with Shane. But hey ! I could understand him having a hard time getting to sleep. I used a few over the counter sleeping pills myself. So, Shane took the wheel, as I changed the wet sheets and slumbered off to visit Dream Land. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night, Snazzers, your Snazzy1.