Ban sought on novelty lighters

Heavens knows we need more government to protect us from ourselves...

 

Yeah! Dang those lighters anyhow, for jumping off the shelves and into the hands of a kid. Those lighters should be made to do hard time busting rocks in Angola.

And while I'm at it, somebody needs to do something about guns. Last night, while I was sleeping, my pistol snuck out of the house, robbed a liquor store and shot the clerk. I had no idea until I saw it on CNN!

I told that pistol, I don't know how many times, "Stop robbing banks and liquor stores!" but it just doesn't seem to listen. I've tried spanking it and sending it to bed with no bullets... If this doesn't stop I'm gonna take it down to the police department and turn it in. Maybe a few days in the slammer will teach it a lesson.

 

Some of these actually looking pretty convincing as something other than a lighter. I saw a video news footage online where one looked like a doll and another a plastic wrench. But there's a really simple way around this. Stick them in the cigarette aisle!

I also heard that many of these things don't come with child safety mechanisms.

 

Novelties are all they are

They say refillable..... I have yet to find one that I could actually get to take a refill. I usually wind up wasting or tossing a can of butane in frustration.