Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

hummmm Bad food and crummy rest makes for a bad driver. We know Barn can handle it.

 

Sandlapper is concerned about open scales, Rikdev thinks Barn can handle it and Lil Blue Pony has the popcorn. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

At the crack of noon we headed North on I-25. You know, me in the lead, with Tom's crew following in the carton of eggs. I figured out that the reason they followed behind. Yep, they didn't want to chance being blown to Kingdom Come, by being to close. Anyway, I flipped my CB over to the secure channel and gave the Mike three quick clicks. It responded with two clicks, a pause, followed by three more click clicks.

I keyed up, " Goose to Mother Nick, Goose to Mother Nick ! Over ! "

It responded, " Read you loud and clear ! Barn, we just got the results back and have confirmed your load. It is Ammonium Nitrate ! Repeat ! It is Ammonium Nitrate ! We need to know, how much is on board ? "

I read the fake BOL, " It says, 800, 50 lb bags, so around 40,000 lbs. Yeah, that'd be about right. I scaled it and I'm right at 74,000 gross ! "

Nick whistled, " Sweel ! Don't hit any bumps, or do anything stupid. Oh, we managed to wire that van last night. Tom's pissed, about you taking up for that Wet Back and ..."

I keyed over him, " Peachy, just Peachy ! Your the one who started all of that and now, I'm ... "

Nick laughed, " Screw him ! Now, listen up ! Our chemist says, that stuff isn't explosive, until it's mixed. So, don't sweat it and stay cool. You copy ? "

I copied, " Wait a minute ! Mixed ? What does that mean ? Over ! "

Nick explained, " Something, about the flash point and having to add diesel to it.He said, it takes at least a number 8 blasting cap, or something like that. "

I had to think back, " Isn't this the same stuff used to blow up that Federal Building in OK City ? "

Nick agreed, " Ten four, on that ! When it's mixed right and if they know what their doing. Well, hold on to your hat ! "

I remembered, " Hell, that OK bomb wasn't half this size ! Man, I wonder what their planning to blowup ? It must be something big. Copy ? "

Nick dropped his bomb, " We're thinking the White house, Congress, or maybe a bridge. You know, San Francisco, Brooklyn, maybe the Lincoln Tunnel. But, it doesn't matter, because we're right on top of them. "

I wasn't so sure, " Hey Nick ! Aren't you afraid of them spotting you. I mean, as wired as they are, it wouldn't take much. "

Nick laughed, " I'm half a mile up and half a mile behind them ! "

So, it struck me. Yep, Nick had a birds eye view in the clouds and I was stuck with a front row seat. What a deal ! Anyway, just as I entered the Why OH Ming State, the Bear flipped on the don't collect $200 dollars and pull around back. I pulled the yellow knob and sashayed inside.

The Bear was grumpy, " Registration, insurance, medical card, logbook, and CDL ! What's you got on ? "

I pinched my jacket, " I got this on sale... Oh, you mean what am I hauling ? It's some kind of fertilizer and this is my BOL. It has the hazmat stickers and I'm displaying the placards. Everything should be ... "

Grumpy Bear growled, " I'll decide, that ! You know, you already screwed up and I could cite you ! "

I scratched my head, " What for ? I haven't done anything ! "

He pointed his claw, " Your suppose to leave that BOL in your driver's door pocket, or leave it plain view ! Didn't you know that ? "

I scratched my privates, " WELL EXCUSE ME ! If I left it out there, you'd be belly aching, about not bringing it in ! Man ! "

Grumps leaped up, " I'm going to do a class A inspection ! Follow me outside and do as your instructed ! "

So, I followed him out like a good puppy dog and did my dumber than dirt act. You know, did as he said, hit the brakes, turned on the lights, flipped on the blinkers, tooted the city horn, blew the air horn, and all of that nonsense. Yep, he wrote on his clipboard, thumped some tires, rolled on his creeper, and filled out the red tag.

I gave the LOOK, " Man ! I'm happy your doing that ! Where's the closest motel at and are there any casinos around here ? "

Grumpy Bear looked deflated, " I'm putting you out of service and your happy about that ? "

I nodded, " I sure am ! How long are you going to shut down the scales ? "

Grumpy Bear had to ask, " What do you mean ? Shut down the scales ? "

I whipped it out, " According to section 397, of Federal DOT Safety Regs, all Class B explosives, cannot stop, stand. or park, unless in an approved DOT Safe Haven, that is within a five minute response time, of an approved fire station and capable of dealing, with said emergency responses. In no event shall the vehicle be parked.... "

Grumpy Bear turned sweet, " Look ! Maybe I measured it wrong and that mud flap isn't more that eight inches, from the ground. "

I insisted, " OH, NO ! Your absolutely right ! That's a good quarter of an inch too short and we wouldn't want ... "

Pleasant Bear pleaded, " Here's your paperwork back and I'm sorry to have bothered you. Please just leave and have a good trip. "

So, I sashayed over and climbed in the Pete. Of course, I didn't hang around and got the hell out of there. Yep, you guessed it ! I'd made half of that crap up and had no idea, what the regulations were. But, it worked and sure sounded good. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

ok 3/rd attemt to reply here geeze the interuptions.......
OK if this load meets up with some #2 fuel then we are in for one heck of a 4/of July type of event..........not a pleasant one either hmmmm Snazz ya got yer work cut out fer ya! You did get your CVSA sticker didn't ya? hmmmm wonder what Tom and the crew will do next?????......has Nick been able to spot a fuel storage tank out there somewhere????.......... and who has the blasting caps??????.....will Sanz be able to get out of this alive????? will Tom and Nick ever form a long lasting freindship??????????....is Grumpy Bear going over sec 397???????....ok I brought the popcorn did anybody bring something to drink????

 

Here's a cold one Lil Blue Pony, as Life Goes On. What a Deal !

I hung a left onto IH-90 and bedded down in Billings. A few white flakes had salted the scenery and I was ready for a hot meal. Tom and his crew decided to rent a room at a local motel. I topped off the tanks, parked on the back row and sashayed into the greasy spoon. The meal wasn't half bad, so I left a decent tip and hit the showers. You know, one of them closet sized ones that has a sink, shower and toilet. I was lathered up and singing, ' Hand down your head Tom Dually, hang down you head and cry, hang down your head Tom Dually. poor boy your going to fry '. Anyway, I was on the second verse when the shower door swung open.

Nick grinned, " Don't give up your day job ! "

I screamed, " ####, YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME ! "

Nick shut the door, " Hurry up, I need to brief you ! "

So, I rinsed off, towel dried and slipped on my fruit of the looms. Nick sat on the pot, with the lid down, and fully clothed. The mirror reflected my reflection.

I combed my wet hair, " I'm thinking, about growing my beard back. What do you think ? It comes out gray looking, but ..."

Nick rolled his eyes, " Look ! You'll make their compound, by tomorrow. I got these satellite photos and a little more information. A few weeks back they hit a construction site and got what they needed. This is a picture of the rig and what was reported stolen. "

I slipped on my jeans, " Let me see that ! Hell, that's a dry bulk trailer. You know, they haul powdered concrete and stuff like that. What's this ? "

Nick educated me, " The police report says, those cases of G-12 are blasting caps and get this ! They also stole some sort of service truck that hauls fuel and ... "

I butted in, " They call those wet-hose trucks ! See, they use them to fill the off road equipment. You know, so they don't have to drive the bulldozers, graders, and stuff like that to the gas stations. "

Nick nodded, " Well, they got what they need ! It was full of diesel and we know, what that's for. "

I slipped on my socks, " Yep, it looks like their all set and ready to go. What's the plan and what do you want me to do ? "

Nick was honest, " We'll have to play it by ear and let them make the moves. We do know, that their holding some sort of rally tomorrow night. That's all they've talked about and it's suppose to be a big one. Yep, their expecting several hundred skin heads to attend and just as many Clue Clux Clan. Yep, this big Barney, really, really, big ! "

I finished dressing, " Well, when are you going to bust them ? I mean, if you wait too long and let them ... "

Nick slapped my back, " The more, the merrier ! "

So, we exited the shower room and came face to face with two burly drivers.

They gave us the LOOK, " Must be a SEE OUR ENGLAND TEAM ! "

So, I blushed and sashayed in one direction. as Nick strutted the other way. Yep I was sure that we were close, to bringing things to an end. Yep, fighting evil, doing good and risking one's life, takes a lot out of a man. But hey ! Let it never be said, that Barney Goose ever let his country down ! Yep, I kept my head held high and a little extra sash, in my sashay. Yep, even the other drivers took notice, as I exited. They each avoided eye contact and bowed, looking down, as though a true glad-he-ate-her was passing by. I swung open the glass exit doors and that's when I noticed it. Yep, a 20' foot strip, of toilet paper, stuck to my heel. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I wonder if lil Blue Pony's new avatar is an indicator of things to come???????Hmmm

 

Thanks for the "drink" Well yes MC the avatasr does have a meaning about things to come and can't a girl get a new "outfit" for a special event????.
And Barn yes I was atthe same shower the other morn. exit 28 off I-90 right? ok ok I am in NY but the Am-Best shower was no bigger than a closet really the little stool to set on to get dressed had to be slid under the sink.......oh wait this is your story not mine.....sorry.....OK so Nick found the fuel and blasting caps so we have a match for the location.....don't ya just hate it when ya want to know the game plan and they say play it by "ear".....and Barn we can't be close to finishing this job yet I haven't bought new shoes to match the new "outfit" yet! Well Barn all I can say is that 20' tail of yours will help to make you a memorable DRIVER for sure!

 

I dunno... the conspiracy theorist in me says that Nick has friends in Decker, MI.

 

I'm thinkin' ole Barn' will need that 20 ft paper trail later to well you get the picture... Look like he'll be needin' a new pair of fruit of the looms soon... Get pony another drink so she can shop for shoes...

 

I'm glad to see lilillill is is still with us, mc85 noticed Pony's new avatar, Rik thinks, that paper can be used to wipe with and Blue Pony is going shoe shopping. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

The carton of eggs led the way and exited off the big road. It was a curvy two lane blacktop that went straight up and reminded me of a roller coaster. You know, it takes all day to reach the top and then you zoom down, at ninety to nothing. The poor Pete was plume out of breath and tuckered out. I noticed a pack of Billy Goats standing in a circle, just off the shoulder. Yep, one was performing CPR on the other. We were so high that the birds were walking and my ears didn't pop. Nope, they exploded like an R-22 recaps blowing out on an over sized load.

The CB spoke up, " Hey Randy ! Are you going to make it ? "

I keyed up, " Man ! How far is it ? This old Pete..."

Dually egged me on, " Just over this last rise and we'll be there. "

So, I dropped another gear lower and mashed down on the go pedal. She puffed out some black smoke and screamed out in protest. Yep, I was doing a good five mph, as I swung in the compound. It was like I pictured it. Well, like the satellite photos Nick had shown me. Yep, a huge fenced in area, with barbwire, tall wooden gun towers on stilts, armed guards wearing Nazi uniforms, complete with leashed attack dogs and lots of bald heads. There was a huge stack of cut timber and a large log cabin a little futher back. I parked between the two and pulled the yellow knob. Tom marched over and had me follow him back. His band of Idiots awaited their orders, as I swung open the trailer doors. Tom climbed into the trailer and faced the crowd.

He raised his right fist, " WHITE POWER ! WHITE POWER ! "

A thousand fist replied, " WHITE POWER ! WHITE POWER ! "

Tom pointed at the bags, " God has blessed us with these and we will show the world that Meat Heads of America will rule this earth ! White Power ! "

So, Tom gave a very, very, long speech. Yep, he'd made a great politician, or maybe an in-psycho-peed-in-them salesman. Anyway, after all hoopla the work began. Yep, Tom had me park next to the dry bulk tanker and they formed a fireman's bucket brigade. You know, a long line of skinheads handing each other 50lb bags. Yep, they cut the bags open and poured the grainy kernels into the tanker. Once that was completed the wet-hose truck pumped in the measured amount of diesel.

Tom slapped my back, " You did real well Randy and I want to show you our appreciation. Go inside the cabin and on the second floor you'll find a special room. It is filled with our maiden virgins and you can pick one to be your own. This is a rare privilege and you should be grateful. "

I blushed, " Your too kind ! Now, what room was that ? "

So, I sashayed ran like a rabbit on fire and flew up the steps. Let's see, this must be it. I wonder if I should knock ? Man, this is a swank cabin. I bet, it use to be a ski resort or maybe a hunting lodge. Yep, it's too nice and well built, for those eggheads to have constructed it. Well, or we going to stand here all day, or what ? Hold your horses ! I need to comb this cow lick and pull the fruit out of my looms. Come on, come on ! Alright, alright !

Knock, knock, knock, " You who ! Anybody home ? "

The Maiden's voice, " Come in ! "

So, I did. Yep, there was half a dozen, very attractive, sexy soft, half nude, lip licking, hot sense-you-us, grade A, number one,all American Sweethearts.

My heart be still, " Hi there ! Tom sent me up here and... "

The Maiden giggled, " Oh, you want the room across the hall. "

I objected, " No ! He said, that... "

The Maiden pointed, " Across the hall and to your left ! We're all Tom's wives and the virgins are over there. You got that ! "

So, I got it and sashayed down the hall. Yep, old Tom sure had a nice herd of tender loins. Hell, maybe there is something to this white power crap. Well, are we going to stand here all day, or what ?

Knock, " Come in ! Come in ! "

I stood in shock and awe, " I'm sorry ! I'm looking for the ... "

Toothless gummed, " You must be Randy ! We've been waiting for you ! "

I explained, " No ! I'm trying to find the virgins. What is this ? The weight watchers room, or eaters anonymous ? "

Horse Face enlightened me, " We are the virgin's of the American Meat Heads. White Power ! "

I cheesed, " Well, sorry to have bothered you. Yep, I've had a long day and maybe I'll take a rain check. Hey, that's a good looking armadillo ! I've never seen an albino one. Do they normally grow that big ? "

It spat, " I ain't no armadillo ! My name is Sister Sara ! "

So, I bid them a farewell and exited stage right. Gees ! I'm not that picky, but I'd seen more attractive females in a circus sideshow. Man, I'm quivering as I type this. You know, like bugs are crawling all over me. ####, I hate to do this, but I'm going to have to take a shower. Yep, some of these truer than fiction tales bring back some really bad memories. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

So......... don"t leave us there....... Bad looking large Virgins eh..... ha ha .........!!!!!! What happens next?