Most stupid thing you heard...

I got blamed for a forklift operator dropping a 2 Ton load of cedar posts on his own dog, crushing it. He didn't even work there, was the owner's brother wanting to screw around with a forklift for an afternoon. I was in the cab where I was told to be. I had to hear the sob story from the owner about how that dog was the guy's child since he was 45 years old and still single, for almost an hour. I of course told the dispatcher that I would never go back to that place again.

 

Many times I have called to get directions to places in rural Alberta, rural Montana, and rural Idaho and they ask where I'm at. I would either say that I was at whatever place loaded me or at least at the nearest town. They would try to tell me in the longest possible manner how to drive from wherever I was to them. Seriously, all the interstates and such. When I would tell them that I know how to get to their nearest town and just needed the specifics on the country and country roads for the last leg, I would catch attitude for it. On a positive note, I should have realized that I was likely the only new voice they heard in quite a while, so I gotta give them that one in some instances.

 

"Ice is only slippery when you touch it.."

 

Makes me want to ask the curator of that gem what, exactly, does that statement MEAN to him/her. Probably would have gone to some very stupid places to arrive at something approximating a justification for that peculiar insight.

 

It's actually science/physics but people who hear it usually laugh....

 

I'm Montana born and raised, but I moved away for a few decades, been back for about 5 years.

I can say, with no doubt, that we give directions differently than how folks from other places give directions.

 

Ever gone to a Hutterite colony? Now THAT can be an adventure. They once told me to go up a certain road with a steep hill in the winter time. I spun out and had to stand on the brake until help came, which was in the form of a 10 year old boy driving a 12 wheel farm tractor. That was when I was told that there was another road going up another hill that got truckers stuck also.
Yeah, folks out here give directions differently, which I fully expect with "turn right at the triangle shaped mailbox, then left at old Fred's barn which you'll see right after the dead tree with a white stripe". Yeah, that works, but really, I know how to drive from Edmonton to Lewistown on my own. That's part of my job description and such. Just tell me the part from the highway to your bins. I got the rest handled up to that part.

 

'Girl Directions' - Psychostick. Lol.

 

At Central Oregon Truck CO.: Mechanic- Do you need mud flaps on the truck?
Me: Well, yeah. Even the law says so.
Mechanic: But, the trailer is pretty much a mud flap. You don't need mud flaps on the truck.
Me: *Staring*
Mechanic: You don't need mud flaps
Me: I think the law disagrees.

Another one:
Me: *trying to get new shock cord* "I need four strands of the 40 foot sections"
Mechanic: *brings out three* Is this enough?
Me: Three is less than four. I really need four.
Mechanic: Will this work though?
Me: Three is still less than four.