Phrases dispatchers hate.

DM Bowman Williamsport Maryland one fine summer day. I just came up from Alabama where it was around 114 and higher than that in humdity. Dressed for the weather as well. (Cutoffs, tee shirt, hat and boots steel toe and gloves for the hot surfaces in the sun.)

The Dispatch office was enough to contain 20+ suits, three item suits with vests, over jacket and ties and so on. Air conditioning had the entire office down to 62. (Paraphrase) Tractor trailer was sleeper mack with a pines Box I believe it was not far outside fueled up and ready for another round wherever it may be.

The youngest dispatcher spent 20 minutes telling me about the dress code.And another 10 about proper workplace safety (Steel toes anyone You are standing on them...) and a spiel about a few other workarounds I was in a habit of doing.

Where I was one hour prior to arrival at that yard to get fuel and dispatched compared to where I was now a hour later having decided Im getting out of this crazy outfit and go find work more suited to the situation elsewhere in the USA. And all dispatcher had to do was give corporate approved speeches about things that have no bearing what so ever in 114 degree Alabama weather with a tornado outbreak in progress.

Not a word about a missing driver, missing truck and trailer after the storm system had passed. Not a care about all that potentially a missing 65000 dollar coop load and so forth.

The minute I stepped into their HQ Dispatch office? What do they do? Give me their undivided attention for a one way conversation about frivolous company stuff. Managed to waste a hour and 15 minutes of my onduty time. Many of you will laugh and throw things at me yelling BS... and you would be right. But I have been known to log frivolous remarks such as "Dispatch Propaganda Reeducation Hour" in the logbook. =) That should get a burr under someone's saddle.

Took a night of country bar fighting in the hills and when the clean up and medical ows were taken care of orientation with the new outfit was two weeks after I had mentally made the decision to move on while the dispatcher was standing on my safety toed boots and did not notice.

And to think I actually interviewed once in a Searcy Trucking Company for that. But did not get the job because I was too old and would have scared them young ones in that main office really easily.

 

NO

 

I had four dispatchers like that in my lifetime. One I called Pappy (Daddy...) in one of my first true trucking working.

He was such a wealth of knowledge. And that was what a lifetime could do, to set everything and everyone into his memory like a elephant. It was a very strong influence on me as a Driver. However my last dispatcher was scary good. All I had to do was type a couple sentance in free macro what the situation is at that moment and within a very reasonable time I'll find that he has done the legwork necessary to clear it up. IF all my dispatchers were like that I would have had a much more reasonable trucking over my lifetime.

One dispatcher was a monster. They talk about his personality type and mine. two cooks does not a good kitchen make. I had the operations manager fire him which made him a enemy for life. (Silly... just plain silly... all that feuding and for what?) I think he lives for that in life. Wants to have big strong truckers down on their knees prostrate and groveling for their economic lives to proceed on with a really bad load into a worse week on his say so. I know nothing about Stockholm syndrome until I ran into the drivers affected by this dispatcher. They would raise holy hell in the drivers room having killed him a thousand times over but trot upstairs happy to have a 200 mile overnight delivery.

UGH.

 

"X1 is on line 2 for you".....

 

Boss to dispatcher,, "put them all on hold, let's get lunch". I was in the office once when they did that.

 

This is how I picture what is going on at the other end of the line when I am on hold

 

Phrases my dispatchers hated hearing.

"Hello, this is Willy."

"That's a lovely tie you're wearing, step closer to the window so I can get a better look at it."

"I told you to never call me on the phone when I'm working."

"You're kinda cute mr dispatcher, wanna be my girlfriend?"

"Does your mother know you're stupid?"

"F'k you!"

 

Dispatch: When is that load going to get there?
Me: Right after I get there.

 

You cant forget, "I had to eat."

 

My favorite dispatcher time is when leaving the house.

Memphs: "Yer supposed to be here at 8 AM"

Me: "so I can sit there until 2 Pm waiting for you to come up with something? Why waste this valuable time?"

Wonder why I don't deal with Memphis dispatch too much HA...