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<p>[QUOTE=&quot;Aussie, post: 151454, member: 2830&quot;]Now 5 months since I last drove a big rig and as I feared the Meningitis that started my downfall is still making life miserable for me. My mind is&#039;nt what it was, fears I never had, caution that seems to border on triviality. Memories of the past, my childhood, even recent events have no start and no finish - everyday I struggle to remember what the day was and what I did and short term is virtually non existence. I don&#039;t know what it is to dream now as silly as that sounds. The Dr&#039;s offer no explanation as they seem to think I&#039;m recovered fully but I know better as I&#039;m the one running in confusion. I sleep 10 hours and I wake as tired as I went to bed - no desire to do anything, no strength to make an effort. Sometimes I think that God made a mistake in letting me survive. </p><p>When admitted, my body went into self protect mode - arms and legs had gone blue-grey, eight heated blankets on me to try and warm me up, cold packs to help bring my temperature down, headaches are still constant, still light sensitive, legs still play up.</p><p>Tears are something that come too often, depression is something I don&#039;t accept but I have it big time.</p><p>How does one deal with this? An act of God, a test to see if I&#039;m worthy of admission to Heaven, or just plain bad luck. Still getting constantly sick and it&#039;s something I&#039;ve never had to handle before. I was too old to get Meningitis![/QUOTE]</p><p><br /></p>

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