Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Discussion in 'The Welcome Wagon' started by Snazzy, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Glad to see Mc8541ss is safe and back with us, W5IT hints of a possible train wreck in the near future, pjw044 is concerned about dropping the soap, and Rivdev50's has dirty thoughts in his mind. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    The night past slowly and I had gotten little sleep. The metal bunk was hard as nails and I wasn't in the best of moods, when Captain Ranger showed up. He escorted me back to the interview room and put on a pot of coffee.

    I sat at the table, " You think, I might get something to put on ? "

    Captain Ranger tossed it over, " That sack has some of your things in it. That Darline chick dropped it off. She said, that she'd be by later to visit you. "

    I tugged on the jeans, " Man ! How much longer are ya'll going to keep me here ? I need to..."

    Ranger poured us a cup, " Your really something ! You shoot a man and leave him for dead and don't even care ! That's cold blooded ! "

    I took a sip, " Can you pass the sugar ? Thanks ! Hey, this isn't bad ! "

    Ranger sat across from me, " So, you ready to confess ? "

    I bummed a smoke, " Thanks ! Now, listen to me ! I can't confess, because I haven't done anything. Ya'll are going to find that out and when you do, I'm going to ..."

    Ranger flopped down the photos, " That's him on life support, that's the crime scene, this is the gun you left behind, and ..."

    I snatched it up, " WAIT A MINUTE ! This is a picture of the gun that shot him ? I'm confused ! "

    Ranger grinned, " Confused as a fox ! You confronted him in that parking lot, as he was getting in his car and shot him ! Then you dropped that weapon and high tailed it out of there. Our witness heard the shot and saw you driving away. Why don't you just admit it ? "

    I defended myself, " If that's the gun, I can prove that it's not mine ! "

    Ranger bit, " How ? "

    I was honest, " Because, I wouldn't be seen dead carrying around a sissy gun like that ! What is that, a 25 semi-auto, with pink handle grips ? A pimp wouldn't carry something like that around. I don't think a self respecting prostitute would ! You got to be kidding me ! "

    Ranger pointed, " That's his blood it's laying in and this other picture here shows where you peeled out. Yeah, you were pretty smart leaving that gun behind, but you made too many other mistakes. "

    I buttoned my shirt, " Your full of it ! "

    Ranger counted his fingers, " First, you hated his guts and wanted him dead, by your own admission ! Second, your an ex-cop and from what I hear. Well, you've had some past ties with ... Well, let's say the Family. Third, you shot him in the balls ! Only a jealous man would shoot..."

    I giggled, " Your serious ? He was shot in his gonads ? Oh man, that must of smarted like hell ! ####, I almost feel...."

    Ranger exploded, " You think that this is funny ? A man is gunned down and left laying in his own blood ! AND YOU THINK IT"S FUNNY ! "

    I rolled on the floor, " Stop ! Stop ! Your killing me ! "

    Ranger gave up, " Go ahead and laugh, but we'll see who last laughs, err laughs laughs, oh frig it ! "

    So, Captain Ranger had to assist me back to my cell. Yep, I was doubled over and doing my, hyena on laughing gas impression. Of course, I did feel his pain. Well not really, but my sides sure ached from laughing so hard. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
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  3. W5IT

    W5IT Light Load Member

    Aug 31, 2007
    Central, LA
    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm my dear Watson, this surely sounds like a wound only a FEMALE would inflict on a man's genitalia. Possibly one she caught "Sowing wild oats". Or the recipient of the "Wild oats being sown" when she found out he was married...........
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2008
  4. pjw044

    pjw044 Heavy Load Member

    Time to get sprung from the gray bar hotel.................
  5. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Sorry Snazzers, but I posted last night and you guessed it. Yep, when I hit the submit reply button, everything went South. Anyway, I'm just too beat tonight to do much. So, please stay tuned and hopefully tomorrow night I'll be able to continue. I see that W5IT made a good guess, as to whom shot Guitar Man. Any other Snazzers are welcome to take a stab at it and this could be bigger than, ' Who shot J.R. Who Wing, of the tv show Dallas. ' Well, it could be. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
  6. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Yep pjw044, it's time to check out of the gray bar hotel, but I liked your earlier reference, " Gray BAT Hotel ." What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    A week had passed since my release and I was sitting in the dark clutching the Dear Barney letter. I had read over it, so many times that it was etched in my brain. Yep, Darline had left it on the dinning table the day she had left. My mind voices tried to make sense of it, but sometimes things just never make any sense.

    Mind Voice One summed it up, " Dear John, err, ... Barney, I hope that things work out for you and you'll forgive me for leaving. We've had some beautiful moments together and I'll never forget them. I've decided to go back to California and be with an old friend. She's a lovely person and my soul mate. I've also been offered a contract with a recording company and with any luck, I'll be able to break into the business. Please don't try to change my mind and this is the best for both of us. So long, your's truly, Darline Slut. "

    Mind Voice Two added his two cents, " Screw her ! She's just like the rest of em and out, for what she can get. You can't blame her for that ! She's had a hard life and is barely 18 years old. Hell, I know we'll miss her, but we've got bigger problems to deal with. "

    Mind Voice Three piped up, " Brother you can say that again ! If Poe Dunk PD files that case against us and Junior doesn't change his mind. Well, we could end up in prison, or living on the street again ! "

    Mind Voice Two defended Junior, " He just did what he had to do ! There our name was all over the front page and on the local news. "

    Voice One remembered, " Yeah, it must of been a slow news week and they sure did a hatchet job on us. Remember what they were saying ?
    Poe Dunk Police, assisted by a Texas Parks and Wild Life Ranger have arrested a local man, for attempted Capital murder. The suspect was identified as Barney Goose, who is the General Manager of TLX. Sources close to the investigation describe Goose, as being a career criminal with a lengthy criminal record and past ties to organized crime. His victim was the beloved Guitar Man who was shot down like a dog and left for dead in a pool of his own blood. Guitar Man is a sitting member of the City Council and was recently appointed, as the District Attorney for the Poe Dunk Municipal Court. Hundreds of Well Wishers have kept a candlelit vigil in front of the court house. The reverend Owl Sharp Tongue gave a passionate speech in which he described this, as being a typical hate crime commonly committed by raciest Hate Mongers. When Sharp Tongue learned that both the suspect and victim were white he quickly left. "

    Knock, knock, knock, " Barney, it's Dan ! Let me in. "

    I did, " Come on in Dan ! What's going on ? "

    Dan flipped on the light, " Man ! It's dark in here ! I didn't think that you were home, but..."

    I popped two tops, " Here have a beer and take a seat. I'm glad that you stopped by and..."

    Dan had to ask, " Where's Darline at ? "

    I was honest, " She's not here and left me while I was in jail. "

    Dan took a gulp, " That's too bad ! I really liked her and so did my wife. "

    I bit my tongue, " Yeah, Darline had a lot of female friends. So, what's going on at the Nut Farm ? "

    Dan snickered, " Nut farm ! That's a good one ! Your a Hoot Barn ! Oh, before I forget ! Ed said, that he'd be in touch with you and ..."

    I lit up, " Screw em ! They can keep that job and stick that company car up their rear ! I can't believe that..."

    Dan agreed, " I know ! All they care about is keeping TLX out of the this and leaving you twisting in the wind. I know, that you didn't shoot that guy and you told me about that other stuff. "

    Knock, knock, knock, " Can I come in ? "

    I opened up, " What the hell do you want ? "

    Wifey paused, " Oh, I didn't know that you have company. "

    Dan leaped up, " I was just leaving ! Barn, give me a call later. See ya ! "

    So, Dan made tracks, as I stood there in shock. I mean, why in the hell would x-wifey stop in to see me ? Yep, I knew that something wasn't right and this sure wasn't a social visit. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2008
  7. pjw044

    pjw044 Heavy Load Member

    Beware of the circling sharks, sniffing the water for blood....
  8. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Yep Pjw044, the sharks are circling, as Life Goes On.

    Wifey's eyes were puffy from lack of sleep and she seemed a bit off her stride. I plopped back down at the bar and waited for her to speak first. There was a moment of silence, before her voice filled the air.

    Wifey had to ask, " Are we alone ? Where's your girlfriend at ? "

    I was honest, " She's not here and probably won't be back. "

    Wifey beat around the bush, " How is everything ? "

    I rolled my eyes, " Just Peachy ! Now, what do you want ! "

    Wifey fought back tears, " He's out of his coma and is able to talk. That's why I'm here. He said, that it wasn't you who shot him and ...."

    I lit up, " OH REALLY ! Imagine that ! He gets shot and the first thing you do is name me as the prime suspect. I didn't have any reason to..."

    Wifey began crying, " I'm sorry, I'm sorry ! When it happened I thought that you did it ! I was wrong ! "

    I blew smoke, " You #### sure were ! So, who did do it ? "

    Wifey's lips quivered, " I can't tell you, but no one is going to be arrested and he promised me that ! "

    I took a swig, " Look ! Sit down over there and get a grip on yourself. Now, what the hell is going on ? What do mean that ...."

    Wifey sat on the couch, " Well, I might as well tell you. What happened was an accident. You see, he bought me that gun..."

    I was way ahead of her, " OH, I get it ! The Idiot shot his balls off and is trying to get sympathy ! "

    Wifey shook her head, " No ! It really was an accident. He wanted to have some protection, but we only had that 25. Anyway, he was taking it out of his waistband and it went off. Ostrich Neck, I mean Guitar Man went into shock. He was out cold and some guy passing by saw a car speed away. He described you to a tee and ...."

    I knew that part, " Yeah ! Some eyewitness ! That old blind fool almost got me charged with it. Of course, you giving the cops a picture of me and.."

    Wifey hung her head, " I was wrong, but what else was I to think ? "

    I bragged, " If I wanted that SOB dead ! He would be dead ! They'd never find a piece of him and I'd have twenty witnesses..."

    Wifey agreed, " I know and after I thought about it. Well, you wouldn't of shot him and left any witnesses. "

    I grinned, " Yeah, you know me pretty good. You know, when all of this gets out, he's going to look pretty stupid. I bet, that he can kiss his political career goodbye and....'

    Wifey dropped her bomb, " Oh no ! He's doing fine ! Well, he might be paralyzed, from the waist down and .."

    I didn't believe her, " Wait a minute ! He shoots himself and ..."

    Wifey explained, " Well, he just claimed that someone jumped him in the parking lot and the gun went off. It all makes sense and now the cops are looking for ...."

    I guessed, " Don't tell me ! A one armed man, with bushy hair ! "

    Wifey snickered, " Your a Hoot ! Did you know that ? "

    I was serious, " Well, what happens when I spill the beans ? I mean, all I have to do is call the cops and ..."

    Wifey called my bluff, " You won't do that ! That would make you a snitch and we both know how you hate snitches ! "

    I defended myself, " No ! That wouldn't be snitching ! Ostrich Neck put his own nuts in the vice. I'd just be a good citizen and ..."

    Wifey spat, " Well, go ahead and call them ! I dare you to ! They won't believe you and I'll swear that you admitted hiring someone ! "

    So, I pointed Wifey towards the door and bid her a goodnight. Yep, she had a point alright. I mean, it would be my word against theirs. Yeah, I knew how that would come out and besides. I was off the hook and things were looking better. Yep, maybe things would work out, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
  9. mc8541ss

    mc8541ss Road Train Member

    Sep 22, 2007
    Lower Alabama
    I think ole Snazzy just might come out of this one okay..........What do yall think??????
  10. pjw044

    pjw044 Heavy Load Member

    O.K. how much worse can it get !!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh crap, wish i hadn't said that....hope the jinx ain't on ol'Snazz..

  11. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Let's see, Mc85 thinks that things might improve and Pj44 isn't so sure. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    I had to borrow Captain Hooks old clunker to the TLX terminal. Ed and Junior were waiting in my office, as I sashayed in.

    Ed spoke first, " Come on in and have a seat Barney. "

    I nodded to Junior, " How have you been Junior ? "

    Jr was standoffish, " I'm doing alright ! "

    I sat, " Sorry that I'm late, but I had to borrow a car to..."

    Ed pulled it out, " This is the receipt from the police pound. I had to pay the towing and storage fees. Those cops sure tore the hell out of it ! "

    I apologized, " Sorry about that, but I didn't know they had impounded it, until I was released. "

    Jr folded his arms, " Ed ! We might as well get this over with. Barney ! This isn't easy, but I feel it's the only choice we have. Now, I understand that the police have cleared you and..."

    I jumped in, " They had to ! See, I didn't have anything to do with any of that and ..."

    Junior held out his palms, " Wait and let me finish ! Barney ! The harm has been done ! We can't keep you on here, as General Manger. Now, Ed and I have put together a fair severance package. Read it over and see what you think. "

    I glanced over it, " Ya'll are kidding me ? It says here, that I owe ya'll money and that can't be right ! What hell is going on ? "

    Ed grinned, " That was all in your contract and it's perfectly legal ! "

    I stood up, " No ! I never agreed to pay a monthly lease for that high priced Mercedes and what's this ? Ya'll can't deduct this from .."

    Junior fumed, " We can and we did ! Right there on page two, paragraph six, line five ! It states, that any losses caused, by you in your capacity, as GM, will and can be, deducted from ..."

    Ed concurred, " Junior is right Barney and it's all in there ! "

    I waved it in the air, " I'll see what my attorney has to say, about all of this and if I have to sue ya'll ! Well, I will ! "

    Junior snickered, " Go ahead and sue us ! You don't have a leg to..."

    My mouth foamed, " Why in the hell, are ya'll doing this to me ? All I ever did was try to ..."

    Jr talked over Ed, " It's your own fault Barney ! Ed and I, found out how you were playing us, against each other ! My mother is the one that figured it out and she ......"

    I rolled my eyes, " That's BS and ya'll know it ! Both of you wouldn't leave me out of it, but I tried to ...."

    Ed patted Jr's shoulder, " See ! I told you that he'd pull this ! Now Barney, you don't have to admit to it, but we know what you did and ..."

    Junior smiled at Ed, " Yeah ! You were right Ed and mother was too ! "

    I headed for the door, " This isn't over ! I'm not one of your stupid drivers and ya'll haven't heard the last of this ! "

    So, I exited stage right and stomped out. Well, it was a half stomp and sashay combo, with a touch of Goose trot. Yep, I was mad enough to eat nails and was seeing red. No ! Not as much at them, but at myself. You know, I hadn't read that employment contract. Yep, I had just signed on the dotted line, where Pompous ### asked me to. Of course, I knew better and that's why I beat myself up so much. Well, I didn't actually beat myself but.... Well, you know what I mean, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
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