Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Awwww what hit submitt and all went south............ what a pot of luck that was ......... anyway hope everyone had a good new year ...... and lets see what happens to ol Barney next!

 

Barney, from now on, before you post, highlite the entirety of your post them hit Ctrl-C. That will copy it. That way if you lose it you can paste it back again..

 

I see that Knife Edge is back for her abuse and Kenmar sure knows his puter stuff, but here's the problem. My 1999 Gateway is running Windows 98 and it's explorer version is obsolete. So, I updated to Firefox, which isn't compatible with Windows 98 and requires Windows 2000. You with me ? So, I've had one son in law, two cousins, the meter reader, post woman, the well diggers, trash guys, church ladies and four year old nephew attempt to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. So you ask, " Why doesn't he just buy a new computer, or at least upgrade the software ? " Good question ! Uh, it's like this ! I've been saving up and want a wireless laptop. I already have free wireless access, thanks to my neighbor, but every time that I've spotted a good deal. Well, I either don't have the funds, or someone else beat me to it. Yes ! I'm as cheap, as China Doll and tight, as the bark on a tree. Anyway, it definitely is my puter and not this site. Matter of fact, I haven't done near enough butt kissing lately and need to again remind all Snazzers, how fortunate we are. Yep, without the hard work, dedication and countless dollars spent keeping this site going. Well you know, what I mean. Let's have a Big Snazzy, ' That a Boy ! ' for all the Truckers Report founders, staff and folks that donate to keep it going. I hope someday soon, to be able to donate a little something myself. Which reminds me, that sometime shortly I'll be... How should I put this ? Indisposed ? Yeah, that's it ! I'll be incarcerated, uh.., indisposed for awhile. No ! Don't get all teary eyed and feel my pain. I'll beat this wrap, but I can't avoid the ride. It's best that I take care of things and get it all behind me. No ! I haven't been a fugitive and just became aware of this a few weeks ago. Anyway, it'll be sometime in the next few days, or perhaps a week, or two. Now, I won't be gone that long. Nope, I figure not less than a week, nor more than 2 to 10 years. There will be more about this, as Life Goes On. Please don't ask for details yet. I promise, I'll include everything there is and then some more. Oh by the way, some of these stories are more, true than fiction. Well, let me reboot and see if this post. I plan to return in a few minutes, but just in case.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

It was cold enough to hang beef and I was shivering like the leaves on a tree. Some Dirty Dingus Cop had turned the air conditioning on and my soaked clothes had turned stiff. I managed to scoot to the corner of the cell and was sitting Indian style. You know, my knees tucked into chest and arms wrapped around my shins. My teeth chattered and the coldness was bone deep. I could hear the other inmates down the hall, but we couldn't see one another. I was afraid that New Moan Ya was setting in and wasn't sure that I'd make it through the night. Of course, I wasn't sure what time it was, because there weren't any windows, nor clock on the wall. The clanking of keys and footsteps approaching caught my attention. I managed to straighten my legs and use the wall to stand up. The Grey Bar door slowly swung open, as an Angel's Voice sang out my name, " Mister Goose ? Are you back here ? "

I tried to answer, " I'm FREEEZZZZING ! "

The Angel came closer, " Here ! Put this blanket around you and follow me. "

So, she led me down the hall, through the lobby and into a small office. I sized her up and took mental notes. Let's see, late 20's, wearing a cop uniform, complete with badge and gun, 5' 8", a little plump, large caboose, short ponytail and seems nice enough.

She pointed, " Have a seat and I'll be right back ! "

So, I tried to sit down, but the heater vent. You know, where the hot air comes down from the ceiling. Well, it was closer to desk than to the chair, so I stood under it and hugged the blanket. She returned carrying a medical kit and pointed, " Go ahead and sit ! I need to clean those cuts up and you'll need to hold still. "

I sat down, " Man ! I'm still FRE FRE FRREEEZZZING ! "

She dipped the Q-Tip, " This is going to sting a little ! Hold still and keep your head straight. That's good. Oh, this is pretty bad ! "

I flinched, " What is that ? "

She read the label, " It's May Cure A Comb and it'll keep it from getting infected. How did your clothes get wet ? No wonder your freezing. "

I nodded, " Some Idiot hosed me down and then they turned that ac on. I bet, it's 20 below zero back there ! "

Angel Voice giggled, " It can't be that bad ! It's about 40 degrees outside and it's warm in here. You need to hold this bandage and keep pressure on it. I'll be right back ! "

So, she disappeared again and left me alone. I cheated and sneaked a peek at the white bandage. Yep, I must of still been bleeding and my lips felt swollen. I could also feel a knot over my eye and my teeth felt loose.

Angel set them on the desk, " Change into these and get out of those wet clothes. I'll be back in a minute. "

So, I waited for the door to shut and slithered out of the old. Then I slipped on the dry ones. Yep, a perfect fit. NOT ! Nope, the pants were five sizes too large and the t-shirt fit like a slip. You know, everything was way too big.

Angel knocked and then entered, " Here ! I just made this fresh and it'll help warm you up. How do they fit ? "

I rolled my black eyes, " What did ya'll do, arrest a circus clown ? Oh, thanks for the coffee. Do you know, when I can make a phone call ? "

Angel rushed me, " We need to hurry and get you back. I'll put you in a regular cell and there's phone in there. Just, leave your wet clothes and I'll put them in your property bag. Are you ready ? "

So, I sashayed limped back and she opened the end cell. Yep, it was a regular cell and had someone prone on the bottom bunk. He didn't stir and she shut the door.

I spoke through the bars, " Hey ! I sure appreciate this and you'll never know how much ! I don't think, that I'd lasted much longer. "

Angel smiled, " You'll be fine ! Oh, before you call anyone, I'd suggest that you wait. You'll be transfered to County tomorrow and they'll lower your bond there. Now, do me a favor and promise to behave ! "

I had to ask, " Why are you being so nice to me ? I mean, every cop here wants to rip me a new one and ... "

She patted my hand, " We're all of God's children and this makes me sick. They shouldn't treat anyone like this and they know better ! My husband is fine and he's at home now. "

I caught that, " Whose your husband and what does he have to do, with any of this ? "

Angel Voice turned and walked, " Oh I thought, you knew ! Officer Skinny is my husband. Well, have a good night and God bless you. "

So, she disappeared down the hall, as my jaw hit the floor. I mean, this was too much ! Yep, what was a sweet, God fearing, nice, young lady, like her, being married, to a badge heavy, punk, like him ? Yep, I'd seen it all and this sure took the cake. Anyway, I was plume tuckered out and climbed on the top bunk. Yep, at least I wouldn't freeze to death and zzzzzzzzzzz, What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

well at least something is goin good is goose's world

good luck on the mini vacation to there snazzy....i know i'll be waiting for your return

 

GAW DANGIT!!!

I dunno if I can wait 2 ta 10 to hear "the rest of the story"...

I might have to rob a bank and get the story in person. What prison did you say you were going to Snazzy?

 

Come on to SC, I'll hide ya here on my farm....I hope all turns out ok...I'll be thinkin' of ya....

 

Well well......... Ol Barney hit the big one ......someone wanted to help him .... aww how sweet and him in wet clothes with the a/c on ...... freeze yourself to death.. well lets hope all goes well and he get to leave soon ............ hummmm dont sound good now do it? What a way to start off the New Year?

 

Either this guy is dead and Barney is going to eat another wrap, or there's going to be hell to pay when he wakes up.. Where is the smart money being placed?

 

I'm afraid you may be right Ken.
Put him with a stiff and pass the blame.
Snazz, take care and we'll all be wating faithfully for your return.