Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Discussion in 'The Welcome Wagon' started by Snazzy, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    578
    37
    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    0
    Nope ! Mike and his Motely Crew hadn't seen the Little Angel and time was running out. We assembled in front of the River Queen and formed a search party. I spoke loudly, " Mike, if you'll have your Brothers check the lake roads and I' have the locals check the Marina. "

    Mike barked his orders, " Brothers ! Pair into groups of two and ride all of roads from here to the freeway ! The kid's name is Orvile and he shouldn't be hard to spot. "

    Capt Hook tugged my sleeve, " Barney, I need to talk to you. "

    I pointed to Missy, " She'll be in charge here and if you locals want to help. Well, just get with her and she'll tell you where we haven't looked. "

    Capt Hook took me aside, " That Officer Skinny, says that some evidence is missing. Do you know anything about that ? "

    I lit up, " No ! I just towed it in and .... "

    Hook dropped his bomb, " Well, I guess it's not too important. He bought a case of Galwiser and took off. "

    I caught that, " Wait a minute ! He bought a case of beer, in uniform, and driving that patrol car ? Hell, something's not right ! "

    Mike staggered over, " Hook, next time you have a problem. Well, just don't talk down to me, in front of my men ! "

    Hook offered his paw, " I didn't mean to upset you and from now on I'll watch what I say, in front of them. Your alright in my book ! Not too many folks today will help look for a lost child and ... "

    Missy broke in, " We found him ! You'll never guess where he was ! "

    I didn't want to, " Where was he ? "

    Missy pointed, " He was hiding on that service boat that you have. "

    I blew smoke, " That figures ! Where is he now ? "

    Missy giggled, " They took him over to Hook's and are trying to sober him up. They said, he'd drank a bunch of beer. "

    Hook had to ask, " You weren't drinking on the job, were you Barney ? "

    I confessed, " No ! But I bet, that I know, what Officer Skinny is up to. "

    Missy pointed, " I'll run and put on our steaks. Your still planning to eat with me, aren't you ? "

    So, before I could answer she wiggled off like a China Doll in an earthquake. "

    Hook elbowed me, " Man ! She's a looker and I think, she's got the hots for you Barn. "

    Mike got his eyes full, " ####, you can sure pick em ! "

    I down played it, " She's just lonesome and .... "

    Hook turned, " I'll check on the kid and take your time Barn. No need to rush things and let me know, what happens. "

    Mike took a swig, " Some guys have all the luck ! What's wrong Barn ? You look pissed off. "

    I dropped my bomb, " That stupid cop, Officer Skinny came by and there's something wrong, with that guy. He as much, as threatened me and I'm a little worried. "

    Mike gave the LOOK, " What did he say ? "

    I was honest, " He said, that he knows how to deal with scumbags, like me and what worries me is this. He's pulling a fast one and it's not right. See, his Sgt messed up and left some evidence on a boat that I impounded. Well, I took it and that's what Orvile got into. "

    Mike was all ears, " You took some evidence and ... "

    I drew a picture, " It was just a case of beer, but that's not important. It's the fact that he's not playing by the rules. You see, being honest and doing what's right , is what being a cop is all about. If he'll bend the rules and plant evidence, against a couple of kids... Well you know, what I mean. "

    Mike got it, " He's the same one, that arrested you and tried to file those false charges on. Hey, here's what we can do ! We can't snub out law dogs, because it's in our constitution. You know, if a cop is just doing his job and he's on the up and up.... "

    I gave the LOOK, " Bull Crap ! When I busted the Brothers they had a contract out on me and don't tell me they didn't ! "

    Mike educated me, " They did, until Guilty Dog's ol' Lady blew him to kingdom come. Anyway, there's no contract out on you now and that was a long time ago. What I'm saying is, if that cop is dirty, we can do him and ... "

    I rolled my eyes, " Are you nuts ? You can't kill a cop and get away with it. That's a Capital Offense; and what for ? Over, a case of beer and ... "

    Mike grew grim, " If he'll make charges up on you and plant evidence. Well, we need to do something. I've got my Brothers to look after and ... "

    I'd heard enough, " This is crazy and your drunk ! Hey, I need to go over there and eat. Why don't you hangout at my place and I'll be over in a little while. "

    So, Mike staggerd inside the River Queen and I went and locked the shop up. Of course, I hid the Lady Rescue behind the Marina and let Capt Hook in on my plan. Yep, when Sherry showed up he was to tell her, that I had been called out and wouldn't be back, until Elsie came home. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
     
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  3. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    578
    37
    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    0
    Yes Snazzers, I'm having puter problems again. Let's see if this post. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Now, I didn't describe Missy in great detail, because .... Well, how can I put this ? See, she was built funny, but not like Sherry. Nope ! Missy had a firm butt ox, was in her late 20's, had curly dish water blonde hair, stood 5'9 ", slender, and .... Well, she had a rack that Dolly Pardon would of killed for. I mean, she was so top heavy that she couldn't tie her shoes. Nope, they were real alright and sure stuck out. Yep, it was hard not to notice them. Matter of fact you couldnt help it. They were almost freakish and when I first saw them, my mind voices figured it out. Yep, somehow Sherry's Butt Ox had grown nippes and ended up on Missy's chest. What a deal ! Anyway, it was a little after 6 pm, when I sashayed over.

    Knock, knock, Knockers, " You Who ? Anybody home ? "

    Missy opened up, " Oh, you made it ! Come on in and they'll be ready in a few. Where's Orvile ? "

    I pointed, " Capt Hook has him and his grandma will pick him up there. Man ! I'll never watch that kid again. "

    Missy stood over the grill, " There's a bar behind that counter, or I have beer in the fridge. Help yourself. "

    I twisted a neck, " This sure is a fancy boat. Is it new ? "

    Missy flipped and seasoned, " It's my husband's pride and joy. He special ordered it and had it customed built. That's the pilot's nest up there and down those stairs is the master bedroom. Back there is where you can fish and it has a special seat. You know, to strap yourself in and fight the big ones. Ontop is where we entertain and this is the galley and living area. I hope your hungrey and I've got potatoes in the micowave. "

    I had to ask, " Where did your husband have to go ? "

    Missy pointed, " You see that book there on the counter ? He writes and promotes them. You know, how to manage your money and avoid over paying your taxes. He'll be in New York, all week. "

    I thumbed the hard copy, " Is this him on the cover ? "

    Missy nodded, " I know ! He's a few years older than me, but age isn't everything and he really is a good man. Why don't you check these out ? "

    So, I grabbed a handful of.... No ! I harpooned the larger one and placed the other one on her plate. I sat at the table, while Missy fetched our baked... Well, micro potatoes. She then sat across from me and we dug in. She was wearing a neat looking exotic getup. You know, I'm sure that it was high priced and probably from Need-Man-Mark-Us. Yep, it had coconut trees, monkies and an island paradise printed on it. The top was bra like and the lower end was a short skirt that split at the side. Missy was sipping some wine and it wasn't the kind you buy at the corner convenience store.

    Missy had to ask, " How is yours ? "

    I fork pointed, " Mine's fine and just like, I like it. "

    So, Missy cut her's into small bite size pieces, as I stuffed my face. The steak was good, but the potato skin was like eating rubber. Of course, I didn't complain and was on my best behavier. Anyway, after our feast and small talk, Missy suggested we go above and witness the sunset. We sat under the umbrella table and from there I could see the whole marina. Yep, Sherry's Thunder Turd was parked in front of Hook's Place. I kept a low profile and pretended to watch the sun sink.

    Missy giggled, " This wine has gone straight to my head. This is going to sound crazy, but I feel like taking a dip. How about you ? "

    I knew better, " It's too cold, to do that ! I bet, that water temperature is 20 degrees colder than .... "

    Missy took my hand, " Don't you ever do anything spontanous ? Come on and it will be fun. "

    I used the excuse, " No ! I better not and I really need to get back to the shop. I've got work out my ying-yang and .... " 'SMOOCH !'

    So, right in the middle of my sentence Missy made her move. Yep, the ol' toungue down my throat and hands on my butt. I stood there in shock and didn't know what to do. I mean, there was no warning and my radar hadn't even picked it up. My arms just dangled by my sides and I kind of went limp. No ! Not down there, I mean all over. What a deal ! Let's break here and see if this post. If so, I'll be back.

    Dang stupid computers, your Snazzy1.
     
  4. Ken

    Ken Couch Commander

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    Oct 29, 2006
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    Ol Barney is gonna fall in the deep stuff again..
     
  5. broncrider

    broncrider Road Train Member

    lets see if i got the story strait....

    barn's got to deal with a pissed off cop, a lonely house-boat wife, a grandama who's grandson got boozed up on a boat, a biker-gang and hook is all worked up

    k o

    im all cought up
     
  6. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    578
    37
    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    0
    Yep Kenmar, the Deep Pink Stuff ! What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Missy whispered, " Let's go down below. "

    I sounded like Minny Mouse, " Are you sure ? We don't have to do this. "

    So, without words she took my hand and led me into the Master's bedroom. It was larger than I had pictured and a huge waterbed faced us. The walls were done in naughty pine and the scent stung my nose. Missy sat me on the edge and seated herself in my lap. The waves bounced us gently, as she licked my ear. I could hear her breath quicken and a purring sound. You know, like a cat does, when their all happy and content. She placed her hand under my shirt and slowly combed my chest hairs upwards. My manhood raised to full staff, as my heart pounded and my senses heightend to an animalistic level. You know, my vision narrowed, ears turned pointy and I could hear the silence. I leaned back and took her in my arms. I had never done the backstroke on a waterbed, but managed to shoulder twist and butt cheek, until we were centered. I toe heeled off my hushed puppies and they dropped silently on the carpet. Missy pawed and tugged on my clothes until there were none left. She slowly unhooked the clasp that held back the beast and they lunged forward. That's when my eyes played their tricks and ruined the moment. Yep, I did a double take and then a third gander. MY GOD IN HEAVEN ! They were enormous ! No ! Well, yes ! I mean, the nipples ! They were like two orange carrots sticking out of two white peaks of flesh. It was like the movie Alien. One of them parted my lips, while the other shoved itself deep in my mouth. I didn't know whether to suck or bite. You know, do you eat a carrot or nurse on it ? Anyway, Missy had strattled my midsection and was sitting upright, ontop of me. I mean, she wasn't leaned over or nothing. Just sitting straight up and trying to bury the sasauge. Now, when a man is being attacked, by two Alien Carrots. Well, it's hard to ... Well, stay hard. Yep, this was a new one on me and I wasn't sure what to do. So, I grabbed the two carrots and tried to lift them off me. Yep, they started sword fighting and the next thing I know. Yep, I became so wrapped up in them. Well, I done forgot about Missy. Yep, I was like a kid with a new play toy and .....

    The door burst open, " You SOB ! "

    What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
     
  7. Ken

    Ken Couch Commander

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    Oct 29, 2006
    0
    Did Barney just get caught playing with another rabbit's carrots? :biggrin_2552:
     
    broncrider Thanks this.
  8. Ken

    Ken Couch Commander

    1,768
    11,941
    Oct 29, 2006
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    Or did Sherry come to kick his but for getting the little bass turd drunk? :biggrin_2554:
     
  9. Headley628

    Headley628 Bobtail Member

    10
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    May 21, 2009
    Conneaut, Ohio
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    I am all caught up once again!! I am thinking it maybe Sherry that walked in - She may have seen him watching the Sun Set~~ Now she is gonna kick Barney ### for getting her grandmonsterson drunk!! Can't wait for the next installment!!
     
  10. Headley628

    Headley628 Bobtail Member

    10
    0
    May 21, 2009
    Conneaut, Ohio
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    Oppsy daisy... I done been moderated....guess you can't use zz's in place of ss's... Live and Learn... :biggrin_25520:
     
  11. Dukesdad

    Dukesdad Light Load Member

    137
    380
    Aug 3, 2008
    toronto ontario
    0
    Poor Barney. His Goose sure gets cooked a lot.
     
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