Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Discussion in 'The Welcome Wagon' started by Snazzy, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. Lil Blue Pony

    Lil Blue Pony Brown Eyed Girl

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    Feb 22, 2008
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    don't know it shows him being online....another one of life's mysteries I suppose........:biggrin_25511:
     
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  3. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

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    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
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    No Kenmar, I'm still kicking but had out of town guest. You know, it's that time of year and school is out. Anyway, they took over my puter and I wasn't able to post. I see that Lil Blue Pony is still with us, so on with the show, as Life Goes On. What a deal !

    I was dressed in my Sunday best and sashayed over to my lowrider. You know, the old clunker that I had. Anyway, it was a bright sunny day and warm even by Texas standards. Yep, the 24 th had arrived and I needed to report in at the Justice Center. Now, it had crossed my mind that being Christmas Eve. Well, maybe the courts would be closed for the holidays. But hey ! The release form said the 24th, so I was going. You know, I didn't want them to claim that I failed to appear. Anyway, the first thing I noticed was the four flat tires. Yep, even for a lowrider that was too low. I knelt down and noticed that all the valve stems had been cut and left inches from where they fell. I heard gravel crunching, as the Thunder Turd swung in. Yep, it was Sherry and she spoke first, " You haven't forgotten about your court date, have you ? "

    I gave the LOOK and pointed, " You don't know anything about this, do ya ? "

    Sherry acted innocent, " No, I just got here ! Are they all flat ? "

    I lit up, " Yeah, and I'm running late. I'm suppose to be there at 9 am. "

    Sherry slid over, " You can drive and we have plenty of time. "

    So, I took the wheel and we headed out. Of course, the thought had crossed my mind and you Snazzers know, what I was thinking. But Hey ! There was plenty of time to solve the case of the cut valve stems. Yep, I'd get to the bottom of this, or my name isn't Barney the Hard Luck Goose. What a deal ! Anyway, we took the loop, headed North, exited the downtown ramp, and parked in the parking garage. It was ten minutes till and I had to sashay fast. Sherry pranced beside me and we got in line. Yep, there was a line of folks ahead of us and waiting their turn. You know, we had to go through one of them metal detecters and empty our pockets. I dumped my items in the plastic tray and passed through without setting off any alarms. Of course, Sherry had her oversized shoulder bag that got the guard's attention. Well, I didn't have time to wait, so I sashayed over to the counter. There were two females and both had on civilian clothing. Well, the Hispanic one was wearing a Tuffy jacket. You know, a police jacket that was three sizes too big. Yep, I figured she must be going steady with one of Alice's finest.

    I handed the form over, " I was arrested on Turkey Day and released on..."

    The Black Female pointed, " See that Bull A Ton Board over there ? You need to find your name and it will have what court you need to report to. "

    So, I sashayed over to the board and read all of the names. Yep, it was in Alf I Bet A Call Order and it took me awhile. Nope ! No Gooses, nor anything close to it. I reread to make sure and Sherry joined me.

    I pointed, " She told me, to check for my name and it's not on here. "

    Sherry hugged my neck, " That's great ! Your lawyer was right and they didn't file any charges. Let's go celebrate ! "

    I wasn't sold, " No ! I'm going to check, back with her to make sure. This is awfully weird and I don't trust them. "

    I rehanded the form, " You told me to check that board and my name isn't on it. Is there someone I can speak with ? "

    Black Fingers keyed the computer, " Oh, I see now ! This is a felony and you need to ... Well, just follow me ! "

    I sashayed and whispered, " Sherry, this is my lawyer's number. Call him, if they take me into custody. Last time, I didn't get to use the phone. "

    Sherry teared up, " This isn't right ! "

    So, the Black Girl... YES ! She was BLACK and was a GIRL ! I'm not being a racist and she was young, black and female. She was very polite and just doing her job. Anyway, she handed the form to the Bank Teller. Well, the lady that was seated behind the glassed in window.

    The Black Girl smiled, " She'll take care of you and I wish you luck. "

    So, I stood there and waited. The Bank Teller was a middle aged white lady and was on the phone, " He never takes me anywhere and I'm sick of it ! He'll see now, what he's missing ! Earl is suppose to meet me here and we're taking the noon flight ! He is such a gentleman and treats me like ... Oh, wait a minute ! I've got someone at the window. What do you want ? "

    I pointed through the glass, " I need to find out, what court to report to. That's my release form there and ... "

    Bank Teller read and fingered the keys, " It doesn't give a court date. Are you Goose, Barney ? Oh, my ! You sure have a long record ! What else do you need ? "

    I was confused, " Well, what's going to happen ? "

    She slid the form back, " Your free to leave and there is no court date. Hold on, I need to get that ! "

    Sherry hugged me, " You see ! We can go to my place and... "

    I broke loose, " Wait a minute, Sherry ! Hey ! I need to know something here and can you tell me ! What's going on ? "

    Bank Teller got snitty, " Look Buster ! That's all I know ! The D.A has the case and it's not been assigned to a court. I don't know why your upset, because your record is five pages long. Do you always act this way ? "

    I pointed, " I want your name and number ! If anyone tries to say, that I didn't come down here, or show up.... "

    Bank Teller scribbled, " That's my name and office number. I'm just a clerk here and having nothing to do, with filing cases. Now, I'm busy and you need to leave. "

    So, I took back the release form and sashayed out. Sherry tried to hold my hand, but I wasn't in the mood. We remounted the Turd and I drove like the wind. Yep, back to the River Queen and time for a show down. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
     
  4. broncrider

    broncrider Road Train Member

    why do i see armed men with black coats that read US MARSHALL or SWAT on them in barney's near future?
     
  5. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

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    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
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    Sorry Snazzers, I tried to post last night and again tonight. My puter still is on the blink and to top that off, my AC went out. Yep, typing in 90 degree heat and all for nothing. What a deal ! Well, don't give up and I 'll be back. Well, computer willing. I do have a borrowed laptop and can stay up to date and maybe soon be able to post with it.

    Nightie Night Snazzers, your Snazyy1.
     
  6. Dukesdad

    Dukesdad Light Load Member

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    Aug 3, 2008
    toronto ontario
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    We'll all be here waiting.
     
  7. Headley628

    Headley628 Bobtail Member

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    May 21, 2009
    Conneaut, Ohio
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    Sorry for being MIA Snazzy1.... Been a little buzy with husband's being in and out of ER with gallbladder attack this last week and surgery yesterday.... but I am all caught up once again, now that he is resting and recuperating. Hope your computer problems resolve themselves!! Waiting impatiently to find out what is in store next for Barney!
     
  8. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

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    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
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    Let's all wish Headley's other half a full and speedy recovery. Broncrider sees swat teams and Dukesdad is waiting. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    I parked in front of the River Queen, but didn't invite Sherry inside. Yep, I figured to be firm, not harsh. You know, let her down easy and all of that. No sense in being hateful or putting her down. It was a little afternoon and the Texas sun beat down on the Turd's roof. Of course, being late December it wasn't too hot. You know, it was bear able. Anyway, Sherry sat in the passenger seat and I behind the wheel.

    I lit a 100, " Now Sherry, we need to get things settled. It's not that I don't like or care for you. You seem like a nice gal and I wouldn't mind staying friends, but that's all. "

    Sherry lit a regular, " What did I do ? We were getting along just fine until SHE showed up ! You know, that SHE'S married and playing you for a fool. I really care about you and .... "

    I blew smoke, " Sherry ! This has nothing to do with HER ! This is about us and our situation. I'm not looking to settle down and have anyone to answer to. You know, I've been there and done that. I like being single and... "

    Sherry didn't want to hear it, " Don't talk down to me ! You'd move in with HER, in a New York second ! SHE has MONEY and is half my age. BUT SHE doesn't care for you, like I do. All I want is for us to be happy and ... "

    I gave up, " LOOK ! I know that Missy is just lonesome and looking. You know, for someone to share time with and ... "

    So, Sherry made her move. Yep, as I was trying to end our ... Well, how can put this ? There really wasn't anything to end... Hell, you know ! Anyway, Sherry swung her arm around my neck and tried to plant one on me. I turned my head and placed my hand on her chest, while my other hand pulled the exit knob.

    I stepped out, " LOOK ! You need to find someone else ! Sherry, there has to be a thousand guys that would love to spend time with you. I'm really just not interested and please leave me alone ! "

    So, Sherry did what she was best at. Yep, she began weeping like a willow and let the tears flow. Of course, it didn't make me feel good and ... Oh, what the hell ! I mean, what was I suppose to do ? Marry the no Butt Ox and father her kids ? Well, screw that ! I left her there balling and sashayed inside the River Queen. To be honest, I really didn't know what to do. Anyway, I got out of my suit and put on my work clothes. It took Sherry a good hour, before she finally drove off. I was back at the shop, when Mike rode up.

    Mike dismounted, " What happened to your car ? "

    I was using the airhose, " Oh, some Idiot cut the valve stems and I had to put new ones on. "

    Mike spat, " If I ever catch anyone doing that they'll sure regret it ! How did your court date go ? "

    I rolled the tire, " Man, it was weird ! They said, that the D.A. accepted the case, but didn't file it in court. I don't know what's going on and need to call my lawyer. "

    Mike agreed, " That's what I'd do ! Well, I need to get going and I'll see you later. You feel like having a beer later ? "

    I tightened the lugnut, " Sure ! I'll be here or over at Hook's place. "

    So, Mike thundered away and I finished remounting the tires. There was one boat that had to be ready and .... "

    Missy wiggled in, " Are you busy ? "

    I lied, " Not really ! What are you up too ? "

    Missy winked, " Whatever turns you on ! "

    So, I agreed to meet Missy later at her place and ... Well, you know, as Life Goes On. What a deal !

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
     
  9. Dukesdad

    Dukesdad Light Load Member

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    Aug 3, 2008
    toronto ontario
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    Glad to see you made it back.
    I don't want to be around when Missy's hubby shows up.
    Is he your lawyer?
     
  10. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    578
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    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
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    Good guess Dukesdad but no cigar... err Snazzy points, as Life Goes On.

    I managed to get a couple of boats ready for pick up and closed the shop around 5:30 pm. I also locked my lowrider and Mike's sportster inside. You know, to keep the vandals from striking again. I sashayed over to the River Queen and spruced up for the big night. You know, doing Missy and doing her right. Oh sure ! Yeah, I knew she was married, but wait ! Missy had told me the whole story and it went something like this. She was born and raised in Florida and her folks still lived there. She had been attending college and the Old Goat had been a guest speaker. She thought that he was sweet and accepted his lavish gifts. Then she learned the truth. Yep, he dumped his wife of 40 years and needed a show wife. Yep, the world was her's if she said, yes. Well, there were a couple of things. You know, a premarital agreement that left everything to her, if he died of natural causes. Yep, if he croaked by accident or under suspicious circumstances. Well, all bets were off. Now Missy was honest with me and had made things clear. She really did care for the Old Goat but wasn't in love with him. Yep, if she could keep him happy and stayed married. Well, you know. No ! It really didn't surprise me any and Frankly, I didn't give a ####. I mean, nukey is nukey and a hard peter-sore-us has no screw-pulls. Anyway, I sashayed over, " Knock, knock, knock. You who ! Anyone home ? "

    Missy opened up, " Come on in ! "

    So, I did and sat at the table. Missy served up the meal and I don't recall what it was. I think, ... No, I really don't remember. Anyway, I was just sitting there and she made her move. Yep, the ole foot under the table and toe squeezed the boys. She had playful grin and was careful not to harm them. You know, it was a hint of things to come.

    I took her hand, " You better watch that, you might start something that you'll regret. "

    Missy wiggled her toes, " You don't scare me any ! You know, you can't rape the willing. Do you want to go below ? "

    So, we did. Yep, Missy was wearing some short shorts and had on a holder top. You know, they held up the melon carrots and showed her firm mid section. Her barefeet left prints in the deep carpet and her butt swung side to side.

    She excused herself, " Why don't you get ready and I'll be right back. "

    So, she disappeared into the bathroom and I stripped down to my boxers. Yep, I'd wore them instead of the fruit looms. You know, they are a little more manly looking and come in different colors. Yep, no skid marks to display and easier to shed. Anyway, Missy returned and had on a lacy nightie. You know, a babydoll outfit that showed it all and then some. The room was dark and soft music played, as Missy slid under the covers and joined me. Our lips touched gently at first and then pressed harder. I took her in my arms and KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, " OPEN UP ! I KNOW YOUR IN THERE ! "

    What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    No nighty night yet, I'll be back later, your Snazzy1.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2009
  11. starcommander

    starcommander Light Load Member

    #### it! It`s got to be your friendly neighborhood stalker. Sherry`s ESP seems to be working very well and has perfect timing. Some say having a women be on time is a good thing but I don`t really think in your case it is. LOL
     
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