Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Uh oh-sounds like old Mr Stiffie is sneaking up on the Snazzster again. Don't bend over.

 

Being an off day for me.
It was nice to sit back an enjoy this story so far.
So keep up with this wild crazy adventure.

 

Yes, Big Duker there's no rest for the wicked, as Life Goes On.

Wifey and I sat down in one of the pews near the rear of the court room. It was packed full of alleged wrong doers and spectators. The baliff would call out a name and the accused would step forward. There were 20 lawyers all huddled around the prosecutors table. Each lawyer would thumb through a stack of folders searching for the names of thier clients. I noticed that the names being called were those unfortuneates that had no attorney. My Shark hadn't shown up and I was beginning to get worried. Yep, the judge would appoint an attorney, but would revoke the bond. Those poor slobs that had made bail were now going to jail for not hiring an attorney. Of course any fools knows that a $ 150 posted for a $ 500 bond is peanuts. A cheap lawyer was $ 750 and that was if you pled guilty. Finally the Shark swam in and sat next to me. He had my file folder in his fin.

The Shark spoke softly, " I can get you a two year probation and a $ 1,000 fine. The prosecutor is wanting to move forward, but I got you a pretty good deal ! That's a lot better than he had been offering ! "

My jaw dropped, " Are you nuts ! A 2 year probation and $ 1,000 fine is just standard plea bargaining for a first offense DWI. What happend to us fighting this and winning ? "

The Shark looked at his Rolex, " It was an offer and I had to inform you of it. We can take this to trial, but I'll need my addtional $ 3,000 fee. "

I squirmed in my seat, " Well, how soon are talking about ? I mean you led me to believe that this wasn't even going that far. Remember ? You were going to get this dismissed and it was a weak case ? Also, you mentioned it would be $ 2,500 more ? Now it's $ 3,000 ? "

The Shark squirmed, " I get $ 200 per hour for every hour spent in court. You have to realize that for every hour in court, I spend a good two hours preparing ! The law is complex and being prepared is the key. I'll need to file pretrial motions, get deposistions, hire an investigator, research other case histories, take my secretary to lunch, pay my country club dues, wine and dine the judge, take the prosecutor quail hunting, and don't forget my new Mercedes ! "

I pulled out my checkbook, but Wifey whispered, " Tell him you'll mail it ! "

I knew something was up, " Listen, Mr Shark, I'll have to mail in the other $3,000. How soon do you have to have it ? "

The Shark swam up to the prosecutor and both of them hee-hawed around like two school kids. They bumped bellies, elbowed each other, and danced around. Finally the Shark told me that it'd be at least 90 days, but he needed his payment within 60 days. I agreed to mail it in as soon as possible and Wifey I left. The ride home wasn't pleasant.

Wifey began to explain, " The strike is over now ! So, I'll be back to work and I'll make enough to pay him."

I wasn't happy, " What do you mean ? What happend to all that money you got from me ? I should have enough money in my business account to pay him and even the bills ! "

Wifey lied, " I had to put a deposit up on that rent house and have all the utilities turned on ! This used car we're driving I had to pay cash for ! I sent Debbie that $ 3,000 you borrowed.."

I interrupted, " Do What ! I didn't borrow any money from her ! Nick is the one that loaned me the $ 3,000. He's the one I need to pay back ! I mean Debbie is nice and all, but Nick is my Army buddy. He's the one that made me the loan ! "

Wifey shot back, " Well go ahead and pay him ! It's not coming out of my account ! I paid Debbie and that's final ! "

I gave up ! Geez ! I'd been out there killing myself and Wifey had been out spending money like there was no tomorrow. I mean what was the point ? It was still just a game to her. She didn't give a flip ! When I got home the worse was to come. Yep ! She'd paid off all of those credit cards from the money she got from our divorce. Then she'd maxed them back out ! She had paid off her attorney and paid the court cost for our divorce. Oh no ! She wasn't through yet ! Then she'd forged a check from my account and had helped herself to half of my business account. What a deal !

So, your asking why was I such a dumb butt ? Well, remember that I hadn't been given much of a choice. It was either go back to Wifey or lose Amelia. I didn't have Sweet Thang to go back to. I guess to be honest about it, I really never thought that Wifey was that mean spirited. She really wasn't, but honestly, I believe that she couldn't help herself. There was something about money and control that she just couldn't deal with. I was hurt and I guess more frustrated than anything else. I called Blow Hard and got a load to haul. I knew that this was it ! The final straw ! No more ! I'd had enough ! The new Barney had been born and he wasn't going to be anyone's fool ever again ! As Life Goes On !

Let's break Snazzers and Snazzetts, ya'lls Snazzy1.

 

Oh... Wifey did it now! She's got Barney all fired up. Yup. He ain't havin' any more of her shenanigans...!

And when Barney says, "no more", he MEANS "no more"!

​

This just ain't gonna be purdy... ​

 

D U C K I E!!!!!!!!! Hey Gurl..........how ya doing ? ? ?

Snazz if I told ya once I told ya twice dump Wifey or I'm gonna bite ya. She's just nooooooo gooooddddd!!!!!!

btw Snazz......I love to watch you sashay!!!!!

 

Yep Ducks we all know what that means, enough is enough ! Oh I see a new poster Renorcr. Let's have a Snazzy welcome, as Life Goes On.

I was out for over a month and had avoided even calling home. Yep, I was lonely and depressed. The weather had turned cold and icy. Amelia was my only friend and I felt like a motherless child. The road can be a miserable place and it was. It seemed as though each load was just like the other. The thrill was gone and I finally realized that life on the road was a way of life. Yep, it's not a job, it's a lot more than that. Either your running hard trying to keep up or your bored silly and waiting for your next assignment. There's no middle ground and that's the hard part. When you want to keep rolling is when things slow down. When you want to slow down is when you have to keep running. So, I ran and waited. Yep, ole Tarmac still had plenty of loads, but again the settlement checks began to worry me. I had closed my Idiot City bank account and opened a business account at a different bank. I had a bank card that allowed me to withdraw up to $100 every 24 hours. Tarmac had gotten so that cash draws couldn't be counted on. I was in Ohio and got a load of steel light post headed for Sin City.

I was pulling a brand new 53' foot flatbed and had Amelia all spruced up. She looked good and ran better than ever. I should of been happy, but I wasn't. The pending DWI, Wifey's back stabbing, and I guess the fear of the unknown had taken thier toll. I had gotten somewhat paranoid and didn't view things the sameway. I always hated truckstops. You know, they were okay to park at. Maybe get a bite to eat or a shower. I use to watch the old drivers climb out of thier rigs. They'd be coughing up a lung and be spitting up blood. I'd always tell myself that trucking was a young man's game. Yep, them old timers were past thier prime. They needed to pack it in and hand over the reigns. Oh I'm sure some of them had it easy enough. Maybe a dedicated run that only required a few hours driving. But, I never wanted to be one of them. Yep, I figured by the time I had grandkids, I'd be in a robe and slippers. You know, taking it easy and enjoying the fruits of my labor. Maybe live on a lake and throw a hook in every once and awhile. Yep, I sure didn't want to be on the road when it got to where I couldn't cut it.

I pulled up at the fuel island at the Petro and gave my information over the speaker. Yep, I was old veteran by now and knew the game well. I set the nozzle in Amelia's tank and pushed the wheeled platform over to wipe her windshield. Yep, I was driver's driver ! A man who could run with the best. At age 38, I was as fit as 20 year old, and no longer a whimp. Yep, all those chickenfried steaks and cold beers had me tipping the scales at over 170 lbs. Of course I was still 5' 9 " and small framed, but that sure beat the 107 lbs I had weighed in the service.

I finished cleaning her windows and pushed the platform back. Her oil was fine and everything was looking good. I sashayed inside and tossed my fuel card down. The attendant swiped the Tarmac card and it was a no-go. Do what ? Yep, I was to call the office. So, I went to the phone banks and called. Ooops ! Must of dialed it wrong, so I tried again. Yep, the same recording, ' This line has been disconnected ! ' Great ! So, I went over to the ATM and drew out $ 100. That, with the cash in my pockets paid the for the 100 gallons, of $ 1.65 per gallon diesel. I was in shock, but tried to assure myself that this was just a glitch. Sure, maybe the lines were down or some kind of mixup. There wasn't much else I could do, so I parked and took my emergency funds. Yep, I kept a hidden $100 bill in Amelia, so I went inside the greasy spoon ordered my usual CFS. Life was full of surprises.

Lets break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Yes Shandera I do sashay well, as Life Goes On.

Early the next morning I made my delivery of light poles to the county yard. I stored my chains and binders and bee-lined it back to the Petro. I spotted a female driver that I knew from Tarmac. She was parked at the fuel island and was crying. She had just learned that our fuel cards had been shut off and the phones had been disconnected. She was delivering the same light poles that I had just dropped off. So, I suggested that she go ahead and make her delivery. I stayed at the Petro and tried to contact somebody about our situation. There were payphones at the Tarmac terminal in Fort Worth. I had called them before, when the business phones had been busy. Usually a driver would answer after several rings.

Ring, ring, ring, " Agent Badnews here ! "

I hesitated, " Agent Badnews ? Errr, I'm an owner operator with Tarmac. Is Blow Hard there ? "

Agent Badnews was all business, " Tarmac Transportation has been siezed and all assets are being inventoried ! All of the employees are to return any and all assets to the Fort Worth or Atlanta yards ! "

I had to find my voice, " So, do what ? I mean ? What's going on ? "

Agent Badnews got coy, " That's all the information I have. If you have any questions call 1-800-BR549. That's the number to our IRS Headquarters in Fort Worth ! Anything else ? "

I hung up and then called the 800 number. Yep ! Ole Tarmac had been siezed by the IRS. What a deal ! No warnings ! No nothing ! That was it ! The only thing I was told, was to make it back in, and find out more. So, I waited for Gertrude. She came rolling in the Petro and was still crying. Her situation was worse than mine. She didn't have a penny to her name and was a fleet driver. Yep, not enough fuel to get back with and not even a dime to eat on. So, I bought her brunch as she tried, but failed to get ahold of her boss. We decided to convoy back together and I put $ 50.00 worth of the $ 1.65 diesel in her tank. Yep, ole Sin City was sure proud of thier truck go juice.

The ride back was odd to say the least. Gertrude was an older woman, but hadn't been a driver very long. Her husband of 30 years had been over the road and she had been a stay at home mom. Her husband had passed away and Gertrude decided to give driving a try. Yep, she was a gear jamming, diesel drinking, tough old bird, and wasn't too happy. Her voice cracked several times over the C.B., as we cursed Tarmac all the way back. We drove non-stop and pulled in just about sunrise. I couldn't believe my eyes. There were at least 50 agents dressed in swat uniforms from different Federal Agencies. Yep, let's see. IRS, DOT, FBI, and a few I didn't even recognize. Ole B.B. came running up to Amelia, as I parked just in front of the gate.

BB flapped his arms, " Don't pull in there ! Thier siezing everything ! You'll lose Amelia and thier not kidding around ! "

I stuck my head out the window, " They can't do that ! I own Amelia and Tarmac is Tarmac ! They don't have a penny in her ! "

A uniformed Goon approached, " Shut her off and step out Driver ! "

I grinned, " No way ! If you want this trailer I'll unhook ! This truck is mine ! I've got her title with me ! "

The Goon jumped up on Amelia's step, " Just shut her off ! We have you blocked in ! "

I looked back in my West Coast mirror. Yep, ole Gertrude had pulled in right behind me. They had her out of her truck and balling. I gave in and shut Amelia off, but kept her keys. The gate opened and I was ordered to pull in. I was thinking about just making a u-turn and leaving, but decided to just cooperate. I mean, what else could I do ? So, I swung in and watched the Agents remove Amelia's license plate. They took my registration card, DOT permit book, and eveything else. I held up well, untill the Goon began to spray black spray paint, over Amelia's Tarmac door banners. That was it.

I shoved the Goon down, " I'll shove that can up your butt ! "

Agent Goon got up and the fight was on. He was bigger and younger than me, but I was a hell of alot madder. Matter of fact, I was so mad, that I was in tears. Yep, ole weeping Barney was a fighting fool that day. BB and Gertrude stepped in and pulled me off. Agent Goon tried to save face.

Goon brushed off his uniform, " Look ! I know your upset ! Think I like doing this ? Just settle down and let me cover those banners ! It's the law and we have to do it ! "

I was still being held back, " You spray one more drop and I'll rip your head off ! Man ! Geez ! What a dick head ! "

Another Agent walked up and played peace maker. Yep, the door banners were covered over with duct tape and I promised to have them removed later. I wasn't allowed to drive Amelia out of the yard. Yep, I'd have to purchase some tags at my expense and return. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Dad gum Snazzy, your stories would bring tears to a glass eye. Gotta love those IRS agents. Had some trouble with them in 92. Never got to actual fight , but darn close.

 

You and Amelia are getting a rough ride, I really hope that something goes right soon. I'm getting all teary eyed worrying about your prospectsWhat will you do now go back to wifey and all that? Oh I hope not! :smt009

 

IRS! Ouch! Dang them you don't want to mess with them. They would pull the rug right out from their own grnadmom feet. Some are nice and will work with you. But the majority are not. It's pay up or we take.