Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

You might be right Sassy, as Life Goes On.

Now the student training trucks weren't anything like the trainer trucks. Ole Red had a fancy T600 with less than 100,000 miles on her. Vic and I were in a three year old FLD that had over 400,000 miles showing. I mean it had been a nice truck at one time. But, it had been trashed out. You know, the fairing was all messed up, from some idiot having the fifth wheel set too close to the trailer. The black rubber on the bumper was coming off and one of her chrome smoke stacks was bent. She wasn't equipped with a jake brake, passenger air seat, nor any other creature comforts. Her seats were stained and filthy, and her rubber floor mat was coming apart. Yep, she looked nice at a distance. But up close she was a dog. Anyway, I figured that she'd do for a few weeks, until I finished my training. So, Vic and I made it to the Post Office distribution center in Atlanta. Of course since we were now over two days late there was a price to pay. Yep, they went by appointment only. So we were sent to the big truck detention lot and told to wait. Yep, if and when a slot opened we'd get unloaded. So, we sat. Yep, we sat there for over 24 hours ! Yep, they'd teach us a lesson. Now, Crook did have a detention policy. You know, if we sat for more than a day then we'd get something like $50 bucks. Well that didn't count if the driver was the cause. Yep, ole Victor really had screwed us good.

Anyway, finally we were assigned a door and Victor backed onto it. Yep, we had to unload the crap ! So, there were three zillion little envelopes that had those little junk mail advertisements. You know, that stuff that you throw away. So, they had a conveyor belt on wheels that rolled up into the trailer. Yep, me and Vic had to pickup every one of those little pieces of trash and toss them on that belt. At the end of the belt a postal employee rolled a canvas cart over to catch the crap. Yep, it was hot back breaking work that took us half the day. Now get this ! Victor called our dispatcher at PST and made up a couple of social security numbers. You see they'd put lumper fees on a comp-data check. Anyway, it's one of the oldest tricks in books. Yep, a driver can cash that check and fill out a bogus receipt for the make believe lumpers. Now, what didn't make any sense, was that those lumper fees were deducted from your pay. Yep, you might get it reimbursed in a few weeks. But chances were you'd never see that money again. Yep, instead of earning the $40 bucks each for unloading, you ended up being cheated out of it. Well, I tried to explain that to Victor. We had finally gotten our paperwork signed and had driven to the local 76. Vic cashed the check and handed me my $60.

I took the money, " Hey Vic you shouldn't of done that ! I mean they're going to deduct that from our pay. "

Vic glowed, " So what ? We got our money ! "

I tried to reason with him, " No we didn't ! We just got cash advances against our paychecks ! They'll deduct that from our driving wages and then they'll never reimburse us. We just got screwed out of the $40 bucks that we would of gotten paid.

Vic laughed and waved his money in my face, " Look ! That's $60 bucks and you got the same ! "

I tried again, " Look Vic ! That $60 dollars is money that you've already earned driving. You with me ? So, you just got a cash advance drawn from your own paycheck. That has nothing to do with unloading that trailer and all you've done is gotten a cash advance. "

Vic smiled, " So what ? We got paid didn't we ? "

I rolled my eyes, " No ! You see, if they don't reimburse us, then they've paid us with our own money ! We just unloaded that trailer for free ! I know how this works, trust me ! "

Vic scratched his Afro, " Your telling me that I just got paid with my own money ? That's silly ! It came from that check that I just cashed ! "

I tried one more time, " Look Vic ! Even if they do reimburse us in three or four weeks. We just loaned the company $60 bucks interest free ! Now, I'm telling you that they're not going to reimburse us. That means that we unloaded that trailer for free ! Now, if your figure in that $ 40 dollars, that would of been on our checks. Well, we lost that $40, as well ! "

Vic still didn't get it, " If they do reimburse us then we're $20 dollars ahead and that beats the $40 they were going to pay ! "

I gave up, " Your right Victor ! Do you really think that the company is that stupid ? They're betting that your going to pull this ! Then they'll come out ahead. Yep, they'll keep that $120 bucks and have us unloading for free. Now, don't believe me ! But, I'm telling you that I went through this with my trainer Red. It's crazy ! I had to stand up to Mother Ed and refuse to head out with you. Remember ? "

Victor never did get it. I mean, most of the students didn't even know how to figure their settlement checks. Yep, if it was short a few hundred bucks, the students thought that they had pulled a fast one. Yep, they were happy as larks to get a few extra bucks on the road. They never did realize that they were screwing themselves. So Snazzers, just remember that every penny that those crooked companies advance, is your money. Yep, it's deducted from your paycheck the minute it's advanced. They're betting that you'll quit before they have to reimburse you. Trust me on this, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Now Victor wasn't all that bad of a driver. I mean when in driving school I'd seen what the average student was capable of. Vic shifted well and kept her in one lane. He was even fairly good at backing. Well, I finally figured out why. You see, Vic had been sponsored through some state program that paid for his school. Then he'd hired on with some outfit and spent a month out with a trainer. Yep, that trainer kicked him off the truck and the company handed Vic his walking papers. So, he hired in on with a different outfit. Yep, same song different verse. Then he hired on with Crook and they refused to accept his previous experience. So, he was hired in as a student there and had been with two different Crook trainers. Well, you see what I'm saying. Ole Victor was a professional student. Now them crooked outfits loved guys like Vic, you know. Yep, get a wheel holder, pay him peanuts, and then show him the door. The company saves paying anyone a living wage and guys like Vic were a nickel per mile, or dime a dozen. Anyway, have you ever met someone and really didn't care too much for them ? You know, you try to get along with them and even blame yourself for any type of discord that arises. Then you realize that it's not your fault. The guy really is a dick-head and he doesn't deserve your friendship.

Well, that's how it was with Vic. I bent over backwards to get along with that guy. You know, I went the extra mile and did all that I could do. Well, we'd been running about a week and ole Vic had gotten lazier and lazier. Yep, I was calling dispatch for our loads, planning our routes, fuel stops, and taking care of all the paperwork. Vic would disappear every chance he got. He'd flirt with the ladies, talk on the pay phones, and act like he didn't even know me. I mean that was alright, because I was an old man compared to Vic. You know, I figured it just wasn't kool for ole Vic to be seen with me. Now, what I couldn't take was his constant complaining. Yep, he'd gripe about everything I did. I mean everything ! Yep, we should of gone that way, or fueled there, or stopped here. Yep, according to him I didn't know what I was doing. So, I finally had enough. You know, a belly full. I mean if he was so smart ! Yeah, let him take charge, or at least do his part. Well, ole Vic decided that he was going to educate me. Yep, he called dispatch and got us a load. Then he took out the road atlas and plotted out our course. Yep, what a deal !

We were on our way. Yep, tooling down the big road and eating up the white lines. Now, we had picked up a load of big truck tires in Ohio and were suppose to be headed to the land of fruits and nuts. Now, I had driven my shift and had handed the wheel over to Vic. Yep, I was in the sleeper and Vic was racing down the highway. He also was trying my patience. I mean, it wasn't the rap-music, but the volume. He'd crank that sucker up to ear bleeding level and leave it there. I had asked him before turn it down. Yep, he'd turn it down a notch and then ten minutes later the sound waves would vibrate me out of the bunk. Anyway, I wrapped the pillow around my head and somehow nodded off to the twilight zone. I woke up a few hours later and took the shotgun seat. Ole Vic was wearing his dark shades and jamming to the tunes. I flipped on the dome lite and poured myself a hot one from my thermos.

I spotted the sign, " Hey Vic, we're going the wrong way ! "

Vic pointed his finger towards the windshield, " This is right ! We'll hit 40 and take it, I know what I'm doing. "

I shook my head, " No, we're headed North on 35, we're headed towards Moose country. You need to turn around. "

Vic tossed me the road atlas, " Look for yourself ! I checked it twice and we're headed right. "

I opened the atlas, " Vic ! Your going the wrong way ! Look ! See that, your going towards Canada ! We need to be going South ! "

Vic swung into the pickle park, " Wait a minute ! Here ! See that ! When I was sitting at the truckstop the map was facing this way. See, you had it upside down. Now, look at it ! "

I gave Vic the look, " Victor ! It doesn't matter which way this atlas faces. North is the top of the map, South is the bottom side, East is to the right, and West is to left. Now come on ! Your pulling my leg ! Right ? "

Nope Snazzers, ole Victor really thought that the way the map faced was the trick to reading it. Yeah I laughed. But hey ! I really shouldn't had, I mean, it was sad. You know, Victor wasn't a moron and he had been with at least four trainers. Yep, it took me five minutes to show him basic map reading. Now, I guess you think that he was grateful ? Hell no ! He acted like I was idiot and tried to pretend that he knew that all the time. Yeah sure ! That's why we were 300 miles out of route. Anyway, I'd hoped to make things work out between us. I didn't hate Victor, I mean I didn't care for him that much, but hey ! Well you know what I mean, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Nightie night Snazz.

 

Now that's Funny!

 

Ok, I just searched Google and 231,000 results came up for "Upside Down Map"

That's crazy!

 

That's the map ole Victor had alright. I guess that Duker and Sassy, must of met ole Vic. Hey lilillill that is crazy ! Sapphirecat I'll try to remember the nightie nights. Snazzy points all around, as Life Goes On.

Vic and I, arrived a day early for our delivery. We parked at the 76 and I took a much needed shower. Yep, a good hot meal, fresh drawers, and a chance to clear my head, from all of the collected thoughts that had built up. Vic was his usual self and strutted around like a Peacock in heat. Yep, I'd watch the other drivers all smirk, as Vic pranced his tight fitting jeans for all to see. I guess Victor thought that he looked kool. Of course I'm sure that most of the drivers just wondered how he ever got into those skin tight things. Well, maybe they were wondering how he was going to get out of them ? Anyway, I sashayed back to the truck and gathered my dirty laundry. Yep, I figured to get that out of the way and stay prepared. You just never know on the road when there's time to take care of stuff like that. Anyway, a couple of hours later I returned to find the truck gone. Yep, the whole 78' foot long, 13'"6 tall, 79,142 lbs (including freight), had disappeared. What a deal ! So, I walked the whole half mile square lot, inch by inch. Now, I didn't panic at first, you know, I was sure that Victor had some good reason to have moved it.

Yep, I checked at the fuel desk and they made a couple of announcements over their pubic address system. I checked at shop and even had another driver check over the C.B. waves. I even got the security patrolman to chauffeur me around. Nope, no luck ! Now, I guess the longer I sashayed around toting my laundry bag, the madder I got. You know, why would a team member take off without telling his co-driver ? There just weren't any good reasons that I could think of. Yep, I called PST dispatch and was put on hold for half an hour. Matter of fact the dispatcher thought that it was funny. So, it was getting dark and I was beat. Another driver heard my sad story and offered me his sleeper. He was local and is wife was picking him up for a couple of days off. Yep, that driver didn't know me from Adam's Ox, but handed me his keys. Yep, he had a spare set, so all I was to do was lock her up, and leave the key with the fuel desk. Yep, at least there were some old drivers left that cared about his fellow road companions. Of course I couldn't sleep and had to restrain myself from calling the cops. You know, what if ole Vic had been hijacked, or maybe he decided to ripoff the load. I'm sure those new big truck tires were worth a pretty penny.

Anyway, I decided to give it some time. You know, I'd wait until dawn and then if ole Vic was still missing... Scratch that ! Screw Victor ! I was just worried about the loaded truck ! Anyway, around 4 am, I spotted the rig sneaking between a Skunk and a Hunt. Yep, I darted over there like a shot and was fighting mad. Vic pulled the yellow knob as she farted a good one. Now, get this ! You know how those clown cars at the circus have fifty clowns stuffed in them ? Well, that's how the truck looked. Yep, fifty clowns all higher than kites came stumbling out. Vic wasn't feeling any pain and gave me a silly grin. I climbed up on her running board and jerked the drivers door dang near off it's hinges. Victor retreated to the sleeper and flopped down on the lower bunk. Now, I was so mad, that I couldn't see straight. You know ! I really wanted to put some hurt on Vic, like knock out a few of his teeth, break his legs, poke out an eye, bite off an ear, ripoff his head and piss down his throat ! But Hey ! I knew that if I confronted him right then, one of us would be in hospital, and I'd be jail. So, I held my rage and threw her in gear. We were a half hour away from our delivery and I just wanted to get her done.

Yep, there was a truck line, two blocks long in either direction. I parked and sashayed over to the guard shack. Well, the guard looked over my papers and gave me a number. Yep, I'd done good and managed to keep our 5am appointment. All I had to do was listen up on the C.B. for my number to be called. I thanked the guard and then jumped out of the way. Yep, ole Vic had gotten his drunken, dope headed, stupid, ignorant, arrogant, childish, foolish, non-driving, crap headed, worthless butt up, and cut right in front of the line. What a deal ! Now, as if that wasn't bad enough, he really out did himself. Yep, he drove right past the guard shack, through the gate, and started backing onto a dock door. He actually cut off another driver that was backing onto it. Now Snazzers, ya'll remember those old Frankenstein movies. You know, the monster is cornered with a hundred villagers all ready to do him in. Well, that's what it looked like. Yep, thirty crazed truckers, ten warehouse workers, a bus full of preschoolers, two stray cats, and myself, were ready to rip Victor a new one. Now, I really don't know who threw the first punch, it might of been one of the cats. Anyway, when the dust settled, ole Vic looked like ole, ' Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown, the Baddest Man '. You know at the end where there was a couple of pieces gone. Yep, I felt sorry for him, as I drug his limp body over beside the dumpster, and tossed him down like a sack of rotten potatoes.

Well sure enough, because of Victor, we were banished. No ! Not rescheduled, or told to come back. I mean we were given the old heave hoe. Yep, that place forbid us from even looking at their warehouse. So, I drove back to the truckstop. Okay ! Yes, I did stuff ole knot head, tooth loose, swollen lipped, black eyed, half conscious, mumbling, crack smoking, stupid, butt whipped Victor, into the sleeper. No ! I wasn't being soft hearted, or feeling his pain. I just couldn't leave him there and I really don't know why. I am sure that he wouldn't of done the same for me. But hey, maybe that just made me the better man. I don't know, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Should have left him. He'd have done the same for you. You're too kind Barney Goose.

 

Yep, only I'd have probably kicked the crap out of him back at the truck stop and left him in the weeds for the coyotes to eat.

"Vic... Vic who? Sorry officer, name doesn't ring a bell. He was eaten by coyotes, you say? Man, that's some tough luck!"
:smt077

 

Ouch! "Flirtin' with Disaster"

Nightie night Snazz.